Just a couple days left to 2012… Like everyone else, I can get contemplative and reflective at the end of any year. I think this is magnified by the fact that my birthday is so close to the beginning of the year. It seems like another calender year and another age is just around the corner. So what has 2012 and age 26 meant to me? Far more than I expected. Through out this blog there are links to different posts which capture the moments I am about to share. Feel free to read them and relive the memories with me.
There were a lot of great and exciting highlights to 2012. Jeremy and I went on a road trip, just for fun, to California. I got to see San Francisco and the redwood forests for the first time and it was an amazing adventure. I got to team preach for the first time ever. It was an honor to speak alongside two ladies I deeply admire. I also to got to speak at our local MOPS group. It’s been a year of stretching myself in front of people. My sister moved home from Kansas in 2012. I can’t tell you what a blessing it is to have her close by again. We are both very busy so we don’t see each other as much as we would like, but it’s still comforting knowing she’s just a half hour away instead of days. I got my very first niece in 2012! The joy of having both a niece and a nephew is really unmatched!
In a lot of ways, I feel like 2012 and 26 were a growing up year for me. I guess my opinion in subjective, but more than ever, I feel like I’ve changed through 26. It was a harder year in ways. Things happened that totally caught me off guard and forced me to my knees. I learned a lot in the themes of humility, letting go, and trusting God. These lessons were born out of heart ache and hard decisions. However, I wouldn’t trade any of them. The depth of relationship that comes when the Lord is your only source of strength is overwhelming. I feel like I’ve let go of a lot of hopes, dreams and my own plans this year. I learned that I’m not really in control of any of them, so I just have to trust God. I know that he has placed desires in my heart and if he wishes to see them be then they will. If not, I have to be okay. While it feels like a lot of my “plans” where shattered in 2012, I walk into 2013 feeling more confident. I know that God is in control and that my plans may or may not pan out. I don’t need them to really. If they don’t, I know that God has something else in mind and I have to trust that his plan is good and just as life giving. More than ever, I believe that my God is good and that he has good things for me. I can rest in his assurance that they will happen in his time, not my own. I am thankful for the peace that comes when I stopped struggling for my own way. It’s so good. This year, God has showed up big. I am blown away and deeply in awe of how he cares for me.
Last year I really didn’t set any resolutions for 2012. I did a write a blog about being better at my relationships. I’m not sure I’m the fairest judge, but the great thing about God rocking my world is that my eyes have shifted from myself. When I’m not so worried about making my life happen, I can focus on others more freely. I feel in my heart that in some way, I did accomplish my goal in 2012. As for 2013, I don’t have traditional resolutions. My biggest hope and prayer is that I will continue to go deeper in learning humility, trust, gratitude, content and resolve. I know who God has called me to be and I know what he has called me to do. I pray I can walk forward completely trusting him. I’m not trying to do it in my own strength. Not any more. 2012 has been a year of surrender and I am so hopeful for what 2013 will bring.