Amy Scott's Thoughts

Sharing the thoughts that bounce around in my brain!

One Year April 6, 2012

Filed under: Simply Me — Amy Scott @ 7:04 pm

Today is a special day for me. It’s the one year anniversary of my blogging adventure. This will be my 156th post. When I started this blog, I had a lot of fear. I love to write and I want my voice to be heard, but I’m so worried about what others will think and what I’m “supposed” to say. I told myself when I started this blog that it would be a good outlet for me to express myself in writing. I love to write. I’m passionate about writing. If this year has done anything for me, it has continued to fan into flame my dream to be an author and have a book published. I daydream a lot about what my book will be about… I’m still clueless in that matter. I know I have something I want to say. I just have to decide how to say it and format it. In a lot of ways blogging has been so good for me. In other ways it’s been discouraging.

As I started this journey, I set off thinking that I would freer to say what’s in my head. While this has been somewhat true, I also find that I struggle with my mental filter. What can I say? How honest can I really be? I want to be known, but that means putting myself out there. This has been a hard balance. I truly believe that not every thought needs to be shared with the world. I struggle with life and ministry and faith, but how much can I say before I cross that line? The line where people will think of me differently or feel uncomfortable… I don’t know. I know I mentioned it about a month ago, but God really has been calling me to speak up. Of course, I need wisdom and discernment in my words, but I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want to a wear a mild mannered mask when there is a fire in my soul. I don’t want to sit back, I want to be a part of the conversation. I have lots of thoughts and opinions. In a lot of ways, I’ve felt inferior to others. I assumed that what I had to say was nothing in comparison to what others had to say. I was second string… now I realize that in a lot of ways I’ve put myself into that box. I don’t want to sit on the bench. I want into the game (figuratively, as we all know I’m not one for sports).

At times I’ve told myself it doesn’t matter what I write. Unless I link my blog to Facebook (which I’m not 100% sure I want to do on a regular basis), I get about 5 views a day on my page. Doesn’t really seem like I’m changing the world or anything. The one thing that I have held to is even though my blog might be viewed by only a few, I am still working on my writing skills and finding my voice on the page. This is a positive and something I believe will set me up for future opportunities. All I know is I am a writer and I will continue to write. This year has been a learning experience like no other. I’m continuing to find myself and discovering what makes me tick. I am happy to report that even through the ups and downs of this past year, I am just now starting to be free to be me. My prayer is that I continue to venture out into the world and not hid in my shell.

Here’s to another year of writing and another 156 posts!

 

One Response to “One Year”

  1. Andrea Vitthum Says:

    If God be my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid. Matthew Henry


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