Amy Scott's Thoughts

After yesterday’s blog on the closing of 2012, I couldn’t help but think about my blogging highlights as I posted links to past entries. It’s really hard to pick which ones are my favorites or which ones stood out to me the most. I’ve sorted them by month, so you get a sampling of Amy Scott’s Thoughts throughout 2012! Enjoy!

January

• A New Year and Another Year – Thoughts on the beginning of 2012
• Ice Storms and Power Outages – Thoughts on the Winter Storm of 2012

February

• Do It For The Kids – Thoughts on being silly for the sake of children’s ministry
• Leaving A Legacy – Thoughts on high school Spanish and leaving my mark on the school

March

• 5/7 Fast: The Beginning -Thoughts on this crazy experiment called the 5/7 Fast
  • Catch all the 5/7 blogs here.

April

• My Seven: Word To Live By – Thoughts on seven words that mean a lot to me
• Flying By -Thoughts on balancing life and not over filling it

May

• Preach It! – Thoughts on team preaching for the first time
• The World of Avonlea – Thoughts on one of my favorite childhood shows

June

• I Can Relate – Thoughts on being a writer
• My Day At The Briar Rose – Thoughts on a special day away

July

• Understanding My Introverted Nature – Thoughts on being the way God made me
• 1845 Miles – The Town and Country Road Trip -Thoughts on vacationing in Northern California

August

• I Will Not Find Comfort In… – Thoughts on not finding my comfort in things or people, only God
• Right When I Need It – Thoughts on encouragement at the right moment

September

• The Small Things Matter Most – Thoughts on why being small is better
• Feels Like Christmas – Thoughts on Jeremy’s luck and owning a Dyson

October

• Being Rewritten – Thoughts on God’s transforming power in my life
• Bittersweet: thoughts on change, grace and learning the hard way – Thoughts on one of the best books I’ve read this year

November

• Good Bye Old, Dear Friend – Thoughts on losing Hostess Products and how my life will never be the same
• Evergreen vs. Deciduous – Thoughts on trees and how they reflect our spiritual lives

December

• Keeping Secrets – Thoughts on how much to share in the blogging world
• December 23^rd – Thoughts on young love

Just a couple days left to 2012… Like everyone else, I can get contemplative and reflective at the end of any year. I think this is magnified by the fact that my birthday is so close to the beginning of the year. It seems like another calender year and another age is just around the corner. So what has 2012 and age 26 meant to me? Far more than I expected. Through out this blog there are links to different posts which capture the moments I am about to share. Feel free to read them and relive the memories with me.

There were a lot of great and exciting highlights to 2012. Jeremy and I went on a road trip, just for fun, to California. I got to see San Francisco and the redwood forests for the first time and it was an amazing adventure. I got to team preach for the first time ever. It was an honor to speak alongside two ladies I deeply admire. I also to got to speak at our local MOPS group. It’s been a year of stretching myself in front of people.  My sister moved home from Kansas in 2012. I can’t tell you what a blessing it is to have her close by again. We are both very busy so we don’t see each other as much as we would like, but it’s still comforting knowing she’s just a half hour away instead of days. I got my very first niece in 2012! The joy of having both a niece and a nephew is really unmatched!

In a lot of ways, I feel like 2012 and 26 were a growing up year for me. I guess my opinion in subjective, but more than ever, I feel like I’ve changed through 26. It was a harder year in ways. Things happened that totally caught me off guard and forced me to my knees. I learned a lot in the themes of humility, letting go, and trusting God. These lessons were born out of heart ache and hard decisions. However, I wouldn’t trade any of them. The depth of relationship that comes when the Lord is your only source of strength is overwhelming. I feel like I’ve let go of a lot of hopes, dreams and my own plans this year. I learned that I’m not really in control of any of them, so I just have to trust God. I know that he has placed desires in my heart and if he wishes to see them be then they will. If not, I have to be okay. While it feels like a lot of my “plans” where shattered in 2012, I walk into 2013 feeling more confident. I know that God is in control and that my plans may or may not pan out. I don’t need them to really. If they don’t, I know that God has something else in mind and I have to trust that his plan is good and just as life giving. More than ever, I believe that my God is good and that he has good things for me. I can rest in his assurance that they will happen in his time, not my own. I am thankful for the peace that comes when I stopped struggling for my own way. It’s so good. This year, God has showed up big. I am blown away and deeply in awe of how he cares for me.

Last year I really didn’t set any resolutions for 2012. I did a write a blog about being better at my relationships. I’m not sure I’m the fairest judge, but the great thing about God rocking my world is that my eyes have shifted from myself. When I’m not so worried about making my life happen, I can focus on others more freely. I feel in my heart that in some way, I did accomplish my goal in 2012. As for 2013, I don’t have traditional resolutions. My biggest hope and prayer is that I will continue to go deeper in learning humility, trust, gratitude, content and resolve. I know who God has called me to be and I know what he has called me to do. I pray I can walk forward completely trusting him. I’m not trying to do it in my own strength. Not any more. 2012 has been a year of surrender and I am so hopeful for what 2013 will bring.

Christmas Break 2004

December 23rd has always been a special day for me. Eight years ago, I was riding home with Jeremy after spending the evening together. I have admit I don’t remember the exact activity. We had been talking since October and had seen each a couple times through November and December. I considered these outings to be “dates” but we had yet to have the DTR – define the relationship. Jeremy had ask me to spend Christmas Eve with his family and my roommate was all in a tizzy. She thought it was inappropriate for a non-committed couple to spend the holidays together and meet the family. I wasn’t too concerned about it, but the holiday did lend itself to giving titles and making things official. I sensed the DTR was on the horizon, but I didn’t want to be the one to bring it about. That was the man’s job. On this drive to my house Jeremy asks me how I would like to be introduced to his family the next evening. Of course being unsure of myself, I asked him how he wanted to introduce to his family. He told me he would like to introduce me as his girlfriend and I said that would be fine with me. Thus, an official relationship was started. This was my first time being a “girlfriend” and I was beyond excited! I do remember running to my sister’s room when I got home to share the news. My mom said she guessed something like that had happened because I wasn’t too quiet in sharing my excitement.  Now I know it might seem a little silly, but I do remember this day fondly. To me this day marks eight years of Jeremy and Amy. I knew I was dating a great guy at the time and let me tell you, my love and respect for this man has only deepened with time. Jeremy balances me out so well and I don’t know what I would do without his laid back influence in my life. He might have shot my five year to plan to pieces with that simple question, but I’m okay with that. Life has been an adventure and God has been so good to us! So, Jeremy, happy eight years of being us – I love you!

My beautiful grandparents!

Today has been a day of remembering. I knew it was coming, however, it wasn’t the first thing I thought of today. I remembered in the middle of my morning routine – today is the day. Two years ago today my grandpa passed away. I will admit that the time leading up to this anniversary last year was a lot harder than I expected and I was surprised that this year I was doing much better. My guess was that time really was doing some healing. However, today it caught me off guard. It hasn’t been easy. I have a lot of weighing on my mind and when it wanders, I remember… I remember that today is the day.

My grandpa was really sick towards the end of his life and I am grateful to know that he is with his Savior and he is totally healed and happy. I know that he would want us to celebrate his life and not be sad, but I just don’t feel like skipping or doing a happy dance. I guess that is okay, right? I miss him. I still feel weird when I sit in his spot on the loveseat. Sometimes I notice his laugh and voice missing from the chaos of a family event.

He lived a good life and he was well loved. He was a great grandpa. I have many happy memories with him in them and for that I am blessed. I was lucky enough to really tell him how much he meant to me before he passed away. I didn’t expect today to be so hard, but I do know that God is good. I do know that no matter what, I have comfort in the arms of Christ. So today I turn my burden over to him. I know that my grandpa is in a good place and while I miss him, I know I’ll see him again. That is enough to get me through the day.

Published on September 13, 2012

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” – Ecclesiastes 1:2

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” Ecclesiastes 1:18

Thanks to my wonderful mentor and friend, Vicki Judd, I found myself sitting and listening to a podcast by Jonathan Martin entitled “The Gift of Being Small“. Seriously, it was an amazing sermon on Ecclesiastes. I had a major light blub moment while listening to it. In fact, this sermon hit so close to home. It’s right where I am at! God’s Word is so powerful and a well time message is confirmation from the Lord. It was a beautiful thing. So let me try to explain! I have included the link, so you can listen in as well. It’s worth the time! Please try!

Okay, the book of Ecclesiastes is always really cheery. I mean who doesn’t love being told everything is meaningless? Makes you want to grab some pom-poms, right? YAY LIFE!  But as I listened to the Word and Jonathan’s explanation, it just came alive right where I needed it. You see getting smarter, filling your mind with more, trying to always achieve the next level – in life, at work, wherever – it’s never going to satisfy. There will never be enough. There will always be more that we want, that we need. On this side of heaven, we will never achieve it all. We will never arrive. We can spend our whole existence chasing after more. More money, more intelligence, more skills, more responsibility. Our desires for more will never be fulfilled. In fact, the higher up the ladder of more we climb, we find that it’s harder to be satisfied. Every new thing loses it’s thrill. A new phase of life, a new toy, a new job – nothing stays new forever and the need for more creeps in. This is the life most live. It’s considered chasing after the American dream. Really – it’s meaningless. It will never satisfy. A chasing after the wind.

Now that we’re all built up and feeling awesome about life – the Teacher says “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?.” (Ecclesiastes 2:24-25). It comes down to the simple things. Enjoy a meal because it’s from God. Enjoy the small things. Enjoy the things in this moment. Looking back – meaningless. Looking forward – meaningless. Enjoy the moment – God’s perfect gift.

As I count 1000 gifts yet again, I  am so aware of the small things. How each one of them is a gift from the Lord. Each breath, each meal, each laugh, each smile. They are all priceless and yet cost so little. These are things that make life worth living. They can not be enjoyed apart of God and the knowledge that he is the gift-giver. Jonathan said, when you think you’re BIG – you expect big things, you need big things. When you realize how small you are, you can be satisfied by the simple pleasures. It’s not about having it all figured out. It’s not about being the greatest. It’s not about how awesome we are. It’s about God. It’s about the fact that he loves us. He is in each moment. Especially the small moments, the ones we tend to overlook. Life is so much better when we are satisfied by the small things. The things that are free and precious and vastly unseen.

While I have known this in my head, for the first time in my life (in my heart), I am living each day with two questions in my mind. The first is – Am I loving God? Have I given him my time, my praise, my worship, my adoration? Is my love for him growing and deepening? The second questions is – Am I loving people? In my actions, in my words, through my decisions and choices? Jesus says these are the two greatest commandments and they go hand in hand. If I can answer yes to both of those then it’s a good day. I’m on mission. I’m living life on purpose. It’s not about to-do lists and achieving and reaching goals and cleaning bathrooms. Love God. Love people. Find joy in the small. See God’s gifts in each moment.

This is manna! This is the meal that sustains me. This is the good life. I am so blessed. Tickled down to my toes over the little things. Why? Because they are signs that I am loved by a BIG GOD! It’s mind-blowing! I am humbled! As Ann Voskamp says, I may never wear shoes again. This is sacred ground!

Published on July 25, 2011

This last weekend, my husband and I got a chance to steal away to the mountains. It was a spur of the moment camping trip. Those that know me well, know that I am not a spontaneous person. Normally my trips are well planned out in advance and in great detail. Jeremy suggested that we go camping on our drive into church on Wednesday night. Of course, there were things to discuss, but once all the details were sorted, in less than 24 hours we were on the road for a mini-vacation adventure.

Before I got married I wasn’t much of a camper. My dad joked that my sister and I’s idea of camping was staying at a Super 8. Since my family wasn’t really into camping, all I had to go off of was an experience I had in 4th grade when I went camping for one night as a Girl Scout. The highlights from that trip long ago were making pizza pockets and drinking Apple Cider from the mix which I had discovered for the first time that night. With such a limited camping history, I didn’t realize that I would become the person that goes on a camping trip every summer. This summer I even get to go on two camping adventures!

By far one of the biggest advantages to camping is the fact that I get to unplug from the real world for a bit. It’s great to travel to a location where there is no cell reception and no electricity. Laptops and television have no place while enjoying the great outdoors. There is something relaxing about sitting at the campfire with a good book while being shaded by tall, old trees.  The chance to step away from the busyness of life and the constant connection of technology allows you to hear and see in different ways.

Where we have camped the last two years is called the Lower Fall Recreation Area in Gifford Pinchot National Forest. The title of the campground might be lacking when it comes to describing this beautiful area. The Lower Falls are located on the Lewis River and are literally right next to the campground. Our campsite was on the loop closest to the falls and you could hear them day and night as they flowed ever constant.

Psalms 42:7 says, “Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.” This verse came to mind as I visited the falls. There is so much power in a waterfall. You can feel the spray even at a distance. You can hear the water even before you can see the falls. The amount of water that pours over a waterfall is powerful. It’s presence can not be denied! Just like this waterfall, there is a strong parallel to God’s presence. Waterfalls can be very pretty, but their strength can also be intense. When you compare God to a waterfall, you can see how He pours over you. This presence roars – it is not silent! I would imagine that having the waves and breakers sweeping over you might be overwhelming  and definitely overpowering! Unlike the truly deadly effects of the Lower Falls, I know that when God sweeps over me, it will not be to harm to me. Oh, it might not feel good, but even in the roar of life, I can see how He uses each situation to speak to me and show me His presence. I am in awe of the God who created this mighty waterfall. His love has an intensity that I can see through the example of nature. I couldn’t ignore the sound of the falls from my campsite, I can not ignore the sound of God in my life. Washed over by His waves and breakers, I can see my dependence on Him.

Published on October 10, 2011

My love story started with a board and staff barbeque and an email. That might not sound very romantic, but I have learned not look down on small beginnings. Things that seem to be small can grow and develop and that’s exactly what happened!

It was my first month away from home. I had started college in Portland, OR and I had agreed to come home and help me parents as they hosted a board and staff barbeque at their house. I knew that coming home meant helping them set up and clean up once the gathering was over. I dearly loved the staff of my home church and I was excited to spend an evening with them even if I was only invited for manual labor.

That evening, I can remember meeting our new senior pastor for the first time. I can remember talking with my mentor, Jeannie, about a boy I had a crush on at school… Then it happened… the conversation that started it all. My parents had two chinchillas as pets. The pastoral intern, Jeremy, started asking me questions about them and we settled down in my father’s den to look at the little creatures. Our discussion soon turned to school. Jeremy had a lot of questions for me. I knew he that never had “gone” off to college so I figured he just was really interested in knowing what it was like to live on campus and what classes I was taking since he was also a college student taking distance courses. We had a good talk and I can remember his parents were literally out in the car waiting to leave and he was still chatting with me.  Once the night was over, I took it as we had a good conversation and that was that. Nothing more…

I came home again in October for what Multnomah Bible College (now university) called mid-semester break. It was a four day weekend and I was glad to be back home again with family and familiar faces. My dad had asked me to help him in the Sunday morning services as he appreciated the pastors. My dad used the illustration of PAM, the cooking spray, to remember Pastor Appreciation Month. I got to help him pass out cards the staff. Of course, Jeremy was one of the staff members on stage and I remember wondering if he would come to talk to me that morning. He didn’t… I went back to school yet again not really thinking too much about it.

This week, seven years ago, I received an email from Jeremy (this would be the Tuesday after my weekend home). This is what it said:

Hi there,

How’s school going for you?  This probably seems a little strange just getting an email out of nowhere from me.   Over the past few weeks I have found myself thinking back to when I had the chance to talk to you for a while at the Board and Staff BBQ.  I had fun talking to you and wished we could have talked longer.  I realize that you are away at college but I would really like the chance to talk to you more and get to know you more.  I was surprised to see you at church on Sunday and wanted to catch you then, but the only time I found you was in a service while up front.  Anyway, I’m curious to know your thoughts about all this.  I hope you’re having a great week and pray that your classes are going well for you.  ~Jeremy 

I’m pretty sure I read that email a million times. Like most girls, I was reading between the lines. Did this mean he liked me? Did I like him? I had known of Jeremy over the years because we both attended Bethel. Even though he was older than me (by five years, so we were never in youth ministry at the same time), his reputation for being a strong Christian and his heart for ministry were clear. Knowing his character made it easy for me to see that this a good guy and worth getting to know.

I replied to the email and we’ve been in constant communication ever since! I praise God that for 7 years this wonderful man has been in my life! I still look back on those early days of emails and phone calls. It was so simple. Nothing over the top, but those small beginnings lead somewhere really good and I am glad for them. Sweet memories fill my mind as I remember what started 7 years ago!

The Last of the Hostess Products!

I will admit that the news of Hostess going under has been shocking for me. I was raised on Hostess Products and many jokes have made about the company sustaining my life. Isn’t everything better with cream filling? Just saying… I’m the poster child for Hostess. While many will find that appalling,  (sorry to my health nut friends and family) I will always hold a place for Hostess products in my heart! Here are a few of the memories I will carry with me.

• My mom used to give me Twinkies as a young child because they would occupy my attention. I was fascinated with the cream filling and the wonder of the treat kept me quiet. I should also note that my mom stopped buying me Hostess products at some point growing up because she had dreams of me being a diabetic.
• There was lady who worked at the library when I was little. She was friend of my mom’s and it seems like every time I saw her she would give me crumb donettes (also called crunch donettes). Good childhood memory!
• In middle school, my friend Cydnie and I a Twinkie war where we threw a box full of Twinkies at each other. They were still in their packages so we didn’t make a mess. The Twinkies, however, did get smushed beyond recognition.
• In high school, my Spanish teacher and class did a experiment. We called it the Twinkie of Doom. We taped a Twinkie in the wrapper to a small board and let it sit out in the classroom to see how it would do. Apparently the shelf-life isn’t as great as everyone assumes. I guess keeping it in the box and out of direct sunlight would have prolonged its life.

I could write you about my love for Twinkie, Cupcakes, Ding Dong (kept in the freezer), SnoBalls,  Cherry Fruit Pies and Crumb Donettes for what would seem like forever to you, but a short minute to me. This is road trip food, study food, try to fix a bad mood food. These are the flavors of my childhood and I’m sad that I won’t be able to keep my own children quiet with the wonder of a Twinkie (I’m sure my mom is glad that will not be a part of her legacy). Jeremy ran to one of the local gas stations today and found two 6-packs of crumb donettes for me. It was a total surprise and a bit sentimental. I will eat them, not save them as some kind of a experiment. I will enjoy one and try to make a memory with my taste buds. So long my dear Hostess friends. My life will not be the same. Some will say for the better, but I’ll know the truth. You are a defining part of me, like it or not, and I will miss you greatly.