Amy Scott's Thoughts

This last week has been a good one as I get the house in shape for the new year. Last Wednesday I did a deep clean since our house was really lived in from vacation. I did tidy things from time to time over our break, but not like I usually do. It was vacation after all. On Friday I used my new steam vacuum for the first time. I love pouring out brown water and knowing that dirt in no longer in my carpet. It’s one of the most satisfying feelings on this planet, I’m sure of it. Today I went through the house did some organizing. Jeremy and I have been making some extra “fun” money by selling things we no longer use or need on eBay. While our home office really looks like we’re running a business due to large piles sitting here and there, the absence of those items in our house led me to do some rearranging. Our bookshelves were the most obviously hit. I spent some time sorting books and evening the two shelves out. I even divided my personal bookshelf into fiction and non-fiction – like the library. For some reason that fact makes me chuckle and feel happy. The only instance where this does pan out is with C.S. Lewis. His books fall under both categories and I just couldn’t separate them Weird, I know.

After the bookshelves, I attacked the pantry, fridge and freezer! I don’t do it very often, but from time to time it’s good to go over everything and throw away expired food. I usually do this task when my hubby isn’t home since he can argue any expired food should have the right to live just a little while longer. Me, on the other hand, I take those numbers seriously. A day over the expiration date and I’m pretty sure food poisoning is a possibility. With the food items taken care of – I moved on to Jeremy’s junk drawer. I didn’t really throw anything away from this drawer, but I did reorganize it and put a few things away that don’t really belong in there.

Another fun activity I did today was replace some of the photos around my house. It seems every 3-6 months I want to update the photos with our recent travels and gatherings. I like looking at something new when I walk around my house. The only problem is there are so many good pictures to choose from and many of the ones I take down I still dearly enjoy. I try to keep it all in balance though. I can only afford so many picture frames and really I only have so much space for them.

I enjoy this time of deep cleaning and organizing. It makes my house feel fresh. I would say I clean like this with the seasons. Spring cleaning one time a year is just not enough. I know I’m a bit OCD, but even I have the habit of letting things slide and soon before you know it a well organized space is sloppy. Because of eBay, we’re going through our stuff and that is a good thing. I love sorting through my stuff and getting rid of things. I’m not sure why I’m wired this way, but I enjoy it!

However, I did move one or two things today that I probably shouldn’t have… and my back is a tiny bit sore. I think the couch and I will become good friends this evening! I need to balance all this productivity with some rest!

Happy New Year!

It’s here! 2013! So far it’s been a good year despite the fact that it is an odd number and I’m not fond of odd numbers. December 31st 2012 left us with a blanket of white snow and due to temperatures staying below freezing we still  have some on the ground. Snow always changes the lighting and makes my house feel different. It’s not often that we see a White Christmas and White New Year.

One of my highlights of New Year’s Day is watching the HGTV Dream House. Anyone else planning on winning it this year? I do too. Every year. Each house seems amazing and perfect and every year I dare to dream that I might someday be it’s owner. Of course, I don’t have plans to move to South Carolina, but if I won this stunning dream home, I would for sure take a nice long vacation there!

It’s time to get back to routine. I’ve been on a long vacation and today I’m trying to get back on track with what a normal Wednesday in the day in the life of Amy Scott would look like. This means cleaning the entire house, doing all the household laundry and baking for my class tonight at church.

I also had enough time to get in a quick workout on Just Dance. I feel so silly while I dance, but it gets my heart rate up and it sure makes me sweat. I figure that is a sign of a good workout. I need to burn those calories to get off those extra holiday goodies that left me a few pounds heavier over the last month. While I’m not the type who usually makes resolutions, but I do hope to get my eating back on track now that the celebration season is behind me. I also hope to do this dance workout at least 2-3 times a week. Here’s hoping!

I finished my whole Bible reading plan for 2012 on December 24th, so yesterday I kicked off the new plan for 2013. I’m really enjoying it so far and I’ve even gotten a bit ahead already. I like creating buffers in my reading so if I miss a day it’s not a big deal. The great thing about this plan is it is set up to be a 6 day plan, so there is already a built in day off. Along with Bible reading, I’ve took a break from Christmas to New Year’s with my regular reading. I have many books that I plan on getting in January and I can’t wait to crack their covers and see what they have for me! (Check out the 2013 Bible Reading Plan here)

Wednesday is a great day to “officially” get back on track. It’s an at home day for me, so it’s not like jumping right into the craziness of life. I do have church tonight, but after a nice break, I’m ready to be back in the classroom and with my girls again. I always appreciate how much this break around Christmas gives me space to breathe. It was the perfect combination of going out and doing things and seeing people mixed with down time at home. Now that I’ve had this space, I’m ready to head back to my routine, to my classroom and even the office tomorrow.

The rest of this week holds making cake pops for the first time. I can’t wait to tell you how it goes – good or bad! I think I will also start 2013 off with clean carpets. I’m excited to pull out my new steam vacuum that I got for Christmas and give it a test run on my floors. Lots of fun stuff to do! 2013 is off a great start! I hope it for you as well!

For some reason I’m really tickled by the date 12-12-12. I’ve actually been looking forward to it! Weird, I know. Usually these things don’t make a big difference to me. I don’t really remember getting too excited for 11-11-11 or 10-10-10, but yeah, 12-12-12 is very exciting to me! I hope you’re enjoying it as much as I am! I thought on this 12-12-12 kind of a day, I would show you 12 glimpses into my Christmas season. Sort of a random take on the 12 days of Christmas.

1 – A Veggie Tales Nativity for the office

2 – Snowflake gel clings for the office door

3 – A Christmas bow on Toby’s collar!

4 – Cupcakes for my class party!

5 – Yep, I’m a sucker for a band fundraiser!

6 – A sweet gift for helping with the Christmas musical!

7 – Presents ready for a party this weekend!

8 – My favorite holiday warmer!

9 – Counting down to Christmas with Candy Cane Kisses

10 – Christmas Lights on the house!

11 – Little People Nativity

12 – Blow Fish Buddies!

I was catching up on some blog posts from favorite blogger and I stumbled across a portion of her blog that really spoke to me today. I’ve often struggled with just how much of my life to share in the blogosphere. Part of my deeply wants to tell you everything, so the world will know my side of the story, so I can be seen for who I truly am. However, some things I don’t want to share, because they are painful or even shameful. Who wants to admit their own humanity? Not I… or maybe I do. I just don’t know sometimes.  It’s a tough balance.

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Here is an excerpt from Sarah Bessey’s blog (click here to read the whole post):

I keep secrets.

Sometimes, I keep secrets because not enough time has passed for me to be able to really write about something. I keep secrets because it’s not yet time to tell that part of my life. I keep some secrets because it would hurt others to have it aired publicly. I keep secrets because only one part of the story can be told but really there is so much more going on behind the scenes.

I keep some secrets because I’m embarrassed or ashamed, others are because they are too dear and too precious for mass-consumption. I keep secrets because my appetite for truth and transparency doesn’t supersede my responsibility to care for the emotional well-being and hearts of others, and because most of our lives don’t occur in a vacuum.

I keep secrets because my family and my friends didn’t sign up to have their lives aired publicly.

I keep secrets because I like having my own life, tucked away, just for me, or just for my husband, or just for my tinies.

I keep secrets because it’s good for me, for my family, for my spirituality, for my sanity, for my soul, for me to keep secrets.

So I feel a bit tender-hearted towards Madeleine L’Engle today. I write through my life, and I write about my life, and I hope I’m true enough.

I hope I’m true enough.

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All I can do is agree. I hope that I am true enough. I love to write. I love to sort out my thoughts through the written word. You have no idea how much therapy this blog supplies me. Sometimes I think writing is the only way I can get through my day, the only way to be me. This will be my 302^nd blog post and I am so thankful for this outlet.

I strive to be honest and real. I want to share my life the best way possible. I do it a lot for myself, but also with the hope that someone will be able to relate. Maybe someone will be encouraged to know that they are not alone. I struggle just like them. I mess up. Despite my perfectionist nature, I am coming to grips with my own limitations and it’s a good place to be. God shows up.

So thank you for walking this journey with me.  I will continue to keep secrets from you, but I will also continue to be honest. It’s a strange tension, but the two can exist together. Honesty and secrets – I will live by both.

Today is a day that I’ve been looking forward to for some time! It’s one of the those blessed days where I have no plans and I don’t leave my house. In fact, I declared today a pajama day (Christa – I did this in honor of you and our conversation yesterday). I had nothing really planned for the day, but it filled itself quite nicely. I got sleep in. My hubby and I made an apple pie while watching all the Christmas episodes of The Office. Jeremy, sadly, had to be an adult and go to work this evening, so that left me at home with a book, my little dog, and twinkling lights on our Christmas tree. I must say, it doesn’t get better than that! I just finished by book and now I’m thinking it might be time for a bubble bath… Or maybe off to my next book? Who knows? This has been an amazingly relaxing day! Days at home like this don’t happen often, but I like to take for all their worth when they come! I think this one was successful! While I do have serious, pondering blog topics in my head, I think I save them for another day. Because today is pajama day and it is meant to be a day of rest! Amen!

This is what a day of rest looks like!

Time to Decorate!

I love this time of year! I love that Christmas isn’t just December 25th, but it’s the time leading up to that day. Christmas for me starts with Christmas music sometime in November and decorating my house after Thanksgiving. It’s getting a Christmas tree and decorating it with my hubby. It’s about special dinners out with friends and red cups and shopping! It’s about days spent with family. About giving that gifts that makes their eyes light up. The biggest thing I love about Christmas is the fact that it’s not just a day. It’s a whole season! It doesn’t matter to me what day I’m celebrating. Christmas is in all the magical moments that December holds. I love the Christmas musical that our kiddos at Bethel Church perform every year and the Christmas parties we have in Children’s Church and during my Wednesday night class. This is one of my favorite times of year!

Christmas Lights!

I also can’t help but get lost on the Big God Story that leaves me in awe. The Son of God becoming one of us. Coming to save us, coming to die. I can only imagine that first Christmas and how holy it must have been. I can’t imagine how Mary felt – holding Immanuel – God with us! I don’t know about you, but raising the Son of God seems a bit intimidating. Even within the Christmas story, I am reminded it’s not just a day. The Christmas story is our story every day of the week. It’s our need for a Savior and how God comes to us and bridges the gap. It’s more than a day. A day couldn’t hold it all.

I am thankful! I know I say it all the time here, but it’s so true. When I start to write about these amazing blessing, I just can’t help but say thank you! I’m blessed with amazing friends and family who truly make the season worth celebrating. I am thankful for the time I get to spend with the children of Bethel Church talking about the Christmas story and what it means for us. I am thankful for salvation – for a God who was willing to come to me and give me a chance. When I look at all the lights and ornaments, I smile because everything feels cozier and warmer than usual. I so glad that all this joy in fun isn’t limited to one day. It’s much better to celebrate over a whole season!

Thankful for friendship!

I love long car rides because they give me and God some good time together. Today I had about an hour and a half drive up north to meet with a friend for lunch. I downloaded some podcasts from Jonathan Martin at Renovatus Church. Anytime I’m going to be in the car alone for longer than 20 minutes, you can bet I’m attending my “podcast” church. I love Jonathan Martin’s preaching and I’m always nodding my head and “amening” as I’m driving along my merry way. Today was no exception.

The message I was listening to today was about prayer and just really telling God how you feel. It was about giving God a gut level response. Just right were you’re at, tell God how you feel about it. Don’t pretty it up, don’t assume that have to “be” a certain way. Just tell him. Even if it involves the raw emotion we all so desperately try to suppress.  It was a good message and I was reminder that God wants us just as we are. We can just be us. What a blessing and what freedom!

So after listening to this message, I felt like God and I should have a good talk. I often pray in the car, so this is nothing new to me. I didn’t feel the need to shout or yell. I just wanted to talk. I wanted him to know how grateful I am for his goodness. His love has been so unfailing in my life. 2012 has been hard year for me in a lot of ways, but he has been faithful to use each moment for my good. Without the hard stuff, I would never have had to rely on him in this way. Without the hard stuff, I would never know this closeness that I now feel with him. The Lord has been my rock, my song, my joy. So even at the end of a hard week, all I could was say thank you and again tell him, I trust his plan over my own.

The drive up north to lunch was a holy one. It’s moments like this when I can say I had church in my car. Nothing like a good message and time spent at the alter. Now I did focus on the road and I did make it to my destination safely. So no worries there! Lunch with my beloved friend, Maggie, is always a special treat. She’s been with me through so many of life’s ups and downs and yet again, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. Her friendship is just another blessing of the Lord. He has given me such loving people to do life with.

God is so good! I am unworthy and so thankful! His grace is more than enough for each moment! I don’t know what else to say other than I am blown away.

Okay, I will admit that I’m a follower. I stole this idea from Sarah Bessey. This week I’ll be posting some reruns. A few of my favorite posts or the ones that really meant a lot to me. I know that not everyone has been with me since the beginning so who knows, maybe a few won’t be reruns for you. I think there is something important to remembering, to going back and looking at the past. These entries remind me of God’s faithfulness. They show me how my journey has been marked by his hands.

I thought it would be fitting if my first rerun post, would be the first post I made here:

New Territory (published on April 6, 2011)

I feel like I’ve hit the ceiling of what I can accomplish. I’m a pastor’s wife with a bachelor’s degree in Church Ministries and a minor in Biblical Studies. I have received my license to preach from my fellowship and now I’m about to become an ordained minister. I work alongside my husband as his administrative assistant and so much more. I love my job and I love the people I work with. However, with ordination coming up in a month, I have begun to wonder what the next step is for me. I’ve been pondering what is the next goal and what am I being called to beyond this. Life never stays still and I don’t want to think I’ve reached my greatest heights yet. There must be a “next” for me.

I have felt called to writing for a long time. I love to read and I have been shaped so much for the voices of authors. My dream would be to impact people the way I have been so positively influenced. Often I have believed the Cinderella line that “a dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep.” Nothing about my dream seemed like reality. Just the sleepy thoughts of a girl who wants to do more.  I’ve worried that I have nothing to say, that I’m the only one who feels this way, what if people realize that I have doubts and struggles, would my words even matter. Fear has held me back from making this dream a reality.

After much prayer and a push in the right direction from loved ones, I have started my writing adventure. I’m truly walking into the great unknown. It seems like everything under the sun has already been written. I may have no new truth to share, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t share it. I have realized that unless I speak up I will not have a voice.  If I am stating the same thing as someone else, people out there will begin to see that they are not alone. I myself will also be encouraged to know that I’m not the only one to have these thoughts. There is shared strength in honesty and truth.

I haven’t taken any how to write an article classes or blogging 101, but I feel compelled to go into new territory and share what I am thinking. I want to share what I have learned and what I am in the process of learning. I want to ask questions. I want to explore God’s love and his calling on my life.  I want my voice to be heard and to make a difference. My prayer is that on this journey of writing I will be able to express myself more deeply. I will go beyond the surface and address what is going on in my soul. I will be real and open. Some may think that I am crazy and honestly, I believe there is a bit of crazy in all of us. We might experience life in different ways, but there is truth in the world that binds all together and gives us common ground.

My prayer is that the Lord will guide me on this new path.  I pray that I will be able to step out in truth and share my experiences with love and honesty. I know that I am woman called by God. He has a plan for me and he will equip me to do his good purposes. I don’t want to be scared anymore. So often I have believe that I must keep my mouth shut because I’m supposed to have it all together. The truth is I don’t have it all together. I never will, but I’m learning that is okay. I want to grow from my life experiences and use them to advance the kingdom of God.

So I am open for business! Open to the Holy Spirit and open to life! I am open to being seen and known. I want to step out of my comfort zone and embrace a new path that the Lord has set before me. This new territory is unknown to me and unfamiliar, but that is no longer an excuse not to explore it.   I trust that there is good to be had in this great adventure and I don’t want to miss out. I will not remain silent when I know that I am called to share my story and my journey with others.

I live in the Evergreen State surround by tall trees with needles instead of leaves. Now that doesn’t mean we don’t have our fair share of deciduous trees. They are just less prominent. The tree has long been a metaphor for our spiritual life and lately I find myself pondering, do I want to be a evergreen or a deciduous tree?

My sister and I have a much loved and little known song by Switchfoot that we sing to each other. It was on a holiday album even though it has very little to do with the holidays. It’s more about the seasons. The main point of the song is “I want to be evergreen, I want to live all around.” For a long time, I would sing this song like a motto. I want to live all year around. Always alive, constantly growing.

Then I read about deciduous trees and how their leaves signify the seasons, the cycles of life. There are some seasons where we are in cold winter and it seems like we are bare, a hollow shadow of our former selves. Then there is spring. As small things begin to bloom and change, we find ourselves coming to life with the warm light. For a summery season, we bask in the glow and we are fully alive. However, nothing stays the same for long. We find ourselves falling toward change. Our leaves turn from green to gold. Then they fall. What are we left with? The hope of spring and the promise of summer.

I see myself in each tree. I see the benefit to both. Recently, I was driving over the mountain pass to see family and attend a conference. At one point in our travels, we passed a large set of deciduous trees. Their leaves had fallen in perfect piles around the base of the tree. The wind had not scattered them. Here sat these trees with all their majesty laying at their feet. Though they were bare, it was a beautiful sight. At that point in my pondering, I decided that I am deciduous tree, because I have cycles to my faith and have recently learned more than ever to see the beauty in the pain. It was a long lesson to learn, but I have finally accepted the winter times of a my soul as blessing.

I thought that being evergreen meant being constant without change. The word that came to my mind was stagnant. If I was evergreen, would I really have a vibrant, living faith? Then I remembered, evergreens grow a tiny bit each year adding inches to their branches. I never really noticed the brighter green tips in the spring until my sister told me how soft they were and instructed me to pet them. Being evergreen to me means constant faith and hope. It means no flashy gold, orange or red. It does mean slow, but measurable growth. The new growth is soft – just like our hearts.

So I’m left wondering – do I want to be evergreen or deciduous? Could I be a hybrid plant? The best of both parts. I’m not sure. I do know that when I look at these very different trees, I see beauty in both. I see the creator in both. Each are different, but both speak volumes into my spiritual journey. I’ll throw the question out to you, evergreen or deciduous?