Amy Scott's Thoughts

It wasn’t even a full half hour after I had posted yesterday when I remember yet another thing I was going to give away. It’s simple math really. What happens when Jeremy and Amy purge 102 items of clothing? You end up with 58 empty hangers! Doesn’t 58 hangers sound excessive to you? It does to me! So 2 dozen hangers have been added to the bags that are piled up in my computer room. 34 hanger still seems excessive, but I’m waiting to see if I feel like giving more away as the week goes on. This seems to be my habit. Hangers are pretty cheap so on the off chance I get rid of too many, I know that it wouldn’t be the end of the world to get more. We’re not talking about a car or a flat screen TV. (Ugh, what if God called me to get rid of one of those – I would for sure be seen as a radical. Pretty sure that my husband’s eye is twitching as he reads this. Don’t worry, hubby, I would ask you first.)

As I mentioned I am keeping a giant pile of bags in my computer room. I don’t want to rush off and give my stuff away ASAP. I’m not being lazy, I’m giving myself time to add more. I’m hoping that each day I will be able to add more to the piles. I also don’t want this week of fasting to be something I breezed through in 2 days. I see the pile in my computer room and I am reminded of how the Lord has blessed me. I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t give me all this excess. It was partially my fault. I doubt God thinks, “I’m going to give Amy so much stuff that she will be totally comfortable with life, find her security in her possessions and not have to trust me in the process.” I’m crazy if I think excess is a blessing. I should really view it as a curse. Anyway, all this to say, I hate clutter. I hate things feeling undone. Leaving a pile of bags in the middle of my room is an act of obedience not to rush through this fast. It’s a visual reminder to keep going, to be thankful and to think of others.

Tonight and tomorrow I plan on opening more drawers than I did on Monday. I plan on looking over my books and movies. I think those two categories are going to be hard to purge from. It’s easy to give way stuff you haven’t used in a while like a towel, but a movie or a book is something that I might want to watch or read later. Honestly, I get pretty connected to my books and almost treat them like friends. However, after my Christmas/Birthday book buying spree, I am yet again out of space on my bookshelf. The American way would be to buy another bookshelf…but I don’t want to keep the cycle of excess going. This is going to be hard. Please don’t make fun of me if my book “purge” consists of two books. I’m going to try. Jesus will need to help me. I don’t want to be so tied to stuff – even stuff I like… even stuff I love.

New total – 205 items leaving the Scott household!

Where to start? Should I start by saying that I wore 7 different items of clothing to work today? That was bliss! I came home and put on my sweats and I now have a lot more comfy clothes to choose from. Those items are truly the friends I missed in my wardrobe. Okay, I’ll admit it; I missed a lot of things in my wardrobe this last week – comfy clothes and professional clothes alike.  My stinkin’ attachment to stuff really came out this week!

However, I am happy to say that I’ve done a great purging in my wardrobe. When I got home from work today I continued to the great giveaway that I started last week. I know that was “ahead of schedule” but I was so excited last week that I started sorting my giveaway clothes while I had momentum. I think the great thing about having a week to think about this fast is I gave away a bit at the beginning of last week and then as the week went on I decided that I could let go of more than I had already sorted. Each day last week 2-3 more items went into bags. Slowly I was giving things up. My eyes were opening and suddenly what I wanted to keep the day before was now something I wanted to get rid of. Today was the final day I was going to give to my clothing. I am proud to say that I have removed 60 items of clothing. That is a 20% decrease! For some reason that moves me in a way I never expected. The joy I have in giving away my possessions is astounding.

Now, Jeremy went through his clothes and came up with a total of 249 for his complete wardrobe. He decided to giveaway 42 articles of clothing during this possessions fast. He is always giving away 7+ k-cups to reach his 49 items. I guess this would be a good time to mention that this week we have been challenged to give away 7 items a day for 7 days. At first I thought I couldn’t come up with 49 items. I’m an anti-clutter person and I regularly give things away to Goodwill to keep my home from being taken over by stuff. In my mind I had nothing to give away really… That assumption was WRONG!

Along with the 60 clothing items I am giving away, I am also giving away 72 household items. The picture I have included is actually of 62 of those items. While typing this and I remember that I wanted to give away some of our towel surplus, so I just ran to our bathroom linen closets and added a total of 10 more items to our bags. Here are a few stats I thought you mind find interesting:

• 181 items being purged from the Scott household (who knows, that number might still be growing, we’ll see). I am beyond excited for this giveaway! Kiss the excess good-bye!
• I discovered that I have 26 pillowcases in my home. We own 9 pillows. Does anyone think this is a little disproportionate? Now that 9 pillows still remain – 4 for Jeremy and I’s room, 4 for the guestroom, and one extra, but I have cut that pillowcase number in half!
• 181 items looks like 7 garbage bags full and 4 paper bags (not full due to weight). Random thought, wouldn’t it be cool to weigh all these bags to see how much weight our house lost?
• My new wardrobe total is 236; Jeremy’s new total is 207 (17% decrease).
• We contemplated adding our dog to the possessions fast. While this was a joke, I reminded Toby to be good this week because everything in our house to open for discussion. I truly meant everything!!!

I know Jeremy was really worried about this possessions fast when I got so excited about it. I’m sure he thought he would come home to an empty house. I like my stuff. That is for sure. However, I can see the excess and I think it’s important to purge when it’s proper. I think this was a proper time for that. This fast really pushed me to look past what I think I need. I assumed that I would have nothing to give, but it turns out that I had way more than I expected. I wonder how many other areas of my life I just “assume” that things are fine. These 5/7 Fasts along with reading Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Aganist Excess by Jen Hatmaker are really calling all my good intentions into question. I’m not assuming anymore! I’m doing something and it feels good! Better than expected! For those who are hesitant, let me tell you – the water is fine! Jump in!

The World's Smallest Load of Laundry!

I did the unthinkable last night. Jeremy and I had washed our clothes at separate times. Jeremy asked me as he started his load if there was anything I wanted to add. I said no. I forgot that I was still wearing my socks. As I prepared for bed last night, I realized that I still had my socks on. Jeremy told me not to worry about it. I would have plenty of time to wash them with my pajamas and they would be ready for my evening activities. I pondered this and decide that deep down inside I knew I would need fresh clean socks in the morning. There was no way I could wait to have them. They must be washed right then and there! So I started the world’s smallest load of laundry – two socks. Putting the wash size on small wasn’t even accurate. I wish there was extra teeny tiny amazingly small mode on my washing machine. It would make me feel less guilty about the water used to clean my two socks. I was able to throw my sock into the dryer for the last bit of Jeremy’s load that was drying. This made me feel slightly better since I wasn’t drying two socks by themselves. Oh the justification!

I’m sure you know what is coming next in this story, imagine a sleepy Amy waking up. Her feet are cold and is delighted to remember that she washed her socks last night just for this moment. Amy stumbles out of bed and makes her way to the dryer. She opens the dryer and finds her perfectly clean green socks sitting there, just waiting for her. Amy puts her socks on and there is the sound of harps playing from heaven. Amy is relieved that she did that amazingly small load of laundry. It was all worth it!!!

NOT!!!! I haven’t even put my socks on this morning. The house is warm and my feet are quite fine under my blanket on the couch. I seriously thought I was going to need my socks ASAP in the morning, but it turns out I didn’t. I feel a bit sheepish at this moment. Let’s chalk this up to another 5/7 Fast Learning Experience. They seem to be happening often. Oh goody!

One more thing I feel compelled to share, it dawned on me last night that I have articles of clothing in the garage that I didn’t count in my total. I rarely if ever use these items since the garage is my husband’s domain. I only go in there to get in and out of my car. So my new total is 296 – must add 2 pairs of work shoes, one pair of apple rain boots, and a pair of gardening gloves (I’m positive I have only used the gloves once in my entire life, but since they only fit my small hands they are labeled “Amy’s gloves” and I must count them even though I dislike them greatly and the chances of me using them again are slim). I am happy to report that I plan on removing a portion of my wardrobe next week for the possessions fast. I don’t have to live with the number 296 for very long. Praise the Lord!!!

Okay, it’s been a roller coaster week! As many of you have witnessed from my blog and conversations with me in person, you can tell that I’ve struggled with this 5/7 Fast. I have admitted that I was at the point of breaking on Wednesday. However, I am pleased to find that after almost giving up, I’m reaching a point of acceptance. The situation is what it is. I’m not going to to give up and so I have moved on to acceptance. Part of this might be due to the fact that my week is over halfway over. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I wonder if I would have reached acceptance so quickly if this was a month instead of a week? Oh well, I’m shouldn’t waste my thoughts on “what ifs”… Maybe someday I will embrace a month, but at this moment, a week is all I can handle.

Today has probably been easier because it is my day off. I’ve been in pajamas almost the entire day. I washed them and went to the movies (in my jeans and my t-shirt), but other than that I’ve been home and in my jammies. I am comfortable. I have socks on. I have heaters and blankets and no one assessing my outfit. Truthfully, very few people probably really care about what I wear. I know it’s all in my head. It’s all about how I view me. At home, in my pajamas, I feel free to be me. I am not justifying and judging within the walls of my home. It’s a bit of sanctuary. I wonder if that is what is keeping me from going over the edge and calling me back to what feels like sanity.

This afternoon was a big step though for my hubby. He is such a go with the flow kind of a guy that I don’t really feel like this week has bothered him the way it has me. He has shown no sign of inconvenience. He has not whined, complained, moaned or groaned at all. I am impressed and slightly worried. However, today he had what I would call his first clothing interruption. He wanted to pressure wash our driveway. Since he currently only has one pair of shoes he wanted to avoid them getting soaking wet. He still had errands to run today. There wasn’t time to let them dry. My hubby is super resourceful. He is the kind of guy that can make a make-shift anything to meet his needs. Good survival skills. So in the midst of a clothing fast, Jeremy decided to continue his planned to-do list while avoiding getting wet. The solution to his problem was garbage bags and rubber bands. He covered as much of his legs as possible with the bags and held them in place with rubber bands. I had to document this sight as you can see. As I was closing the door to the house and letting him return to his task, I heard him say something about missing his waders. I guess garbage bags weren’t his first choice for water protection. Times like this call for creativity and my hubby has it!

Now that I’m reaching a place of acceptance, I am reviewing the whole week and I am amazed at how the Lord has shown up this week. His presence has been undeniable in my life. Not all my major God moments have been related to the fast, but at the same time I wonder if that is really true. Maybe the fast has opened me up in a new way. Maybe my boldness has come from rising to the challenge of new situations. I am not sure how it’s all related, but I do know that God is active and moving. I can see his fingerprints all over this week. It’s been phenomenal. I wouldn’t change a single moment. God is good!

Yes, that’s me! I’ll admit that I am LWC – limited wardrobe challenged! At the beginning of this fast I thought a week was going to be easy. It wasn’t a month like the book, it was just a week. How hard can a week be? I am confessing that it has been harder than I thought. The romantic notions of thinking of others above myself has faded a bit and in certain moments I will admit to almost breaking.

Okay, let’s dive into the point where I almost snapped. I’m OCD when it comes to things being clean. I have to combat my tendencies to keep things spotless at all times. This plays a lot into my home and workspace, but I’m learning it also plays into my personal perception of myself. Once more my clothes are seen as a projection of who I am. Follow this train of thought, if my clothes are dirty than I am dirty. In my neat freak mind that is so not okay! I wouldn’t say I’m overly messy or accident prone… but with only two shirts, I get deeply upset when I get one shirt dirty before I planned to wash it. Yesterday, I spilled some flavored water on my t-shirt while I was baking and cleaning the house. I was praying that it would dry like “normal” water so I didn’t need to wash it until I had planned. It dried leaving a mark and I knew I need to wash my t-shirt sooner rather than later. This impromptu wardrobe change really messed up my clothing plan for the day. At one point, I was just a few feet away from my closet and all I could think about was WHY am I doing this!!! I have a ton of clean clothes just a few feet away and yet I’m putting myself through all this! I was close… so close to breaking down. Honestly, the reason why I didn’t give in wasn’t a holy one. I didn’t think of third world countries or those without. I thought about how I would be disappointed in myself and I wouldn’t want to hear about how others were disappointed in me. I didn’t want to give up and be seen as a quitter. That is way I am still doing this. I’m going to see it through. Even though it has been harder than expected, if others can do this, so can I!

Here are couple more thoughts that I have written down over the last couple of days:

• I talked with my mother-in-law about the feeling of guilt that comes from doing so many loads of laundry. I’m not talking about the feeling of guilt for running a small load or so many loads, but the fact that other people in other countries don’t have the option to just throw things into the washing machine. If I had to wash my clothes in the bathtub or a river, I might wear my clothes a little longer before I declared them dirty and decided to wash them.
• I have already started the purging process. I know this is in advance for next week’s possessions fast, but I have the motivation to get rid of stuff now. I’m going with that motivation and letting it drive me. I’ve already decided to give away 44 items and I know that there is more I can do. I feel called to give beyond the 49 items next week. This inspiration really comes from seeing my excess and a brave friend who is literally cutting her wardrobe in HALF as a result of this week. I’m so impressed with her response!
• For my Wednesday night class we have monthly dress-up days. This month’s dress-up day was crazy hat or scarf day. Now it just happen to fall over the clothing fast. I decided I wasn’t going to bring any scarves or hats to class and I was going to explain that we had to postpone our dress up day. Now some girls forgot about the dress up day, but no one showed up with a hat or scarf. One of the girls said she decided she couldn’t do it because of the fast. I was blown away to see that the girls were really thinking about this fast and taking it seriously. They weren’t going to take part in a dress up day if it made them break the fast. I’m so proud of them! We had a lot of good conversations out of doing this experience together.

Overall, I am so blessed by the many conversations I’ve had about the fast. I’ve been able to talk with a lot you who are doing this and it’s been strengthened to hear your struggles and triumphs. I appreciate the honesty when you tell me that it’s been hard. If everyone was saying this was a piece of cake then I would wonder what is wrong with me. I’ve been able to relate to your struggles. Thank you for sharing them. I’ve also been inspired by the way that many of you are taking action and making life change as a result.Let’s keep talking! Let’s keep encouraging and challenging each other. When we are united we can do more!

I’m keeping a journal and jotting down thoughts from time to time about this 5/7 Fast. I thought I would share with you some of the thoughts that have bounced around in my head thus far:

• I did a load of laundry yesterday with clothes that I wore over the weekend. Washing and putting clothes away that I couldn’t wear was tough. It reminded me that I was limited in my choices.
• I wasn’t planning on washing my sweatshirt yesterday, but I got a smudge of door jam grease on it. Normally I would just throw another jacket on, but I had to go to dinner with a mark on my sweatshirt. Jeremy told me that calling a smudge on my sweatshirt a problem sounded really prissy. Guess what… I’m prissy. I admit it.
• I decided to wash my socks with my shirt and jeans last night so I had no socks for the rest of the evening. My feet did get cold. I longed for my socks, but decided that I would prefer fresh socks in the morning. I wonder if I will break down toward the end of the week and just accept that I’ll be wearing recently washed socks, not always fresh.
• This morning I started to feel uncomfortable because a lot of the staff have chosen two different shirts to wear to work and I have only chosen one. It’s amazing how with only 7 items of clothing, I’m still comparing myself to others and judging myself on how they look verses how I look. REALLY??? I am shallow.
• This morning I was hit by the fact that I like my stuff. I get security from my stuff. The more clothing options I have the more secure I feel in my appearance. Being stripped of my options is showing me where I put my trust. Just like the passage in Luke 12 that Pastor Kyle preached on Sunday, I don’t want to have closets (barns) full of clothes (crops) and lose sight of the true purpose in life. Before this challenge I would have told you I’m not materialistic. I’m realizing just how materialistic I am… scary!

I started to think through this whole excess thing in other areas of my life… towels, dishes, blankets. I felt totally justified in buying another set of dishes 2 weeks ago, because Jeremy and I would use up all our dishes before the dishwasher was full enough to run it. Instead of washing small loads in the dishwasher or hand washing my dishes, I bought more dishes (for convenience). I’m sure people in other parts of the world would be blown away by having roughly 12 place settings of dishes (slightly less when you consider my hubby and I have broken a few pieces). On top of that, I’m sure it would be above and beyond their wildest dreams to have them washed in a dishwasher. It is crazy how fasting clothing is filtering into other areas of my life. This isn’t just about clothes. So much to think about… Yikes!

The Work Outfit

This will sort of be like a blog fashion show! Except NOT super glamorous or glitzy. I thought I would show you how I am choosing to use my 7 items of clothing this week. I will admit that I felt weird wearing my polka dot top with my sneakers. This is a combination that I’m sure I’ve never worn before. It was raining quite hard at the beginning of today and I felt weird using just my North Face sweatshirt. It’s not waterproof, so it did get wet and need to dry a bit after I’d been outside. Today I got to be a guest reader at one of our local elementary schools and I felt a bit strange holding my sweatshirt in my hands (I took it off before entering the classroom so I would look more professional). Normally I would have worn a nicer jacket when meeting new people and representing my church.

The After Work Outfit

Other things have popped into my head as the day has gone along… I tidy my house on Monday afternoons and I usually do this while wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. I usually change after I get home from work into my cleaning clothes. Once I’m done cleaning, I’ll change again into what I would wear for the evening – like tonight I have a dinner date with a student so I would wear a more relaxed outfit. I want to keep my t-shirt nice and clean for dinner tonight so that leaves me the option of cleaning the house in my work shirt. That’s something I’ve never done before.

I’ve also contemplated what to do about my socks. If I wash them with my work clothes than I can’t wear them with my pajamas in the evening. I guess I could wash them, wear them for the remainder of my evening and then put them back on again in the morning. However, I think I would like fresh socks in the morning, not just recently washed socks. If I wash my sock separately before bed (which seems like a waste of a load of laundry) will I remember to move them into the dryer… should I wait to wash all my clothes right before bed so socks can be included and the load is fuller… I guess I’ll find out tonight and let you know what I decided.

The Night Time Outfit

One more thing I’ve noticed, I normally have slip on shoes by the door so I can take my little dog out during the afternoon and evening. My one pair of shoes for the week has laces… no easy slip on and off. Toby had to go the bathroom just about 15 minutes ago. I got up and untied my shoes and left them untied as I got them on my feet. The entire time that I’m doing this Toby is dancing around me and the door as if he was saying “Hurry up!!! I gotta go!!!” I was moving as quickly as possible, but with laces these shoes just aren’t as easy to get on quickly.

Here are the first of my thoughts on the 5/7 clothing fast! I am sure that I will have many more insights to share! Seriously, I haven’t even been doing this an entire day yet! Since I work at the church, I assume that most of the staff will be taking part in the fast. We have a morning meeting where we pray together daily. I looked around the room today and thought about how this is what we are going to look like all week. It will be odd to see us all coming to work in the same outfit each day. It’s going to be interesting week!

The main thought I want to take away from today is – my identity is not in my clothing! I might be told I need to look a certain way, but truthfully, I am more than the style of clothes I choose to wear.

Lent is the season leading up to Easter where in the catholic church you choose to give something up for that period of time – a fast. While Bethel Church is not catholic, we are taking part in lent in a way… a different way. Instead of fasting the same thing for the next 40 days, we are going to be fasting 5 different things for 7 days. So for the next 5 weeks my life is going to look a little unique. We’ve been encouraged to journal our experiences with the 5/7 Fast, so I figured blogging is one of the best ways to do that! Now each week the fast will look different, but this week will be clothing. I know, let your mind go there for a minute. I bet you’re thinking that I’m going to be very cold and very inappropriate this week! Okay, not like that!!! I will wear clothes, but I will wear only 7 pieces of clothing for 7 days (undergarments do not count in the total – can I get an AMEN). The book that this fasting experience is based off is called 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. She decided that for 7 months she would do 7 different things to get rid of the excess in her family’s life and bring the focus back on to things that really matter. I can’t imagine doing each of these fasts for an entire month. 7 pieces of clothing is going to be hard enough for one week!

Jen counted her clothing and discovered that she had 327 items in her wardrobe. When I first heard that number I thought “Wow, that is excessive. I don’t have that many clothes.” Well, I felt convicted to count my own clothing before I started this journey  (tomorrow will be the first day of my clothing fast). I have part of a walk-in closet and I have a dresser. Just looking at my closet and dresser you would think that I don’t have a lot of clothes… compared to some… but I guess it’s all comparison. What might seem like not a lot to some is a lot to others… like people in third world countries.

I started to count my clothing and came to a place where I struggled. Do I count hats, scarves, and gloves? To me these are accessories and not “clothing”. My mind went to places in the world that are cold and where people need these items on a regular basis. I think if you asked a child who was freezing in another country if a scarf was clothing, they would probably say yes. Same thing with gloves or hats. I knew at that moment I needed to add these items to my list. They are not just accessories they are necessities to some.

I am boldly going to share my findings with you – you might think it’s crazy that I have so much of some items, but I’m just being honest and I think you’d be surprised how things would add up in your own closet. So here is the break down of my wardrobe:

• 22 jackets/sweatshirts
• 17 dresses/skirts
• 5 vests
• 11 sweaters
• 41 shirts (not counting t-shirts)
• 8 tank tops
• 6 pairs of dress pants
• 8 scarves
• 8 hats
• 9 pairs of gloves
• 13 camisoles
• 27 t-shirts
• 4 pairs of sweatpants
• 9 pairs of jeans
• 4 pairs of shorts
• 3 pairs of capri pants
• 16 pairs of pajama pants
• 30 pairs of socks
• 16 pairs of shoes
• 30 undergarments
• Grand Total of 292 pieces of clothing

I couldn’t believe it! I was slightly relieved to see that my total was under 300, but not by much! Going from 292 options to 7 will be an interesting experiment. I’ve been giving my 7 items a lot of thought and I figured I would share with you why I picked each piece.

1. North Face Sweatshirt – It’s warm and comfy. It also has a hood. This might seem silly but the Washington rain really messes up my hair so if I don’t want to look like a drowned rat all week I’ll need something with a hood. The compromise is that this jacket isn’t waterproof. I really struggled with this sweatshirt or my waterproof Columbia jacket. Overall I decided for warmth and comfort this was the best pick.
2. Polka Dot Shirt – I decided this shirt because it is nice enough to wear to work. It is also modest enough that I don’t need another layer (like a camisole) to wear with it. I layer with so many of tops that I needed a shirt that could be fine all on its own.
3. Jeans – My favorite pair of jeans (enough said)
4. Nike sneakers – This was another category I had a hard time with. I realize that sneakers aren’t going to match my work shirt the greatest, but I can only wear one pair of shoes the entire week so they better be comfortable. I like the boots I wear to work, but wearing them the entire week made my wardrobe too formal – with sneakers I can dress my outfit down a bit and not have to stay in work attire the entire week.
5. Chicago T-shirt – This is my favorite t-shirt at the moment. It’s navy which is my favorite color to wear and matches the two other items I am about to list. I like the fact that I have a t-shirt that I can change into after work and not be dressed up for hanging out with students or at home. This t-shirt will go well with my sneakers and it wouldn’t go well my dress shoes.
6. Pajama pants – I can’t live without pajama pants. They are comfy and I knew that some how I needed to work them into my list. I will wear my pajama pants and t-shirt while I wash my work outfit.
7. Socks – They match my pajama pants and add a pop of color to my very navy/gray choices. I know that there will be a period of time where I will have to go barefoot so I can wash my socks, but I guess with blankets and heaters, I should be fine.

This week will be challenging for me in a couple of ways. My wardrobe doesn’t completely match – I’ll have mix what I view as comfort items with professional items. Normally I have two different wardrobes, my work one and my home one. I’m OCD and things that don’t go together like my work shirt and sneakers are going to have to for this week. Another challenge is I normally have 3 outfits a day – my work one, my evening one, and my pajamas. Usually I’ll come home and get into sweats before I change into my pajamas. If I want to get into my comfy clothes, I’m going straight to pajamas – even if that means changing into them at 4:00pm. The last thing that I think will be a challenge is that I have items that make me feel good – like my Tillamook sweatshirt. I decided that it wasn’t the most practical thing for the week, but I love it. It makes me feel happy. I’m actually wearing it today since I know that I won’t be wearing it again for a while. My sweatpants will be another comfort item I’ll miss. There are lot of clothes that I know I will miss this week. These are the challenges I think I will have. I’m interested to see if they really will bother me or not. I wonder what other things will come up from this challenge! I’ll be documenting and sharing the journey, so stay tuned!