Amy Scott's Thoughts

My beautiful grandparents!

Today has been a day of remembering. I knew it was coming, however, it wasn’t the first thing I thought of today. I remembered in the middle of my morning routine – today is the day. Two years ago today my grandpa passed away. I will admit that the time leading up to this anniversary last year was a lot harder than I expected and I was surprised that this year I was doing much better. My guess was that time really was doing some healing. However, today it caught me off guard. It hasn’t been easy. I have a lot of weighing on my mind and when it wanders, I remember… I remember that today is the day.

My grandpa was really sick towards the end of his life and I am grateful to know that he is with his Savior and he is totally healed and happy. I know that he would want us to celebrate his life and not be sad, but I just don’t feel like skipping or doing a happy dance. I guess that is okay, right? I miss him. I still feel weird when I sit in his spot on the loveseat. Sometimes I notice his laugh and voice missing from the chaos of a family event.

He lived a good life and he was well loved. He was a great grandpa. I have many happy memories with him in them and for that I am blessed. I was lucky enough to really tell him how much he meant to me before he passed away. I didn’t expect today to be so hard, but I do know that God is good. I do know that no matter what, I have comfort in the arms of Christ. So today I turn my burden over to him. I know that my grandpa is in a good place and while I miss him, I know I’ll see him again. That is enough to get me through the day.

Published on September 13, 2012

“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” – Ecclesiastes 1:2

“For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.” Ecclesiastes 1:18

Thanks to my wonderful mentor and friend, Vicki Judd, I found myself sitting and listening to a podcast by Jonathan Martin entitled “The Gift of Being Small“. Seriously, it was an amazing sermon on Ecclesiastes. I had a major light blub moment while listening to it. In fact, this sermon hit so close to home. It’s right where I am at! God’s Word is so powerful and a well time message is confirmation from the Lord. It was a beautiful thing. So let me try to explain! I have included the link, so you can listen in as well. It’s worth the time! Please try!

Okay, the book of Ecclesiastes is always really cheery. I mean who doesn’t love being told everything is meaningless? Makes you want to grab some pom-poms, right? YAY LIFE!  But as I listened to the Word and Jonathan’s explanation, it just came alive right where I needed it. You see getting smarter, filling your mind with more, trying to always achieve the next level – in life, at work, wherever – it’s never going to satisfy. There will never be enough. There will always be more that we want, that we need. On this side of heaven, we will never achieve it all. We will never arrive. We can spend our whole existence chasing after more. More money, more intelligence, more skills, more responsibility. Our desires for more will never be fulfilled. In fact, the higher up the ladder of more we climb, we find that it’s harder to be satisfied. Every new thing loses it’s thrill. A new phase of life, a new toy, a new job – nothing stays new forever and the need for more creeps in. This is the life most live. It’s considered chasing after the American dream. Really – it’s meaningless. It will never satisfy. A chasing after the wind.

Now that we’re all built up and feeling awesome about life – the Teacher says “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?.” (Ecclesiastes 2:24-25). It comes down to the simple things. Enjoy a meal because it’s from God. Enjoy the small things. Enjoy the things in this moment. Looking back – meaningless. Looking forward – meaningless. Enjoy the moment – God’s perfect gift.

As I count 1000 gifts yet again, I  am so aware of the small things. How each one of them is a gift from the Lord. Each breath, each meal, each laugh, each smile. They are all priceless and yet cost so little. These are things that make life worth living. They can not be enjoyed apart of God and the knowledge that he is the gift-giver. Jonathan said, when you think you’re BIG – you expect big things, you need big things. When you realize how small you are, you can be satisfied by the simple pleasures. It’s not about having it all figured out. It’s not about being the greatest. It’s not about how awesome we are. It’s about God. It’s about the fact that he loves us. He is in each moment. Especially the small moments, the ones we tend to overlook. Life is so much better when we are satisfied by the small things. The things that are free and precious and vastly unseen.

While I have known this in my head, for the first time in my life (in my heart), I am living each day with two questions in my mind. The first is – Am I loving God? Have I given him my time, my praise, my worship, my adoration? Is my love for him growing and deepening? The second questions is – Am I loving people? In my actions, in my words, through my decisions and choices? Jesus says these are the two greatest commandments and they go hand in hand. If I can answer yes to both of those then it’s a good day. I’m on mission. I’m living life on purpose. It’s not about to-do lists and achieving and reaching goals and cleaning bathrooms. Love God. Love people. Find joy in the small. See God’s gifts in each moment.

This is manna! This is the meal that sustains me. This is the good life. I am so blessed. Tickled down to my toes over the little things. Why? Because they are signs that I am loved by a BIG GOD! It’s mind-blowing! I am humbled! As Ann Voskamp says, I may never wear shoes again. This is sacred ground!

Published on July 25, 2011

This last weekend, my husband and I got a chance to steal away to the mountains. It was a spur of the moment camping trip. Those that know me well, know that I am not a spontaneous person. Normally my trips are well planned out in advance and in great detail. Jeremy suggested that we go camping on our drive into church on Wednesday night. Of course, there were things to discuss, but once all the details were sorted, in less than 24 hours we were on the road for a mini-vacation adventure.

Before I got married I wasn’t much of a camper. My dad joked that my sister and I’s idea of camping was staying at a Super 8. Since my family wasn’t really into camping, all I had to go off of was an experience I had in 4th grade when I went camping for one night as a Girl Scout. The highlights from that trip long ago were making pizza pockets and drinking Apple Cider from the mix which I had discovered for the first time that night. With such a limited camping history, I didn’t realize that I would become the person that goes on a camping trip every summer. This summer I even get to go on two camping adventures!

By far one of the biggest advantages to camping is the fact that I get to unplug from the real world for a bit. It’s great to travel to a location where there is no cell reception and no electricity. Laptops and television have no place while enjoying the great outdoors. There is something relaxing about sitting at the campfire with a good book while being shaded by tall, old trees.  The chance to step away from the busyness of life and the constant connection of technology allows you to hear and see in different ways.

Where we have camped the last two years is called the Lower Fall Recreation Area in Gifford Pinchot National Forest. The title of the campground might be lacking when it comes to describing this beautiful area. The Lower Falls are located on the Lewis River and are literally right next to the campground. Our campsite was on the loop closest to the falls and you could hear them day and night as they flowed ever constant.

Psalms 42:7 says, “Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.” This verse came to mind as I visited the falls. There is so much power in a waterfall. You can feel the spray even at a distance. You can hear the water even before you can see the falls. The amount of water that pours over a waterfall is powerful. It’s presence can not be denied! Just like this waterfall, there is a strong parallel to God’s presence. Waterfalls can be very pretty, but their strength can also be intense. When you compare God to a waterfall, you can see how He pours over you. This presence roars – it is not silent! I would imagine that having the waves and breakers sweeping over you might be overwhelming  and definitely overpowering! Unlike the truly deadly effects of the Lower Falls, I know that when God sweeps over me, it will not be to harm to me. Oh, it might not feel good, but even in the roar of life, I can see how He uses each situation to speak to me and show me His presence. I am in awe of the God who created this mighty waterfall. His love has an intensity that I can see through the example of nature. I couldn’t ignore the sound of the falls from my campsite, I can not ignore the sound of God in my life. Washed over by His waves and breakers, I can see my dependence on Him.