Amy Scott's Thoughts

Sharing the thoughts that bounce around in my brain!

All the Days April 20, 2012

Filed under: Recollections,Simply Me — Amy Scott @ 3:06 pm

April and I being our silly selves in the Malibu - Summer 2005

I’m a very nostalgic person. I have lot of fond memories and they are easily triggered.  This week it has been happening a lot as my husband and I have decided to sell my car. I know it’s not mine, but ours… it was given to us as wedding present from my parents. It was the car that they let me take off to college and in a lot of ways I have bonded with it. So many memories actually take place in the car. It seems strange to think of, but it’s true. I can think of the deep and meaningful conversations I’ve had in this car and the fun moments of being silly and singing at the top of my lungs!

Yesterday I drove my car into work and thought to myself this may be one of the last times I drive it. Turns out later that morning was Jeremy making plans to meet a lady in Tacoma to sell it. I associate driving in the car with my music. I was joking that I wished I had time to make a mixed CD of all the songs I wanted to hear one last time in the Malibu. While no special “Last Drive” CD was made, I spent the ride up to Tacoma popping CDs in and out of the player so I could have the same effect. However, the lady was a no show. I know Jeremy needs this car to sell before he can buy himself a new truck and I had worked myself up trying process the fact the Malibu would soon belong to someone else. It was a little bittersweet – more time with my car, but more waiting for it sell.

I was still in that place of wanting to relive the songs that I love in the car that I love. Truthfully, from my music choices I can tell that my taste in music is stuck right in the early 2000s. I popped in a CD that I loved from high school and rocked out on my way to dinner last night. One of the songs was all about getting ready to leave for college and that last day with all your friends before you all go in different directions. Back in the summer of 2004, I really connected with this song. This was my reality. The song was anthem of my situation.  As I sang along last night, this line of the song really stuck out to me:

All the days we’ve been traveling together, I won’t even look over my shoulder till I find the cure for getting older.

Suddenly I felt old!!! Now I know at 26, I’m not old.  But I sang these words 8 years ago! The song talks about not slowing down and being ready to move on to what’s next. In a way that’s what I’ve been doing. I went off to college in Portland, I got married, started working in ministry alongside my husband, bought a house, got a dog. Life keeps moving!  However, unlike the writer of this song, I do stop and look over my shoulder from time to time. I’m amazed at how far I’ve come and how far I still have to go. I’m thankful for the memories I have. I’m even more thankful I’m still making memories with friends from that period of time in my life.  There are people in my life who knew me deeply then and still know me deeply now. That is a gift I cherish!

So I might have been reliving those moments, those high school glory days as I drove to dinner last night with the music blaring in my car. They were good times. I keep thinking of the line “all the days we’ve been traveling together” – God has definitely been at the steering wheel guiding me. Some of the passengers in the car are newer friends, but some of them have been there a long time. Even though it might seem like those days are forever ago, I know they are sweet memories I choose to hold on to. I also know that I’m not done yet. Even if I’m not driving my trusted Malibu, there will be lots of deep conversations in the car and lots of singing at the top of my lungs. I can see God’s hand on all the days behind me and all the days still before me! I’m buckled up and ready to go!

 

Just a little different April 18, 2012

Filed under: Simply Me — Amy Scott @ 10:21 am

All this personality and gifts assessing reminds me how truly different we all are. No one is exactly alike. God has wired us all different! Sometimes I think God might have mixed up a few wires, because I often compare myself others and desire to be different. However, God is good at reminding me who I am. He won’t let me forget that he made me on purpose.  I guess I better trust with all of me – even the weird stuff!

I’ve been formulating this blog in my head the last couple days and really trying to pin down the strange sides of my personality that you may or may not know. This is a small glance in the very unique creation God made when he created Amy Scott. Here we go:

  • I mentioned this in an earlier blog, but I don’t like odd numbers. They rub me the wrong way. I love even numbers. They make me happy. Why? I have no idea!
  • I don’t eat breakfast, but if there is chocolate cake in the house then that will be my breakfast of choice! Yum!
  • In an ideal world, I would get up around or after 9:00am and go to bed sometime around or after midnight. I’m a night owl, but I’ve had to learn to curb my tendencies so I’m well rested and nice to people in the mornings.
  • I would rather get lost in a book than in the mall – shopping is not one of my favorite things.
  • I usually only go clothing shopping twice a year. Once for fall/winter clothes and again for spring/summer.  Why go shopping over time when I can do it all at once and get it out of the way!
  • I like to start Christmas shopping in October.
  • I used to collect things when I was growing up (i.e. Cherished Teddies, Cabbage Patch Dolls, stuffed animal monkeys), but now I’m very anti-collection and anti-clutter. Apart from a few pictures, I don’t display personal things in my house.
  • I love Hostess products! Twinkies, ding dongs, crumb donuts, cherry pies! Yes, please!
  • I have to sleep with all the doors in my room closed.
  • I can’t picture things in my head very well (this frustrates me a lot) – like imagine this room with (insert changes) or picture this wall gone… It hurts my head.
  • I don’t like to get wet. Everyone jokes when I say this about how I shower everyday – that is different. I love being clean, I just don’t like being wet. So swimming isn’t high on my list of fun things, I also can’t stand being in wet clothes. It’s the grossest feeling ever.
  • I always lock doors – safety first!
  • If I’m home alone while watching a movie or reading a book – I will usually sob over happy endings or touching moments. Not so much when I have an audience!
  • I order the same 2-3 menu items at certain restaurants. I almost never try something new. At some places I only order one thing and that is it.

Those are the few things that make me who I am. I know I have ton more that I haven’t listed. If anything, I want to remind us all that we are weird. No one is normal. God made us this way on purpose. Instead of spending your energy trying to be someone else, free yourself and be yourself!

 

 

My Seven: Words to LIVE by April 17, 2012

Filed under: Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 8:00 am

Okay, for those of you who have followed my blog at all know one thing – I LOVE words! They make me happy! When written down, they are the way I most preferred to express myself. They are my friends. Now imagine this: 373 words on a list. I am told to circle any word that stands out to me. This means I make friends with 176 of them.

Now I have to take my list done to 50…then 25…12…10…8…7!!! At this point, I’m almost crying! I’m kind of joking, but not really. It was like killing friends. Each one hurt to cross off my list. This was one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time.  The bright spot was I was allowed to add one word back on to my list. Thus, my seven! My words! These words define my core values!  Ready for them?

  1. Acceptance – I’ve always felt a little different. I often feel on the outside (for various reasons). I have a strong desire for acceptance – to be seen as me and accepted for me. I’m also a strong advocate for acceptance in my ministry. I want the environments I create to be one of acceptance.
  2. Compassion – This is my heart for ministry right here. I know I have been called by God to serve the church and the world. Through compassion I see my calling. I love people and I want to make a difference in their life. I am moved by their struggles and their pain. I was told you can’t have compassion without passion. I am passionate about loving people and doing something about it!
  3. Courage – Now if you look at me, I’m not sure you would say “She’s one courageous lady”, but let me tell you, my life hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would. In a lot of ways, God has set me on a different path than I expected. Each step in accepting this calling involved lots of courage. God still has dreams awaking in my heart and I know they will involve courage.
  4. Encouragement – Back to the spiritual gifts I mentioned yesterday, this is up there for me. I want to be source of encouragement to people. I want to strengthen them and help them through life. I want to be a place people can turn to for support.
  5. Integrity – Thanks to great leaders in my life at a young age, I’ve been told the importance of integrity. I have been poured into by people of integrity and I want to live up their legacy.  Integrity is essential! It’s so core – thus, it’s one of my core value. Integrity isn’t just important to me, but I hold high standards for those I love. I want to help call out integrity in those around me.
  6. Joy – I crave joy! One prayer that I seem to come back to is – Lord, give me more joy! I want to be a joyful person. I worry that the weight of the world will squelch my joy. I get so overwhelmed that I have to fight for my joy. I have also learned that I am the biggest killer of my joy.  I am making changes in my thinking so that way my joy doesn’t leave. I need joy!
  7. Vision – I know that I have not arrived. I will never be perfect or complete on this side of heaven. While I’m not a visionary, I know that I need to have a vision for my future. I need to know what I’m working towards – what is the vision and how am I making it happen? Without vision life is not worth living. Honestly, life without vision is just movement. I’m always seeking God for what’s next! He is my vision supplier and I will courageously follow him. Wherever He leads!

The word that I got to add back was balance. Marshall Snider (our conference speaker, along with his wife, Lesley) told us this wasn’t necessarily a part of our core value words, but it was more a word we aspire to. I can see how that truly fits with balance. I’m so worried that my ministry lifestyle will lead to a lifestyle that isn’t balanced. How do I balance my calling and my passion with my marriage and future family? I often worry about my future children and if they’ll resent parents in ministry. Balance has always been so important to me. I desire healthy boundaries. Balance – just like joy, I crave it.

Marshall said that people would be able to see our core values in us. He also said that stories will be attached them. People will see me living my values and be able to tell me stories about how they see it in me. I can already see my own stories fitting into these values. If you know me and one of these values sparks a story, do you mind sharing it with me? I’m really solidifying these words in my life and stories will help do that. I love these words. They mean a lot to me. I’m excited to build them into my core and to be me through them. I hope they shed some light on how I work and what means a lot to me.

PS – Does anyone else think it’s cool that Marshall had us choose seven words? Seven seems to be following me! I’m warming up to the number even though it is odd (I am strange and only like even numbers).

 

It’s an assessment, ladies, not a test! April 16, 2012

Filed under: Travels,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 3:07 pm

Roomies!

I got to spend the weekend with a hundred plus Bethel ladies at the Oregon Coast. It was a pretty good time. There were lots of laughs and insightful moments spent with friends. The weather even cooperated! There is nothing better than strolling on the beach with the sun shining (note I didn’t mention the temperature – that was still chilly).

It’s been a few years since I last went on a retreat with our church and I have to admit I was surprised by the sessions. The teaching was powerful – I totally expected that. What I didn’t expect was taking a bunch of tests. Oops, I mean assessments!   There were no wrong answers and cheating off of your neighbor certainly wouldn’t have helped you get a better score. We took 3 different assessments. One was a spiritual gifts test, one was the DISC test with a twist, and one was core values test… Assessments… You know what I mean!

The Spiritual Gifts assessment was good for me because I hadn’t really taken anything similar to that since high school. Two gifts tied for top spot on my list – teaching and faith. Seriously, this is me! If you ask me what is most important to me, the one thing I never want to stop doing – it would be teaching! Teaching about what? Faith! These two go hand in hand for me so I think it’s special that they shared top billing! My next gift was encouragement/exhortation.  I see my passion for mentoring in this gift. I love to encourage people and bring a bright spot to their day. I love helping people sort through life. I can see this gift in full swing in a lot of my relationships. Love it! These things get me excited and I really feel like I’m living my purpose when I’m doing these things!

The next assessment was the DISC and I have to say that I had already taken this test just over a year ago. I planned on not taking it since I knew who I was. Honestly, my head was spinning from all the numbers and adding in the last assessment and I didn’t want to do another one… But I did. I felt I little quilted into it, but oh well, it’s was good for me. The twist to this test caught me off guard. At first I thought my scores were identical to the last time I took it. However, that fell under a new category – “What is expected of me”. The next category – “Who I am” – still had me as a high C, but it also added a lot of S to my mix. I have to admit at first I was upset that my score had changed. Then I realized having more S in my life was probably a good thing. Both S and C are passive, but one is task-oriented and one is people-oriented. I think this more accurately fits me. I am a high C which means I’m very focused on quality and correctness (my perfectionist nature). However S adds stability and support to my personality. The Biblical advice for both these categories was so awesome because I can see what I need in it: For my C – be more positive, avoid a bitter and critical spirit, don’t worry. For my S – be bold and courageous, be confident and fearless, be more enthusiastic.  Seriously, that is me! I need all of those things and all of those things God has already been speaking to me about. You know God is talking to you when things line up and the same voice is coming from multiple sources!

Assessments don’t define you, but they can help you figure out how you tick. I have taken many and really they have helped me convey who I am to others. Like the Myers-Brigs assessment, I know I am an ISTJ (look it up and you’ll find a perfect description of me – http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTJ.html). I can use these terms to help other see how I process. I think that taking assessments in large groups can really open eyes. You see who you are. You see who others are. Instead of it being a matter of preference or taste, you can see the honest truth about others. No judging, no trying to make them like you! We’re all different. Even the boxes we filled in on these pages can’t truly contain us. God knew what he was doing when he wired us this way. I often wonder about why God made me this way. There are so many things I would have done differently. However, after year of assessments (not tests) I can see myself for who I am. The more comfortable I am with “me”, the freer I am to be “me” – not just by myself, but with others!

The next assessment was super powerful and probably the HIGHLIGHT of my entire weekend! Totally rocked me and almost caused a panic attack! I’ll share that tomorrow, so come back and check it out!

 

The Resignation of Eve by Jim Henderson April 12, 2012

Filed under: Amy's Bookshelf,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 4:14 pm

What if Adam’s rib is no longer willing to be the church’s backbone?

This is the question that Henderson is trying to answer. This book was a compelling read. At times I cheered for the stories that were shared, at times I was frustrated and for some stories, I was just plain broken hearted. Henderson gives three different forms of resignation:

  1. Resigned to – These are the people who feel like things are the way that they are and can’t be changed. They have resigned themselves to doing ministry within these confines.
  2. Resigned from – These are the people who have been frustrated and shut down by the system. They walk away from the church and some from God as a result.
  3. Re-signed – These are the people who know the limitations and frustrations and charge ahead. They have signed up knowing that their ministry is valuable and are working to create change for those who follow.

Henderson uses stories of real women to display each category listed above. The first two categories were the hardest for me. It was hard for me to see women who think they need to be “allowed” to do ministry. Some of them hold the stance that women can’t teach or lead men in anyway (unless they under age 12). Some of them hold very tightly to the verse about women being silent in the church. While these women frustrate me, I can tell they are comfortable with their beliefs and find ways to serve regardless of their limitations. The resigned from category was probably the worst of all. It’s sad to think that capable women are walking away from ministry because of the church. In all honesty, with some of the limitations put on the women in these churches, I’m pretty sure I would leave as well.

My beliefs about women in ministry have been in a very formative state over the last few years. In fact, even in the last 5 years I’ve changed a lot of my views and really gave the issues some thought. When I was in high school, I didn’t think too much about the issue of women in ministry. We had a female pastor on staff at our church and I saw women being valued in ministry, so there wasn’t really an issue in my mind.

As I grew up and went off to Bible College, I learned that not all dominations hold the same views as the Assemblies of God. I also learned that even in Assemblies of God churches there was some disconnect in what the church practiced. For example, the AG will license and ordain female pastors. Up until a year ago, women couldn’t be board members at our church. It was with great wisdom that we looked at our by-laws and made the change. There is a double standard to say that women can be pastors but not board members.

When I was younger, I held to the philosophy that women could be pastors, but not senior pastors. I was told that women are too emotional to hold should a position and that a man should always be the head of the church. I accepted this. I’m not sure why, but I did. Only recently as I went through the licensing and ordination process in the AG did I realize the disconnect in my own thinking. It doesn’t make sense to say we’ll ordain women just like men, but they have certain roles that are off limits to them. In this regard, I am blessed to be a member of the AG because they value women in ministry so highly. I don’t personally feel called to be a senior pastor at this time, but I know if the Lord laid it on my heart, I could. Very few women could say this have this same opportunity.

I think the church misses out when they limit women and what they can do ministry. The church runs the risk of being seen as outdated and unfair in women’s rights. It’s hard for a business woman who operates her own company to be told what she can’t do in the church. The strange thing is that for most churches what women do outside the church isn’t a problem – they can be CEOs for major companies, principals, astronauts… the sky is the limit, but not in the church. This doesn’t feel right to me.

In a lot of ways in all comes down the Scriptures. It’s hard to look past verses like 1 Corinthians 14:34 that says, “Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.” After much study, I personally believe that this verse is closely tied to the cultural context of the time. Paul was addressing an issue in that specific church with those specific women. We see that Paul greatly values women in ministry when he references them in the closing of many of this letters. Paul didn’t write that verse to put women on the bench. He viewed them as key players.

Henderson brought up a point with many of the women he interviewed. While many of them brought up 1 Corinthians 14:34 as the reason for the limitations on women in ministry. Since they didn’t view this as a cultural response, he asked them about head coverings (1 Cor. 11:16 – If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head.) Almost all of them said that this was a cultural reference. Henderson’s question and mine as well is – how do you choose which verse is cultural and which one isn’t? This seems like a double standard to me.

People will probably be arguing about this topic until the Lord comes back. I have in no way scratched the surface of the issue. One of things that give me confidence in my beliefs is how I see Jesus treat women. He never undervalued them. He spoke with them, let them follow him, he love them! I don’t think it was just a coincidence that the first person to see Jesus resurrected was a woman. In a lot of ways, I’m blessed to serve where I am. I know that I am supported by the AG in my ministry and by my hubby who is no way threatened by my own call to ministry. My prayer is that I can step forward and make a way for women in ministry. I want to be a voice telling them that they can do it. It’s not always easy, but when God calls you to something, he will make a way! I believe this!

 

Administrator, Mentor, Party Planner? April 10, 2012

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 7:17 pm

There are a lot of things that I didn’t realize went with the territory of ministry. Yes, I figured where ever I served I would be doing administrative tasks in some form. I’m well organized and I have a mind for details. Over the years, I have felt a stronger call to the pastoral side of ministry as well, but admin is something I know will always be a strength of mine.  When I first saw myself going to into ministry, I thought there could be nothing better than spending my days at the church and investing in people. This is still very true. I love being a mentor and being a part of the lives at Bethel Church. Mentoring is a passion of mine and the students that I get to build relationships with are the highlight of my ministry experience.

However, one thing I really didn’t think through was large event planning.  Working in children’s ministry gives Jeremy and I the opportunity to throw multiple large events each year. Girl’s sleepovers, harvest parties, giant Easter egg hunts are all a part of normal calendar of events for us. Take this weekend for example, nothing like throwing a party for 2,500+ children… The breakdown for this event looks like 60,000 candy filled eggs, pony rides, face painting, balloons, inflatables, petting zoo, prizes and more. Now, let’s be honest, Jeremy and I don’t pull this off all by ourselves – that would be impossible. Days like this involve a team of dedicated volunteers. The planning and prep does land on our shoulders and it’s important to make sure all the details come together. There is a lot that goes into a big day like our Easter Eggstravaganza. After 7 of them we’ve watched it grow and expand. Each year is a little different and each year is a chance for improvement.

Another example of party planning would be the Missionettes Sleepover. This event is fun for me because we have a new theme each year and it gives direction to the crafts, games and decorations. I told Jeremy after our last sleepover that I’m positive that our future children will have the coolest birthday parties because we are so used to planning parties. The crafts at the sleepover are items they can take home to remember the event. The games are fun and run off energy – this greatly enhances the chance of sleep that night. It’s a big party!

The purpose of these big events is to provide fun opportunities for people to come to our campus and see how great it can be. Church shouldn’t be intimidating or scary. It most certainly shouldn’t be boring. These events are open to our people, but they are also extremely invite-able. It gives our congregation something they can bring neighbors and friends to. Not only are they easy to invite people to, but our volunteers get to rub shoulders with the community and share genuine love with visitors. Through our smiles and friendly conversations, we have an open door to share what we believe as a church.

So, did I think that party planner would be high on my list of skills going into ministry? No. It can be overwhelming at times, but mainly it’s just fun. There is a lot of room to dream and get creative. Ministry really lends to a diverse résumé – administrator, organizer, teacher, mentor, large event planner, hall monitor, counselor… The list goes on! I have truly learned to be a jack of all trades. However, I hope that I’m not a master of none. Personally, if given the choice of what I would want to master it would be teacher or mentor. No matter what hat I’m wearing or how many balls I’m juggling, I hope that I can serve with a smile and a willing heart.

 

5/7 Fast Recap April 9, 2012

Filed under: 5/7 Fast — Amy Scott @ 7:08 pm

It’s hard to believe that the five weeks of fasting are over! As I prepare to write this final blog, I’m thinking back to all that has happened in my heart and in my life. The five weeks have gone quickly, but at the same time it seems like that first week was a lifetime ago. My life can get pretty hectic and sometimes all I do is look to the future – planning for this, preparing for that. It would be a waste if I finished these fasts without looking back and remembering. Lessons are not truly learned if they are quickly forgotten.

The funny thing about this fasting experience is the things that I thought were going to be hard turned out to be easy and the things that I thought would be easy turned out to be hard. I guess I didn’t know myself as well as I thought going into this experiment. This hit me right off the bat with week one. I would have never thought the clothing fast would be so hard. I still vividly remember the moment where I almost broke. I still remember how hard to it was to have one pair of socks and shoes. The clothing fast opened my eyes to see how much my appearance really does matter to me. I get so much of my identity for my clothing. I never realized this before. It was humbling.

The second week of the fast was the biggest surprise of this whole experience. I thought it was going to be hard to give away 49 items. I regularly go through my house and donate items. However, when I took the time to evaluate each item I owned, I realized how materialistic I am. I realized how much stuff I had that I didn’t need and wouldn’t miss. Saying good-bye to 310 items was one of my top highlights of this fast.

The third week was the food fast and we all know I struggled with that fast. A lot. More than I should have. I wanted everything that I couldn’t have. My stomach was not used to being denied. I thought I could eat seven foods over and over again with no problem, but really I struggled with my lack of options.  While I never went hungry over the week, I was surprised to find how a limited diet could affect my mood. It was shocking to see how much I thought about food. It was always on my mind. My constant desires for food I couldn’t have was a reminder for me to pray for those who don’t have full bellies and who live on next to nothing.

The media fast was one of my favorite fasts. I loved being able to pull my life away from screens and do tangible things. Read a book, make a cake, clean the house, go to dinner, have a phone date… these were all things that I enjoyed greatly. Not having my laptop and cell phone up and on at all times was freeing. I thought this fast was going to be one of the hardest at the beginning, but it turns out that I was just fine without my media.  In fact, I should go without it more often!

The final fast was a personal choice. I decided not to clean my house for a week. This wasn’t really has hard as I thought it was going to be. I wasn’t feeling great for most of the week and the rest of my time was busy preparing for our big Easter weekend. Not cleaning my house freed up my time for more important things. Around Friday I started to wish I could clean my floors, but I wasn’t really home this weekend so it didn’t get to me too bad. I will admit that I swept and vacuumed today. Now I don’t plan on cleaning the whole day, but it was nice to do something.  Vacuuming was like reconnecting with an old friend.

In closing, I would like to say that the 5/7 Fast really did shift my priorities. It opened my eyes to see my world in a different way. It’s amazing how clearly I could see God moving in my life as I dedicated myself to change. There were many rollercoaster moments with ups and downs, but God was always faithful. He was able to speak to me in ways I never before imagined. I know that I am different as a result. I’m not sure what’s next for me after this experience, but I hope that big things continue to happen. I pray that this won’t be a passing phase, but the spark of true change.

 

One Year April 6, 2012

Filed under: Simply Me — Amy Scott @ 7:04 pm

Today is a special day for me. It’s the one year anniversary of my blogging adventure. This will be my 156th post. When I started this blog, I had a lot of fear. I love to write and I want my voice to be heard, but I’m so worried about what others will think and what I’m “supposed” to say. I told myself when I started this blog that it would be a good outlet for me to express myself in writing. I love to write. I’m passionate about writing. If this year has done anything for me, it has continued to fan into flame my dream to be an author and have a book published. I daydream a lot about what my book will be about… I’m still clueless in that matter. I know I have something I want to say. I just have to decide how to say it and format it. In a lot of ways blogging has been so good for me. In other ways it’s been discouraging.

As I started this journey, I set off thinking that I would freer to say what’s in my head. While this has been somewhat true, I also find that I struggle with my mental filter. What can I say? How honest can I really be? I want to be known, but that means putting myself out there. This has been a hard balance. I truly believe that not every thought needs to be shared with the world. I struggle with life and ministry and faith, but how much can I say before I cross that line? The line where people will think of me differently or feel uncomfortable… I don’t know. I know I mentioned it about a month ago, but God really has been calling me to speak up. Of course, I need wisdom and discernment in my words, but I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want to a wear a mild mannered mask when there is a fire in my soul. I don’t want to sit back, I want to be a part of the conversation. I have lots of thoughts and opinions. In a lot of ways, I’ve felt inferior to others. I assumed that what I had to say was nothing in comparison to what others had to say. I was second string… now I realize that in a lot of ways I’ve put myself into that box. I don’t want to sit on the bench. I want into the game (figuratively, as we all know I’m not one for sports).

At times I’ve told myself it doesn’t matter what I write. Unless I link my blog to Facebook (which I’m not 100% sure I want to do on a regular basis), I get about 5 views a day on my page. Doesn’t really seem like I’m changing the world or anything. The one thing that I have held to is even though my blog might be viewed by only a few, I am still working on my writing skills and finding my voice on the page. This is a positive and something I believe will set me up for future opportunities. All I know is I am a writer and I will continue to write. This year has been a learning experience like no other. I’m continuing to find myself and discovering what makes me tick. I am happy to report that even through the ups and downs of this past year, I am just now starting to be free to be me. My prayer is that I continue to venture out into the world and not hid in my shell.

Here’s to another year of writing and another 156 posts!

 

Personal Fast Update April 5, 2012

Filed under: 5/7 Fast — Amy Scott @ 6:51 pm

I thought I would write a quick update on how I’m doing with my personal fast (not cleaning my house for a week). I honestly thought that this was going to be a hard week for me. Usually I’m pretty OCD with my cleaning schedule… Usually my vacuum is another extension of my arm… Usually I spend an entire day doing household laundry… Not this week and let me tell you, I’m okay with that! I think I can narrow my acceptance down to two reasons:

  1. I’ve always has this need to clean personality. Even has a high school I would dust by room and keep my stuff organized and tidy. When I moved into the dorms at college I suddenly found myself sharing a room with a complete stranger… a stranger who didn’t feel the need to organize like me. My years in college taught me how to look at only my stuff, not the whole space. As long as my part of the room was clean, I was fine. I’m able to do this now as adult. I’m not upset by messes if they are not mine. I can go into any space and not care, unless I’m responsible for it. I think I’m using that same skill this week. I can’t clean my house, so I’m not looking at the mess. Honestly, I’m not a pile person so things really don’t look all that different round my house. Yes, there is stuff on my floors and I randomly feel it under my socks, but I am pretty good at ignoring things I can’t fix. This is helping me through the week.
  2. I have developed some interesting health issues this week… bad headaches, back pain, something is sore in my right foot. I feel like I’m rapidly aging or something. I told Jeremy at this rate I’ll be using a walker next week and drinking Ensure. All this to say… I haven’t been a mobile as I usually am. I try to save my energy for work so I can prep for our big weekend at church. It’s taking all I’ve got to get my work done, so when I’m home, I’m not moving… I’ve been living on the couch or in bed. Maybe God knew that I needed this cleaning fast to help me through this crazy week.

I’m almost 100% sure I’ll clean my house on Monday, at least I’ll vacuum and sweep the floors. The rest of my week is action packed and I won’t be home much, so hopefully I will be distracted and my home will stay in somewhat decent condition. If it doesn’t, I know it’s not the end of the world, it’s only a weekend.  So, yes, this is my update on the cleaning fast. It’s been a good week. My routine is definitely all off, but who cares! Crazy weeks come and go. That’s life. I’m just doing my best to keep moving when I need to be moving and stopping when I don’t!

 

I’m back!!! April 2, 2012

Filed under: 5/7 Fast — Amy Scott @ 2:32 pm

Wishing my hubby a happy post birthday!

Four weeks down, one more to go! This experience with the 5/7 Fast has been amazing. Each week has been eye-opening and this week was no exception.  In a lot of ways this last week has been the easiest fast for me. Here are some thoughts that I jotted down (in a notebook, not on my computer):

  • Because it was such a rainy wet week, I’m pretty sure I heard every raindrop. No longer drained out by the television or the radio, I found myself listening to the rain a lot.
  • I missed music more than I expected. Turns out I like my life to have a background soundtrack. During meals out or walking through stores, I took note of the radio. I often sang along to myself or bobbed my head along with the tune.
  • I didn’t miss my cell phone really at all. I turned it on for less than 5 minutes on Thursday so I could text Jeremy a question. I was waiting for someone I was supposed to be meeting with and I didn’t have their number so I couldn’t contact them directly. I was super nervous about leaving too soon so I texted Jeremy to ask what he thought about my waiting time. The lady arrived before he could text me back so my phone went off immediately without a response.
  • I read a lot this week! 4 books to be exact. I started The Hunger Games Series and let me tell you, they kept my attention! Better than television, my biggest battle was overcoming the strong desire to go see the movie once I finished the books (I’m going tonight)!
  • Starting on Friday and going through the weekend I started to not feel good. When I feel under the weather, I’m usually planted in front of the TV as a way to rest. No such luck for me this week. This was the hardest part of the media fast.

Me and my Peeps cake creation!

It was surprising how easily I filled my time without media. Monday I went out to dinner with my hubby as a post-birthday treat. We did some shopping and had a good time together. Tuesday I made a special cake for my class of girls! My Peeps cake was a lot of fun to make and something I wouldn’t normally tackle. Wednesday I had my class at church per usual. Thursday I had a phone date with my sister in Kansas and then dinner with a mentor from the Assemblies of God Network.  On Friday Jeremy and I ran some errands. He come home and installed a new faucet for our kitchen sink and I steam vacuumed our carpets. Saturday I spent lying down and reading. Sunday I cleaned my whole house (in prep for my cleaning fast this week). When I haven’t been doing an activity, I’ve been reading and my time flew right on by.

The biggest benefit of this week was the quiet. It was great to plug and disconnect from the screens in my life. I didn’t open my laptop for three days and I didn’t miss it. I joked with Jeremy that once the fast was over we would be sitting with our laptops up, our cell phone on with apps running, the television on and the radio playing all at the same time. I’m happy to say that this scene hasn’t happened… at least not yet!  Truthfully, dinner dates and phone dates are so much better than commenting on Facebook. This week felt more real, if that makes sense. Instead of digital, my life was tangible. It was nice. I wouldn’t mind fasting media more often. It was a good week for me to do the things I love to do and connect with people I care about. Apart from the not feeling good portion my week, I would definitely say that this week was a blessing to me. I loved it!