Amy Scott's Thoughts

Well, it’s official. Every drawer, cabinet, dresser, closet has been opened in my house. When I started this week, I told myself that nothing was off-limits. I was going to evaluate everything. I will admit that this has taken a lot of brain power. It would be easier not to evaluate it all, but this fast experience isn’t about easy. As result of putting everything under the microscope, I am happy to say that I had more to purge than I thought. I am blown away by what God has done this week. He has given me eyes to see my excess and the ability to let go out. Don’t worry! Jeremy’s biggest fear didn’t come true. We still have furniture. We’re not sleeping on the floor with one blanket. We will still live very comfortable lives. It’s shocking to think I can give away so much and still HAVE so much.

My unusual jewelry tin!

Yesterday, I went through my crafts supplies and stationary. I was able to remove 35 items from my guest room closet. Yay! This moved my total up to 277. Less than 30 items away from 300, I prayed that God would give me the ability to see more. I thought for sure I was done. But I like even numbers and 300 stood out in my mind as the goal I should set.  Last night, I had the thought – I should go through my jewelry. Now I’m not a big jewelry person… I keep my jewelry in a Curious George tin in my night stand. It’s so untraditional and small. Most women would be flabbergasted by its size. I was delighted to find that I was able to get rid of 15 items from that tin.

Not quite to the 300 items I felt God had laid on my heart, I tried to brainstorm another area of my house to look through. In a lot of ways the kitchen was off limits in my mind (I had already given away dishes, so that counted as kitchen in my mind). I haven’t reached the “cooking” stage of my life yet. I microwave a lot of things and I eat a lot of cereal. Some items I received from my wedding have yet to be used… Terrible, I know! I have a dream that some day when I’m a parent, that I’ll be the kind of mom/wife that makes dinner and has it on the table for the family. This might just be a dream, but I don’t want to get rid of something that I might see in the future for cooking that ideal family meal. However, once I started to open my drawers and cabinets, I realized that were was a lot of miscellaneous stuff I could part with. I’m so glad that I pushed myself to keep going!

Now before I give the total, let me share just a few more things with you. When you go through everything in your house, you have a great chance to organize things. This was a very good opportunity to spring clean… or I guess it would be more accurate to say spring sort. I love the feeling that things have been pared down and are now all neatly organized in my home.

14 bags and one ball!

A lot of people have asked me what I am going to do with all my stuff now that it is in bags in my computer room. I plan to give it away to three different sources. The first is a garage sale to benefit a community member who has been diagnosed with cancer. The second is to the MOPS group who meets at our church. They also have a big garage sale as a fundraiser at the end of the month. The last is families who have requested certain things. I’m really looking forward to this phase of the fast just as much as the purging phase!

Okay, the moment you’ve all been waiting for and probably read ahead to see!!! We have 14 bags full of stuff in our computer room and one exercise ball (it’s still inflated so it doesn’t fit in a bag). The final total after going through my entire house is 310 items! Not only did God help me reach my goal, but he gave me extra! It’s only because he opened my eyes that these items are now in that pile. I thought I had nothing to give. I was wrong.

Saying good-bye to 20 of my books!

Yesterday I mentioned how I was going to attempt to give away some of my books. I went down the hallway to my bookshelf with a knot in my stomach. Could I really do this? Part of me screamed no. I decided that just like items of clothing, I needed to count my books. I needed to know the truth. To say I had “some” books lying around my house wasn’t going to cut it. My total of books was 260. Now combined with books that I would call “Jeremy’s” we have 309 books total in our house. Most of Jeremy’s books are in his office at work, so that 309 isn’t really the extent of books owned by Jeremy & Amy Scott. However, I would say I am personally responsible for 260 and I have made them my friends. I love them. They are the treasures I am storing here on earth. I’ve always thought that one day it would be cool to have my own library – a room completely dedicated to my books. After reading 7 and doing these fasts, suddenly that idea seems like a whole lot of excess (an alter to my book idol).

There I sat before my bookshelf. I prayed. I prayed that God would help me give. I don’t want something to be off-limits in my home. If Jesus asked for it, I want to give it in a heartbeat. I know this might seem dramatic, but I am very connected to my books. I’m not saying this is right.  I was able to part with 20 books (ironically this is a 7.7% decrease – I’m sticking with the theme here). It was an odd assortment, but I was ready to let go. I knew I needed to do it. I will be honest, I cleared space on my bookshelf, but I will fill again. It might take a year or two, but I will be doing this again.  This process is not a one-time thing. Interesting fact, I have more books than I have clothes. I am very okay with this.

After books, I moved on to movies. The numbers came back 54 seasons of shows and 115 movies. I was able with Jeremy’s permission to let go of 1 show and 15 movies. Another causality of the movie closet was Fred. He is an athletic ball that my parents purchased a long time ago (like 10+ years). He was given to me because I loved him and then he sat in my closet. For a ball that I loved enough to give a name, I sure wasn’t showing him much time. It was a hard choice, but Fred is now in the pile.

I am humbly sharing these numbers with you. Not because I want you to think “Wow, Amy has a lot of stuff” or “Look at how much Amy is giving.” I’m finding I don’t accurately know my stuff (my excess). It’s easy to say I have a “few” of those or “some” of these, but when I number something I really get to know it. There is no hiding behind ambiguous statements. I’m not a fan of numbers. They bother me most of the time. From what I can tell this week they still do. So in the ever growing total – 242 items departing from the Scotts.

It wasn’t even a full half hour after I had posted yesterday when I remember yet another thing I was going to give away. It’s simple math really. What happens when Jeremy and Amy purge 102 items of clothing? You end up with 58 empty hangers! Doesn’t 58 hangers sound excessive to you? It does to me! So 2 dozen hangers have been added to the bags that are piled up in my computer room. 34 hanger still seems excessive, but I’m waiting to see if I feel like giving more away as the week goes on. This seems to be my habit. Hangers are pretty cheap so on the off chance I get rid of too many, I know that it wouldn’t be the end of the world to get more. We’re not talking about a car or a flat screen TV. (Ugh, what if God called me to get rid of one of those – I would for sure be seen as a radical. Pretty sure that my husband’s eye is twitching as he reads this. Don’t worry, hubby, I would ask you first.)

As I mentioned I am keeping a giant pile of bags in my computer room. I don’t want to rush off and give my stuff away ASAP. I’m not being lazy, I’m giving myself time to add more. I’m hoping that each day I will be able to add more to the piles. I also don’t want this week of fasting to be something I breezed through in 2 days. I see the pile in my computer room and I am reminded of how the Lord has blessed me. I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t give me all this excess. It was partially my fault. I doubt God thinks, “I’m going to give Amy so much stuff that she will be totally comfortable with life, find her security in her possessions and not have to trust me in the process.” I’m crazy if I think excess is a blessing. I should really view it as a curse. Anyway, all this to say, I hate clutter. I hate things feeling undone. Leaving a pile of bags in the middle of my room is an act of obedience not to rush through this fast. It’s a visual reminder to keep going, to be thankful and to think of others.

Tonight and tomorrow I plan on opening more drawers than I did on Monday. I plan on looking over my books and movies. I think those two categories are going to be hard to purge from. It’s easy to give way stuff you haven’t used in a while like a towel, but a movie or a book is something that I might want to watch or read later. Honestly, I get pretty connected to my books and almost treat them like friends. However, after my Christmas/Birthday book buying spree, I am yet again out of space on my bookshelf. The American way would be to buy another bookshelf…but I don’t want to keep the cycle of excess going. This is going to be hard. Please don’t make fun of me if my book “purge” consists of two books. I’m going to try. Jesus will need to help me. I don’t want to be so tied to stuff – even stuff I like… even stuff I love.

New total – 205 items leaving the Scott household!

Where to start? Should I start by saying that I wore 7 different items of clothing to work today? That was bliss! I came home and put on my sweats and I now have a lot more comfy clothes to choose from. Those items are truly the friends I missed in my wardrobe. Okay, I’ll admit it; I missed a lot of things in my wardrobe this last week – comfy clothes and professional clothes alike.  My stinkin’ attachment to stuff really came out this week!

However, I am happy to say that I’ve done a great purging in my wardrobe. When I got home from work today I continued to the great giveaway that I started last week. I know that was “ahead of schedule” but I was so excited last week that I started sorting my giveaway clothes while I had momentum. I think the great thing about having a week to think about this fast is I gave away a bit at the beginning of last week and then as the week went on I decided that I could let go of more than I had already sorted. Each day last week 2-3 more items went into bags. Slowly I was giving things up. My eyes were opening and suddenly what I wanted to keep the day before was now something I wanted to get rid of. Today was the final day I was going to give to my clothing. I am proud to say that I have removed 60 items of clothing. That is a 20% decrease! For some reason that moves me in a way I never expected. The joy I have in giving away my possessions is astounding.

Now, Jeremy went through his clothes and came up with a total of 249 for his complete wardrobe. He decided to giveaway 42 articles of clothing during this possessions fast. He is always giving away 7+ k-cups to reach his 49 items. I guess this would be a good time to mention that this week we have been challenged to give away 7 items a day for 7 days. At first I thought I couldn’t come up with 49 items. I’m an anti-clutter person and I regularly give things away to Goodwill to keep my home from being taken over by stuff. In my mind I had nothing to give away really… That assumption was WRONG!

Along with the 60 clothing items I am giving away, I am also giving away 72 household items. The picture I have included is actually of 62 of those items. While typing this and I remember that I wanted to give away some of our towel surplus, so I just ran to our bathroom linen closets and added a total of 10 more items to our bags. Here are a few stats I thought you mind find interesting:

• 181 items being purged from the Scott household (who knows, that number might still be growing, we’ll see). I am beyond excited for this giveaway! Kiss the excess good-bye!
• I discovered that I have 26 pillowcases in my home. We own 9 pillows. Does anyone think this is a little disproportionate? Now that 9 pillows still remain – 4 for Jeremy and I’s room, 4 for the guestroom, and one extra, but I have cut that pillowcase number in half!
• 181 items looks like 7 garbage bags full and 4 paper bags (not full due to weight). Random thought, wouldn’t it be cool to weigh all these bags to see how much weight our house lost?
• My new wardrobe total is 236; Jeremy’s new total is 207 (17% decrease).
• We contemplated adding our dog to the possessions fast. While this was a joke, I reminded Toby to be good this week because everything in our house to open for discussion. I truly meant everything!!!

I know Jeremy was really worried about this possessions fast when I got so excited about it. I’m sure he thought he would come home to an empty house. I like my stuff. That is for sure. However, I can see the excess and I think it’s important to purge when it’s proper. I think this was a proper time for that. This fast really pushed me to look past what I think I need. I assumed that I would have nothing to give, but it turns out that I had way more than I expected. I wonder how many other areas of my life I just “assume” that things are fine. These 5/7 Fasts along with reading Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Aganist Excess by Jen Hatmaker are really calling all my good intentions into question. I’m not assuming anymore! I’m doing something and it feels good! Better than expected! For those who are hesitant, let me tell you – the water is fine! Jump in!

The World's Smallest Load of Laundry!

I did the unthinkable last night. Jeremy and I had washed our clothes at separate times. Jeremy asked me as he started his load if there was anything I wanted to add. I said no. I forgot that I was still wearing my socks. As I prepared for bed last night, I realized that I still had my socks on. Jeremy told me not to worry about it. I would have plenty of time to wash them with my pajamas and they would be ready for my evening activities. I pondered this and decide that deep down inside I knew I would need fresh clean socks in the morning. There was no way I could wait to have them. They must be washed right then and there! So I started the world’s smallest load of laundry – two socks. Putting the wash size on small wasn’t even accurate. I wish there was extra teeny tiny amazingly small mode on my washing machine. It would make me feel less guilty about the water used to clean my two socks. I was able to throw my sock into the dryer for the last bit of Jeremy’s load that was drying. This made me feel slightly better since I wasn’t drying two socks by themselves. Oh the justification!

I’m sure you know what is coming next in this story, imagine a sleepy Amy waking up. Her feet are cold and is delighted to remember that she washed her socks last night just for this moment. Amy stumbles out of bed and makes her way to the dryer. She opens the dryer and finds her perfectly clean green socks sitting there, just waiting for her. Amy puts her socks on and there is the sound of harps playing from heaven. Amy is relieved that she did that amazingly small load of laundry. It was all worth it!!!

NOT!!!! I haven’t even put my socks on this morning. The house is warm and my feet are quite fine under my blanket on the couch. I seriously thought I was going to need my socks ASAP in the morning, but it turns out I didn’t. I feel a bit sheepish at this moment. Let’s chalk this up to another 5/7 Fast Learning Experience. They seem to be happening often. Oh goody!

One more thing I feel compelled to share, it dawned on me last night that I have articles of clothing in the garage that I didn’t count in my total. I rarely if ever use these items since the garage is my husband’s domain. I only go in there to get in and out of my car. So my new total is 296 – must add 2 pairs of work shoes, one pair of apple rain boots, and a pair of gardening gloves (I’m positive I have only used the gloves once in my entire life, but since they only fit my small hands they are labeled “Amy’s gloves” and I must count them even though I dislike them greatly and the chances of me using them again are slim). I am happy to report that I plan on removing a portion of my wardrobe next week for the possessions fast. I don’t have to live with the number 296 for very long. Praise the Lord!!!

Okay, it’s been a roller coaster week! As many of you have witnessed from my blog and conversations with me in person, you can tell that I’ve struggled with this 5/7 Fast. I have admitted that I was at the point of breaking on Wednesday. However, I am pleased to find that after almost giving up, I’m reaching a point of acceptance. The situation is what it is. I’m not going to to give up and so I have moved on to acceptance. Part of this might be due to the fact that my week is over halfway over. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I wonder if I would have reached acceptance so quickly if this was a month instead of a week? Oh well, I’m shouldn’t waste my thoughts on “what ifs”… Maybe someday I will embrace a month, but at this moment, a week is all I can handle.

Today has probably been easier because it is my day off. I’ve been in pajamas almost the entire day. I washed them and went to the movies (in my jeans and my t-shirt), but other than that I’ve been home and in my jammies. I am comfortable. I have socks on. I have heaters and blankets and no one assessing my outfit. Truthfully, very few people probably really care about what I wear. I know it’s all in my head. It’s all about how I view me. At home, in my pajamas, I feel free to be me. I am not justifying and judging within the walls of my home. It’s a bit of sanctuary. I wonder if that is what is keeping me from going over the edge and calling me back to what feels like sanity.

This afternoon was a big step though for my hubby. He is such a go with the flow kind of a guy that I don’t really feel like this week has bothered him the way it has me. He has shown no sign of inconvenience. He has not whined, complained, moaned or groaned at all. I am impressed and slightly worried. However, today he had what I would call his first clothing interruption. He wanted to pressure wash our driveway. Since he currently only has one pair of shoes he wanted to avoid them getting soaking wet. He still had errands to run today. There wasn’t time to let them dry. My hubby is super resourceful. He is the kind of guy that can make a make-shift anything to meet his needs. Good survival skills. So in the midst of a clothing fast, Jeremy decided to continue his planned to-do list while avoiding getting wet. The solution to his problem was garbage bags and rubber bands. He covered as much of his legs as possible with the bags and held them in place with rubber bands. I had to document this sight as you can see. As I was closing the door to the house and letting him return to his task, I heard him say something about missing his waders. I guess garbage bags weren’t his first choice for water protection. Times like this call for creativity and my hubby has it!

Now that I’m reaching a place of acceptance, I am reviewing the whole week and I am amazed at how the Lord has shown up this week. His presence has been undeniable in my life. Not all my major God moments have been related to the fast, but at the same time I wonder if that is really true. Maybe the fast has opened me up in a new way. Maybe my boldness has come from rising to the challenge of new situations. I am not sure how it’s all related, but I do know that God is active and moving. I can see his fingerprints all over this week. It’s been phenomenal. I wouldn’t change a single moment. God is good!

Yes, that’s me! I’ll admit that I am LWC – limited wardrobe challenged! At the beginning of this fast I thought a week was going to be easy. It wasn’t a month like the book, it was just a week. How hard can a week be? I am confessing that it has been harder than I thought. The romantic notions of thinking of others above myself has faded a bit and in certain moments I will admit to almost breaking.

Okay, let’s dive into the point where I almost snapped. I’m OCD when it comes to things being clean. I have to combat my tendencies to keep things spotless at all times. This plays a lot into my home and workspace, but I’m learning it also plays into my personal perception of myself. Once more my clothes are seen as a projection of who I am. Follow this train of thought, if my clothes are dirty than I am dirty. In my neat freak mind that is so not okay! I wouldn’t say I’m overly messy or accident prone… but with only two shirts, I get deeply upset when I get one shirt dirty before I planned to wash it. Yesterday, I spilled some flavored water on my t-shirt while I was baking and cleaning the house. I was praying that it would dry like “normal” water so I didn’t need to wash it until I had planned. It dried leaving a mark and I knew I need to wash my t-shirt sooner rather than later. This impromptu wardrobe change really messed up my clothing plan for the day. At one point, I was just a few feet away from my closet and all I could think about was WHY am I doing this!!! I have a ton of clean clothes just a few feet away and yet I’m putting myself through all this! I was close… so close to breaking down. Honestly, the reason why I didn’t give in wasn’t a holy one. I didn’t think of third world countries or those without. I thought about how I would be disappointed in myself and I wouldn’t want to hear about how others were disappointed in me. I didn’t want to give up and be seen as a quitter. That is way I am still doing this. I’m going to see it through. Even though it has been harder than expected, if others can do this, so can I!

Here are couple more thoughts that I have written down over the last couple of days:

• I talked with my mother-in-law about the feeling of guilt that comes from doing so many loads of laundry. I’m not talking about the feeling of guilt for running a small load or so many loads, but the fact that other people in other countries don’t have the option to just throw things into the washing machine. If I had to wash my clothes in the bathtub or a river, I might wear my clothes a little longer before I declared them dirty and decided to wash them.
• I have already started the purging process. I know this is in advance for next week’s possessions fast, but I have the motivation to get rid of stuff now. I’m going with that motivation and letting it drive me. I’ve already decided to give away 44 items and I know that there is more I can do. I feel called to give beyond the 49 items next week. This inspiration really comes from seeing my excess and a brave friend who is literally cutting her wardrobe in HALF as a result of this week. I’m so impressed with her response!
• For my Wednesday night class we have monthly dress-up days. This month’s dress-up day was crazy hat or scarf day. Now it just happen to fall over the clothing fast. I decided I wasn’t going to bring any scarves or hats to class and I was going to explain that we had to postpone our dress up day. Now some girls forgot about the dress up day, but no one showed up with a hat or scarf. One of the girls said she decided she couldn’t do it because of the fast. I was blown away to see that the girls were really thinking about this fast and taking it seriously. They weren’t going to take part in a dress up day if it made them break the fast. I’m so proud of them! We had a lot of good conversations out of doing this experience together.

Overall, I am so blessed by the many conversations I’ve had about the fast. I’ve been able to talk with a lot you who are doing this and it’s been strengthened to hear your struggles and triumphs. I appreciate the honesty when you tell me that it’s been hard. If everyone was saying this was a piece of cake then I would wonder what is wrong with me. I’ve been able to relate to your struggles. Thank you for sharing them. I’ve also been inspired by the way that many of you are taking action and making life change as a result.Let’s keep talking! Let’s keep encouraging and challenging each other. When we are united we can do more!

I’m keeping a journal and jotting down thoughts from time to time about this 5/7 Fast. I thought I would share with you some of the thoughts that have bounced around in my head thus far:

• I did a load of laundry yesterday with clothes that I wore over the weekend. Washing and putting clothes away that I couldn’t wear was tough. It reminded me that I was limited in my choices.
• I wasn’t planning on washing my sweatshirt yesterday, but I got a smudge of door jam grease on it. Normally I would just throw another jacket on, but I had to go to dinner with a mark on my sweatshirt. Jeremy told me that calling a smudge on my sweatshirt a problem sounded really prissy. Guess what… I’m prissy. I admit it.
• I decided to wash my socks with my shirt and jeans last night so I had no socks for the rest of the evening. My feet did get cold. I longed for my socks, but decided that I would prefer fresh socks in the morning. I wonder if I will break down toward the end of the week and just accept that I’ll be wearing recently washed socks, not always fresh.
• This morning I started to feel uncomfortable because a lot of the staff have chosen two different shirts to wear to work and I have only chosen one. It’s amazing how with only 7 items of clothing, I’m still comparing myself to others and judging myself on how they look verses how I look. REALLY??? I am shallow.
• This morning I was hit by the fact that I like my stuff. I get security from my stuff. The more clothing options I have the more secure I feel in my appearance. Being stripped of my options is showing me where I put my trust. Just like the passage in Luke 12 that Pastor Kyle preached on Sunday, I don’t want to have closets (barns) full of clothes (crops) and lose sight of the true purpose in life. Before this challenge I would have told you I’m not materialistic. I’m realizing just how materialistic I am… scary!

I started to think through this whole excess thing in other areas of my life… towels, dishes, blankets. I felt totally justified in buying another set of dishes 2 weeks ago, because Jeremy and I would use up all our dishes before the dishwasher was full enough to run it. Instead of washing small loads in the dishwasher or hand washing my dishes, I bought more dishes (for convenience). I’m sure people in other parts of the world would be blown away by having roughly 12 place settings of dishes (slightly less when you consider my hubby and I have broken a few pieces). On top of that, I’m sure it would be above and beyond their wildest dreams to have them washed in a dishwasher. It is crazy how fasting clothing is filtering into other areas of my life. This isn’t just about clothes. So much to think about… Yikes!