Amy Scott's Thoughts

I wrote a book review for Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist at the beginning of the month. I was really impressed with Shauna’s honest writing about change, disappointment and rough seasons of life. She balanced it all so well with growth and healing. Such a good read and it did a lot for as I deal with my own bittersweet situations. I decided to check out her first book Cold Tangerines since I loved Bittersweet so much.

I was curious about Cold Tangerines because it was her first book and the tag line is “celebrating the extraordinary nature of everyday life.” I wasn’t sure if Cold Tangerines was the happy book before the bottom fell out and Bittersweet was the sad, realistic book to follow. Now I wouldn’t call Bittersweet sad (it did make me cry), but a mix of both bitter and sweet reflections, so it was fitting for it’s title. I thought that Cold Tangerine might be fluffy and maybe I wouldn’t like Shauna as much if she was too perky. However, I found great consistency in her character. She’s an amazing writer. When I read her work, especially when she writes about writing, I think that I could do that. I could be a writer. I could share short insights into what I’ve learned through everyday life. In fact, that’s what I try to do on a somewhat regular basis here on this blog. Let’s face it though, sometimes I just want to write about cupcakes. Shauna also writes a lot about food, so I think she would understand my need to write about baked goods!

This book covers the period of time where she left her job at a church and become a stay at home writer and mom. I could relate to her as she wrote about her identity being wrapped up her job. I think those of us with “church” jobs think that the job is who we are. We are saving the world and trying to make it a better place. What are we without our titles, projects, meetings, and busy schedules. Would we cease to exist? I hope not. This is a lesson that I’ve been learning more and more. My job is only a small portion of who I am and what I have to offer the world. It’s not my identity. Being a church lady isn’t the only thing I’m good at. I love my job and I love being a church lady, I’m not knocking the profession, I’m just saying I’m more than that.

I find myself being drawn to books about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary. I love One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp for that reason and now both of these offerings by Shauna Niequist. I used to think that life was all about striving for the next big thing – the next up and coming, bigger and better thing. It was always about striving for more. Now I realize that right where I am is more than enough. I love the simple things and living a simple life. I don’t know why I thought I had to be all important and massively impressive. Talk about a lot of pressure. So like Alicia Britt Chole writes about, I’m choosing to be Anonymous. I’m finding that by choosing the unseen life, I’m slowing down to a pace where I can see the unseen things in my own life. The treasures of each day are plentiful. Each moment if truly a gift. I used to say that in a Hallmark card kind of way – all gushy and happily-ever-after-like. I didn’t quite believe it because it seemed too sweet to be real life. Now that I can take both the bitter and the sweet and be thankful, I’m learning the value of each minute. It’s not going to be rainbows and sunshine all the time, but God is good no matter what and I can see him in all things if I’m looking. Even in the things I don’t understand, I know that he is there, holding me. I don’t have to get it all. I just have to be thankful. Because being thankful makes me joyful and being joyful makes me smile and laugh and feel free.

Now to keep with the theme of my reading lately, I look forward to starting Love Does by Bob Goff. The tag line of this book is “Discover a secretly incredible life in an ordinary world.” Sounds right up my alley, doesn’t it? I’m so glad that God has colored in my ordinary world with his love! No excuse for boredom and never a dull moment! I’m living an adventure!

I first heard about this book from my dad who happens to be an Andy Stanley enthusiast. Back in my (short) days as the curriculum person at our church, I got to preview some of Andy DVDs and like all things put out by North Point, I was impressed and I enjoyed them. I was watching a session of Guardrails and I can vividly remember responding audibly with a “good word”… I was the only one home. Hmm… it was a good point. I think Toby agreed with me ( for those that know me – Toby is my dog and he probably thought I was crazy. Wouldn’t be the first time).

My dad told me that Andy had a new book coming out and that it was going to be a tell all on what happened in his parent’s marriage and how North Point got started out the drama that went on with his father. I’m human. I’m curious about other peoples messes. So much like reading a tabloid magazine, I was set to get the dirt from the inside source. It turns out that book was about a lot more than that. While the chapters on Andy’s leaving his dad’s church and starting North Point were good, the book is so much deeper than that.

This book is pretty much Andy’s brain on North Point. He gives you the look inside why they do things the way they do. Now I’m not a fan of copy-cat churches. I’m not suggesting we all become mini versions of North Point. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t Andy’s intention either. It’s just interesting to see how they got where they are and why they intentionally went that direction.

It was a good book for anyone in church leadership to read. It convicted me about some of the things that I’m currently doing in my own ministry. Andy ends the book was the chapter about “What If” – what if he hadn’t of left his dad’s church? What if he hadn’t started North Point? What would he have missed? What lives wouldn’t be changed? This was a challenge to me to live my life fully and take the risks that might seem crazy. I want to live a life that is so on point and so intentional that I would be heart broken if it never happened. I don’t want to miss the God moments. What if I hadn’t give it my all? What if I didn’t connect with that student? It’s empowering to remember that every investment we make into the kingdom of God is worth it.

What I love is that North Point is so different from the church I serve in. I mean size wise there is no comparison. However, Andy has never been about making big churches. The whole premise of the book is creating churches that unchurched people love to attend. It’s so good to remember that the church isn’t a building with walls. It’s a group of people alive and active in a community. It also shouldn’t be exclusive for “members” like a country club. It’s an open invitation to authentic relationships, to family, to find a deeper purpose and meaning to life. Our churches should be a place unchurched people love to come. Okay so maybe they don’t want to come… because they’ve had a negative experience or their scared or worried… but that is the thing. We should put all those fears aside with our love and acceptance. I don’t know about you, but I needed that.

My job is mainly about keeping the church people happy. It’s about making sure that parent’s are happy with the care that their child receives while they attend our services, classes, programs. I really do believe that my job is beyond childcare. I’m not there to make sure kid’s are watched and out of their parents way. Idealistically, that’s not why I am there. However, practically and legally, that’s kind of why I’m there. I need to be reminded that there are some families who show up that may know nothing about this church thing. I need to remember that not every child grew up with a faith in Jesus. Some haven’t made that decision yet and they are just trying to figure this whole thing out. I want to be a safe place for them to come with their questions and with their doubts. I want them to feel loved and accepted and I don’t want them to worry about  judgment.

I do believe that churches can be deep and wide. I’ve often heard the phrase “That church is an inch-deep and a mile-wide. ” – meaning it’s all about the numbers and not growing the people. I’m pretty hardcore when it comes the deep stuff. I don’t want to be a church full of baby Christians who haven’t grown past their faith infancy. So I like the idea of being deep and wide. We need to be wide reaching in our love, acceptance and grace. We need to go deep and be a part of life transformation. It’s a both/and situation.

I’m thankful to Andy Stanley for his honest writing and his ability to share all that he has learned from experience. This is a must read.

My first introduction to Rachel Held Evans was one that made think she was WAY out there. I had been warned that her views were probably more liberal than my own. I was told that some don’t even believe that she is a Christian. I was also told that she’s known for believing in theistic evolution. Still, I was intrigued. I’d read a little bit of her work and I must admit that I didn’t think she was crazy off the deep end. I’m sure that there is a lot that we might not see eye to eye on, but as far as I can tell she loves Jesus and loves others, so for me… I guess I think she’s Christian.

Evolving in Monkey Town is her book about how her faith changed. She went from being a know-it-all who was certain she had all the answers to struggling with some severe doubt. She’s honest about the questions that kept her up at night. She looked at things like life and death, heaven and hell. She struggled with questions about how people who have never heard about God could be punished. Somehow because she was born in the USA with Christian parents that gave her a chance at heaven, but what about those who didn’t win what she calls the “cosmic lottery”, what about those who don’t have the chance? What about the poor and broken? It’s a good book for wrestling and wondering. Personally, I’m glad she had the guts to share her journey and to honest about her thoughts.

I really like where she ended up as a result. It all come back to who God is. While talking about absolute truth, she said that she believes that absolute truth looks like Jesus. I couldn’t agree more. I’m not sure why there are so many denominations in the world and I don’t understand how one person can read a passage of scripture and get “proof” for something and someone else can read that same passage and come up with an opposite belief. I guess when it comes down to it, I don’t want to fight about the small stuff. I just want to focus on the stuff that matters – like Jesus and his compassion. I want to live a life that loves the poor and broken. I want to love God and love others. I think that might be enough. I don’t have to all the answers. I just want to know Jesus.

I’m a bit of a nerd. I loved going to Bible college and studying the scripture in a classroom setting. I really do engaging my mind. Over the years I’ve had to learn the balance of both knowing God in my head and loving him in my heart. It’s not all head knowledge and it’s not all touchy-feely. What I walked away with from reading this book is that God is just so much bigger than I can even imagine. I in no way have him figured out. In fact, as I’ve gotten older, I am leery of people who have it all figured out. I’m less likely to debate and fight as I once was. I just want to live a life that speaks of the love of my Savior. I want to give value to people by seeing them and really listening. I want to reflect Jesus. I know I’m not the best as this and I believe I will have to devote my entire lifetime to it because I will never really grasp it.

I could see myself in a lot of ways through Rachel’s processing. I can see how certainty can lead to doubt and how doubt can led to faith. I guess this life wouldn’t take faith if we really had it all figured out. I’m glad that God is bigger than any box we can put him in. I’m glad he made us and gets it. Not the other way around. Despite differences and uncertainty, I have a peace. I’m also really glad that Rachel was honest about her doubts and questions. I believe that the church needs to be a safe place for questions like these to be asked. We might not have all the answers, but I’m pretty sure that’s okay. I think authentically answering “I don’t know, but I know God loves you” is just fine. It might be freeing. I know it is for me!