Amy Scott's Thoughts

For a long time now, we’ve been asked about Owen’s hair. It’s crazy and long and it seemed daily I heard the question, “Are you guys going to cut it?” Jeremy and I joked that we should tell people that we plan for Owen to be a Nazarite. In Hebrew that word means “set apart”. Back in Bible times, if you took a nazarite vow it meant that you wouldn’t cut your hair to show that you are set a part for something special for the Lord. Sampson was a Nazarite. So anyway, we were on our way to having a baby Sampson or, my personal favorite, a baby Fabio. The hair had a personality that spoke for itself. It was wild and untamed. We made the decision to not cut it until after his first birthday. My biggest reason was I didn’t want a dorky haircut to mar the birthday pictures. These are photos that we’ll look back on for a lifetime and I didn’t want to hear about how horrible that first haircut was.

Yesterday was the big day. We made an appointment at a local(ish) hair salon that specialized in cutting kid’s hair. We walked in and luckily we were the only ones in the shop. This made me feel better. If there was going to be an Owen meltdown, at least we wouldn’t have an audience. Owen got to sit in a cool chair that looked like a go-kart. He loved it! It did great through the whole hair cut process and was actually mad when we took him out of the go-kart. The lady that cut his hair worked quietly and fast. You can tell this wasn’t her first rodeo. Since this was the first haircut, I didn’t really want a buzz cut or anything. Owen is only one. I didn’t want him to look a kindergartener. I did tell myself that whatever happened, it was only hair. For better or worse, it will grow out and we can try another style if this first attempt didn’t work.

I’m pleased with the results. I’m glad that I don’t have to push his hair out of his eyes or tucked it behind his ears anymore. I will admit that I do miss the untamed mane. It was so spunky and like I said earlier, it had personality. I’m adapting to the new do and I know that it’s a good change. It will just take a little getting used to. I was so nervous going into the salon that Owen was going to hate the whole experience, so I was massively relieved when Owen had a great time. The whole experience took about 20 minutes. What could have been horrible nightmare turned out to be a great memory. I’m so grateful. Now our little guy doesn’t look so disheveled. I guess I would consider that a parenting win!

Before the haircut! Look at the hairy goofball!

Brave boy getting sprayed down with the water bottle

Trimming things up

The finished result and the happy boy!

I guess we have something to put in the baby box

Happy birthday, Owen!

In what feels like a flash, here we are on Owen’s first birthday! Oh my! We celebrated his birthday this weekend with two parties and over the course of the weekend, I was feeling good because he wasn’t one yet. Officially. We were celebrating, but he was still my baby. But now he is one. I have mixed emotions about the big milestone birthday. Mostly, I am grateful that he has survived us and we have survived him. He has changed so much in the last month, he really is a toddler now. Mainly because he is officially toddling. He is walking and has been pretty steady on his feet for about a week. I had guessed that he would walk before his first birthday and he proved my hunch right. I’m a little sad that he has entered into a new phase. The baby phase felt too short. However, this is an exciting time as Owen learns new things. Walking was a huge accomplishment. I have a feeling his vocabulary is about to take off. Currently, Owen can say Mama, Dada and up. He is getting very good at saying things back to me though. I have heard words like out and bop and pop. Of course there are lots of other jabbery words he says. I’m thinking they might soon make a little more sense. In the back of my mind, I keep telling myself he is still a baby because he can’t talk back at me yet. I keep finding reasons to keep him a “baby”.

Here are a few things that are new with Owen this month. After our Canada trip, Owen was done with car time. He would clap whenever the car stopped as a way to celebrate. He knew that he was going to get out. I find this funny. Now when Owen wakes up in the morning, I hear him saying “up” and I go into his room to see a baby standing and bouncing in his crib. The top of his crib shows where he is a bitten the crib while waiting for me to get him out bed. It took me a while to realize that those dents in the crib and the missing bits of finish were thanks to Owen’s teeth. At this time, Owen has four teeth (two on top and two on bottom) that are very prominent. He has two more on top just breaking through for a total of six teeth in his first year. He is putting those teeth to good use trying everything new. If he sees you eating then he must try what you have. Owen demands that everyone shares with him. He loves to feed himself and gone are the days of feeding him soft foods with a baby spoon. He simply pushes our offerings away. He wants to feed himself, but he isn’t too handy with a spoon quite yet.

Despite his love for feeding himself, Owen was a bit unsure what to do with the cupcakes he was served at his parties. First off, yes, I know two parties might seem like a bit much. Jeremy and I both have large families and it would have been hard to house everyone at the same time. We hosted one at our house for Jeremy’s family and then one at my parent’s house for my family. This saved my out-of-town family a half hour in travel time since they were already making a long trek down for the party. But back to the cupcakes. Owen licked at the frosting, but really didn’t go at it. His first cupcake might have scared him off a bit. We lit a candle and sang to him. Owen went to reach for the flame and Jeremy and I both pounced on him to keep him from the flame and blow out the candle. I think the flurry of excitement scared him and who knows if now he associates cupcakes with being attacked by his parents. I’m sure someday he’ll like them.

Owen did well at the parties despite the interruption to his nap schedule. He showed off his new walking skills and for the most part seemed interested in opening his presents. It was fun to have him be a part of the process because last Christmas we just opened everything for him. This time when it came time to open gifts he could participate. It was a big weekend, but a fun weekend. We’re now snacking on leftover party goodies and marveling that it has indeed been a year since Owen entered our lives.

Owen is a crazy kid! He can be silly and goofy and sometimes he has a short fuse. He wants to see and explore. He is learning new things so fast. He currently loves cars, trains and anything with wheels. He’ll sit in my lap and read books with me. In fact, he knows where his books are located and points at the shelf until I bring them all down. I love that he loves to read. Hopefully this will be a passion that we can share as he grows up. As a watch this little boy toddle around the house, I am amazed. He has the best laugh and the cutest smile. His untamed hair makes me chuckle. There are so many small little details that make this little creature the most lovable and fascinating thing there is. He is just too much. My heart can barely hold it all. I am grateful that this first year is only the beginning of the long journey we have ahead of ourselves. I know that there will be new seasons around the bend – terrible twos, potty training, preschool… Someday he’ll be officially grown up and hopefully set for a life that he loves. Even now, I pray for his salvation. I hope he loves the Lord at a young age and makes him the foundation of his life. I pray for the conversations that we have will have about God and the deeper stuff of life.. I know there is a lot of life – both good and hard – to lived and learned.

I know I say it a lot on this blog, but what a wonderful adventure this year has been and what an amazing adventure still lies ahead! A year… A whole year. It’s mind blowing!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OWEN!

One year ago!

Opening his first present!

Party day! I’m turning one!

First cupcake. He seems unsure.

Make a wish

Exhausted from partying hard

Wearing his new jersey and playing with his new toys!

Owen at almost 2 weeks old

In just two weeks my baby boy will be one. We are right on the edge of the toddler stage and it is mind blowing how fast this first year has gone. Everyone said it would go fast and at first I didn’t believe them. In the newborn haze, I thought sleepless nights seemed endless and that things would never feel normal again. My whole world has turned upside down this last year. Having a baby has changed everything. It’s changed my marriage. It’s changed my job situation. It’s changed my house. Most of all, it’s changed me. Nothing is the same.

When Owen was almost two weeks old, I wrote a blog about how I was adjusting to motherhood. This is a blog much along those same lines… just a little farther down the road. Motherhood has been a hard road. So many times while I’ve been blogging this last year I wanted to sugar coat things so I wouldn’t seem like a terrible person and a horrible mom. Parenting isn’t easy and there is really no way to prepare for being a first time parent. I’ve said it often – it’s one thing to know to something, it’s another thing to actually live it out. Living out motherhood is crazy!!!

Each season with Owen has been a mix of sweetness and frustration. Just when one phase ends, another starts. There is no plateau. I never really feel like I truly “got this”. I’m just doing the best I can. Some days are easier than others. There are no perfect kids. No perfect parents. I’ve learned a lot of lessons over the course of the year, I hope to share a few with you now.

Someone is almost one!

First lesson, parenting takes prayer. More than ever before, my prayer life has turned into a call-out-to-God kind of relationship. I still have quiet times of focused prayer (while Owen naps or I’m driving in the car), but often I’ll be in the thick of a tough moment and I’ll just cry out “God help me”. It can be frustrating when Owen won’t lay still for a diaper or getting dressed or cleaning up after a bath. It can be frustrating when he decides to not eat. It can be frustrating when it he is having a meltdown because I won’t let him into something he shouldn’t be playing with. In these moments, I can feel my own temper rising. I know that it does no good to get mad at a baby, but it’s hard to calm down those emotions when you are tired and doing the best you can. Prayer in those moments invites God into my roughness. I need to calm me down. I don’t want to be an angry mom and sometimes prayer is the only way I can get through. Also, there is a lot I still need to know and grow in. When I pray, often ask God to continue to make me a better mom. I have not arrived and this job is far from over. I need the strength not only for today, but for the long haul. I want to be a good mom now and I want to be a good mom in 18 years. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

I’ve learned about expectations for parents. Before, I just assumed that if parents were really committed to Jesus and their church, they could push through any issues with their child and make things work… I was wrong. I’ve had unrealistic expectations of parents for a long time now and I’ve been officially broken of that. There have been seasons during this first year that going to church with Owen was a struggle. I would want to stay for both gatherings and Owen just couldn’t last 4+ hours at the church. He wasn’t getting a morning nap, he wouldn’t take a bottle, and he wouldn’t stay in the nursery. He hit that age where he was no longer sleeping during service and he wouldn’t stay in the nursery. I felt like there was no point to show up and just leave with an upset baby. However, with each challenging season, I have learned that it will pass and doesn’t last forever. Owen does great in the nursery now, but that fact doesn’t change that it wasn’t always like that. Everything is a balance and sometimes the behavior of the kid does dictate what you can. You can’t force babies to behave because they are church and you are trying to do God’s work and can’t they tell how important that is! Nope. Even now, I’ll have to leave early occasionally because things just aren’t working out. I’ve let myself off the hook and I’m not as upset when the game plan for the day doesn’t pan out.

Being a full time stay at home mom wasn’t my original plan for the year. I took a maternity leave and I went back to work extremely part time. However, so many details went into making that a complicated situation. It would take more time than a blog would allow to dissect that. Let just say, I was broken by the tension. For a while there, I seriously thought I could make no one happy and I was failing at everything. If I couldn’t do things to the standard and the way they’d been done before than I wasn’t good enough. I came back to a very different work situation than the one I had left. I wasn’t keeping up as well as I had hoped. Jeremy never complained, but I knew that a lot of the weight of my position was still on him. There was a lot of flexibility in my job and yet at the same time it was so directly linked to my husband. I wasn’t pulling my weight as the team member I once was to him. The transition from being his full time partner in ministry to being a full time mom has been an interesting. I’m still serving my husband. Just in a different way now. I’m taking care of his house and his son. I’m doing my best to be supportive of him so he can work well and come home and relax. Our partnership has changed so much this year. We’re entering into a new season of our marriage and new season of ministry together. We still don’t have it all figured out, but now that I’m home all the time, I’m not living in the same tension I once was. It was good to let go and simplify life. My truest heart wants a quiet life where I invest deeply in those I love. I’ve come to realize that I might never win masses of people of Jesus, but I have mentored students over the last decade, I have good relationships with my friends and family and now I have the next generation to mold and shape. I still love teaching kids at church and I have my own kiddo to share my voice with. I am in a good place, even if it doesn’t seem like a glamorous career. Plus, I really love the job benefits of wearing sweatpants to work each day! Watching Owen discover this world and continue to grow and change, is such a blessing. I am grateful that I get to dedicate my time to this stay at home business. It’s been a good transition.

I have no idea what the next year will hold for Jeremy, Owen and I. Our little guy has survived one year with us and we’ve survived one year of him. The depth of love that has developed over this year is truly special. I didn’t come into motherhood and instantly love it. It was a true sacrifice and it still is. You give up a lot to be a mom. It’s no longer about me. It’s been a hard adjustment at times, but those smiles, hugs and kisses make it all worth it. I’ve loved watching Owen grow into this almost toddler. I have a feeling I’m going to love the next season just as much. He is a great kid! Being a mom might just be craziest job ever, but with the help of Jeremy and Jesus, I think we’re doing okay!

11 months!

Owen is 11 months old! Where to even begin? It seems like in the last month Owen has grown and changed at a rapid pace. Last month, I was defending that he was still a baby, but now, I agree with Jeremy. Owen is starting to become a little boy. Owen loves to pull himself up on the furniture and walk along it. He can pull himself up on anything these days, even a bare wall. He has skills like Spiderman! He will even now take steps between pieces of furniture if they are close enough. He has learned the hard way that the love seat and the sofa aren’t close enough to cross over yet. With this surge of mobility, Owen is now one giant bruise. Falling down and picking himself up is a new way of life. Most of the time he doesn’t even cry when he falls because he is doing it so often. Jeremy and I have been impressed to see that Owen is standing up and staying up independently now. It’s only for a few seconds at a time, but we know that it’s just the beginning. I have a feeling walking might just be around the corner.

We’ve had to tweak things around the house (again). Owen wasn’t digging the baby fence set-up so we’ve moved the fencing so it covers only the wood stove. Now we just close all the doors and let Owen have free reign of our main living space. As a result, we finally had to finish baby proofing. We now have latches on the cabinets in the kitchen. I’m not thrilled about that, but at the same time, I couldn’t have Owen playing with my glass prep bowls either.  Until door knobs become an option, I think our house is as baby proofed as it’s going to get. There is something nice about letting him roam freely and not having to worry about him getting into anything he shouldn’t.

Owen loves to dance to music. He especially likes theme songs to television shows or the music that his little Scout dog toy plays. He claps while he dances. Owen will also clap when you say “good job”. He is so proud of himself. Since Owen is into everything, we have learned that he can pull the toilet paper off the roll and he can flush the toilet. I told myself this must be a positive thing. If only he was really preparing for potty training! Owen is truly in imitation mode. He wants to do what your doing. He wants to see and wants to try. It was cute while Jeremy was putting latches on the cabinets, Owen was right there with him every step of the way.

This last month we’ve had a boost in the finger foods department. Owen will eat pretty much anything right now if you break it into small enough pieces. He demands that you share your food with him. Current favorites are string cheese, yogurt and the Gerber Lil Crunchies. It’s been a lot of fun to watch the world of food open up for him. Going out to eat is exciting as we share our favorite foods with him and watch his reaction. He really enjoyed tortillas when we went out to Mexican a few weeks ago and he enjoyed a few tastes of clam chowder at Mo’s when we went to the beach. Jeremy made a spaghetti casserole this last week and Owen really enjoyed that as well. Trying new foods is a big part of his life right now.

An one other fun topic before I go… Owen’s hair! Yes, yes, yes! This kid has been blessed with hair! His hair seems to be the thing that everyone talks about first. I’ll be honest, it is a bit crazy. It’s long and curly in the back. It now falls into his eyes. We have tried trimming it in the past, but it grows really fast. He has been confused for a girl because of it and we realize that the first major haircut needs to be around the corner. So for those that are wondering, we have decided to give him a haircut after his 1st birthday. We don’t want to do a horrible job and have his hair look bad for his birthday pictures. Plus, he is only a “baby” for so long and I don’t want to rush him into be being a big boy. So yes, the big haircut is coming. Be patient with us!

Just one month to the big, milestone birthday! We are looking forward to celebrating with family and friends. I’m not quite sure what to expect because this is the first birthday, but I know it will be fun! I’m in planning mode for the festivities. The fall season is one of my favorite seasons. Last fall, I was so occupied with having a baby that I didn’t get to enjoy the season to my usual extent. I’m planning a few fall outings for the next couple of months. I can’t wait to share these things with Owen. I’m enjoying these baby days while they are here. He is certainly becoming a big boy mighty quick!