Amy Scott's Thoughts

Sharing the thoughts that bounce around in my brain!

Mother’s Room Remake February 7, 2014

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Parenthood,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 11:03 am

Our church has been doing some construction and expanding our cafe area. This expansion took over the space where our mother’s room once was. As a result the mother’s room has bounced around the church. The first location was too far away from the sanctuary. I had a conversation with some concerned moms. They thought that if someone had a screaming baby coming out of service the walk would be too long. Another mom mentioned the walk might be too far for mom’s recovering from a c-section. I voiced these concerns to Jeremy, who in turn shared them with our staff. And that is how the mother’s room landed on my plate. I’m a mom now and had a mom perspective, so why not redo the room myself? In the past, our mother’s room has been an assortment of mismatched furniture pieces and art work that never really hung up on the walls and “girly” accessories that really had no place in a mother’s room and only made it feel cluttered. Tealight candle holders are nice, but no one is lighting a candle in there for ambiance while they nurse. Plus there was no candle in the holder and nothing to light a candle with even if there was one. Classy, I know. Somehow placing a lighter in the mother’s room doesn’t seem smart. Anyway, after the mother’s room relocated again it became apparent the room needed attention. Whoever set it up originally placed the couch right in front of the door so when you opened the door you would get a full view of whoever is nursing. Not a great set-up if someone who wasn’t a mom happened to walk by the hallway at the same time the door was opening. My biggest vision for the room was clear out the mismatched picture frames, clutter and couches then configure the room into a better flow. Jeremy helped me since most of this project involved moving furniture and hanging things on the wall. I couldn’t do it alone. I’m grateful he shared his valuable time at work to help me out. We moved the wall mounted television to the opposite side of the room. We added a Bible verse vinyl decal above the changing table. A little inspiration for our moms. For the changing table, we bought new storage bins that now house diapers sizes 1-4 and changing table liners so they can use a clean surface every time they change their baby’s diaper. Wipes are also included. The table is now stocked with everything a mom will need. We also added a diaper genie to the room to contain those stinky diapers. Up until now, diapers have just been thrown a way in an open trash can. I figured the room would be a nicer environment if it didn’t smell like a poopy diaper. We bought two matching couches and configured the couches along with the rockers so they could see the TV, but be out of sight when the door is opened. The one thing we kept from the wall art before was a giant mirror. I figured moms might want to do a quick check in the mirror before leaving the room. I know I usually do. There was an old jumper in the room that looked well worn from use (aka gross), so we replaced it with a new jumper and added a bouncer as well. The jumper is good if you want to put your older baby down for a minute and the bouncer will be good for younger babies. The only items that really don’t match now in the room are the rocking chairs, but this remodel was on a budget, so the rocking chairs will be just fine. Plus, my preference would be to use the couches anyway.  Below are a few pictures of the final product! I’m so glad to have this room completed and I’m so thankful for all the help Jeremy gave me!

The television will allow moms to watch the service while they take care of their little ones.

The view to the right of the door

View of the whole room

The well stocked changing table

 

New Perspective January 26, 2014

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Parenthood,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 11:19 am
My little nut

My little nut

A few years ago I read a book called You Lost Me and it was all about why 18-30 years aren’t in church. I could understand and relate to the reasons listed, but now I have a new perspective. Maybe 18-30 year olds aren’t coming to church because these are they years that they have infants in their life. As a new mom, I have had my eyes opened to just how tricky it can be to get your family to church. My situation is different than the average attending family, but if they go through even a little bit of what I go through then I get it.

Let’s dissect my morning. On Sundays I am up at 6:00am so I can get showered and ready before Owen wakes up and while Jeremy is still home. Service starts at 9:00am, so that is a good three hours before I have to be anywhere. Jeremy, who is a pastor, has to be to church by 7:30am, so I have his help until 7:15am.  Some mornings Owen is up at 6:45am and others he sleeps until I have to wake him up. This morning was one where I had to wake up him up at 8:15am in order to get him fed and dressed and out the door by 8:45am. I usually get to church right on time and have just a minute or two to say hellos before the service starts. If Owen stays asleep, I can make it through service. This isn’t usually the case. Today Owen was awake during service and wanted to shriek during worship. This wasn’t an unhappy noise, but it was noisy. I took him out into the foyer until he started to get fussy there. Then it was back to Jeremy’s office for a diaper change. That didn’t help his mood. So I fed him. That didn’t help his mood either. I knew he was probably tired and fighting sleep. After a couple of attempts to try to get him to sleep, I left (with him screaming by the way, apparently he didn’t want to be strapped down in his car seat). Of course, he was sleep in just a matter of minutes once the car was on. I got home and I am proud to say that I was able to transfer him from the car seat to his bed. Now he is settled in for the nap he wouldn’t take at church.

A lot of my time is spent at church. I grew up regularly attending church as a kid. In high school, I got involved in serving and I’ve been active ever since. However, Owen has certainly thrown a loop into this. I no longer feel dependable because I never know what mood my kid will be in. Some days are good. Some days we just head home. I have a hard time leaving because I am used to serving alongside my husband and I’m committed to the kids that I serve. I guess the average family has both mom and dad working together to make a Sunday morning happen. At church I am a single mom. This isn’t a poor reflection on my husband at all. I take care of Owen so he can do his job. I understand that Jeremy can’t drop everything for a poopy diaper. While breastfeeding has it’s advantages, the one disadvantage is it makes me the sole provider of Owen’s meals. When he is hungry, I have to stop and feed him. There is no passing him off. Owen does get a pumped bottle daily, but yet again, Jeremy can’t drop his job to feed the baby. It’s on me. I think that is what is so tiring. It’s all on me. The weight of it all. If Owen is a nut it is up to me to fix the problem. If the problem can’t be fixed then it’s me who has to leave with the crazy baby.

I just dedicated my son last week in front of our church congregation and this week like many other weeks, I wonder if church is worth the hassle. Why get up at 6:00am on Sunday when I might only make it an hour at church before needing to head home. Not every week is this way, but the effort is enough to make me wonder if it’s worth it. If I’m doubting my church attendance and I’m a pastor’s wife, I wonder what the average family with young children thinks. It’s not about how wonderful the people are or the classes that are offered. It’s not about great the mother’s room is. It’s about the effort. Are you even getting anything out of the experience? I haven’t been able to sit through service in a couple of weeks. I talk with a few people in the hallways as I’m rushing my unhappy baby to a quiet place for diaper changes and feedings. I am dedicated to raising Owen to know the Lord and I do believe in the local church. My attendance just might be spotty for a few years and I’m a paid staff member. Insert guilt here. But… There is not much I can do about this fact. Now that I’m a parent, church is a totally different.

 

Staying Home September 26, 2013

Filed under: Family Time,Parenthood,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 9:49 am

This last week all the staff of Bethel Church took off for our annual staff retreat. This is a trip that I have attended every year with the team, but this year Jeremy and I decided that it would be best if I stayed home. With our little guy being full term, it didn’t seem like a great idea for me to drive 4 hours over the mountains away from my doctor. It was hard to send Jeremy away because there was a lot of “what if” wonderings. I dreaded the thought of having to call him and say “Come home quick!” Lucky, for me, nothing too eventual happened while he was away. Also, my mom came out to spend the night with me just in case something did happen. I’m blessed to have a family that takes good care of me.

It was strange to have the whole team off doing something that I am normally a part of. It’s odd to not be included after being in the loop for so long. Even though it was a different experience for me, I actually really loved staying home. The older I get it seems I become more of a homebody. I love being home. On Sunday after Jeremy hit the road, I gave my house a good cleaning and a fresh start for the week.  My mom came over every night around 7:00pm and we would talk for a few hours and on Tuesday night we watched a movie together.

Sister day! Note the new scarf!

Sister day! Note the new scarf!

Now I didn’t just “stay” home all day, everyday. On Monday, I met up with my sister mid-morning for Starbucks and what I thought would be a trip over to Walmart once we were finished.  That morning as I was getting ready, the weather was so fall like – gray and chilled. I decided to wear my new boots and as I looked at the outfit I decided I needed some scarves. All I have is wintery scarves, nothing light. I told April about my need for scarves and she explained where she usually gets hers. I tucked this knowledge away for “another day”. Our conversation was all over, about anything and everything. Then we started to talk about Chipotle and how we both haven’t been there in forever and how it sounded good! Well, it was only 11:00am and we both had no plans for the rest of the day, so we took off to Olympia to treat ourselves to a yummy Mexican lunch! It was amazing! The only downside was the fire alarm briefly went off while we were eating. No one evacuated the building so we assumed that it was a fluke thing. For a few minutes we ate with the deafening alarm. It eventually did turn off and I do believe no hearing damage was permanent. Since we were now in the “big city”, I decided to go scarf shopping! Nothing overboard, I just got two new scarves and it helped to fulfill my need to go fall clothes shopping. We hit Walmart on the way back home, so all items on the to-do list were taken care of.

On Tuesday, my mom offered to take to me to breakfast a local favorite. Again, I had no pressing plans for the day, so it was nice to get out for a short while. Any day that starts with a plate of pancakes is a good day! When I wasn’t out and about hanging with my family, I was home doing things that I love. I tidied the house, read books, wrote in my journal, made no bake cookies for my Wednesday night class, took naps! There was a never a shortage of things to do around the house.

I think the best part of this pre-baby maternity leave is I have plenty of time to go out with those I love, but I also have plenty of time to be quiet around the house. I love staying home, being in my comfy clothes and just working on my to-do list at my own pace. While I know being home with a baby will be different than this current season, I think I could really be one of those stay at home moms in the future. I am so content when I am home. I’m not missing the hustle and bustle of busy days. This has been the perfect way to enjoy the gray days of my favorite season.  I really do love staying home.

 

Joining MOPS, Fall Baking & Maternity Leave September 17, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Cooking Experiments,Parenthood,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 4:55 pm
Fall Baking

Fall Baking

I’m a big fan of pre-baby maternity leave! Originally, my logic was that I wanted to tie up all my loose ends at work. I didn’t want to be in the office one day and out the next having a baby. I knew I would be less stressed if I took care off the details in advance. It certainly made for a busy summer at work because I took care of the fall season at the same time. I feel good about how I left things in the office.  The plan seemed to work. However, I started to think about how I would fill my time once I was maternity leave. If you’ve been following my blog for any length time, you know that I don’t sit around watching TV and eating bonbons.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m using this free time to connect with a lot of people before the baby comes. I’m having my “Social September” and I’m enjoying time with loved ones.

It’s only been two days of “leave” and I’ve managed to do a lot around the house. I have done three major baking projects. The first was a favorite for Jeremy called Hello Dollies. He loves these and I always make them in the fall – usually around the holidays. I wasn’t sure what my holiday season would look like with a new little one, so I made these goodies in advance. He is enjoying some now, but we froze most of them so he can pull them out at will over the next few months. The second project was out of this month’s Food Network Magazine. I had the ingredients for Butterscotch Pecan Blondies and I needed to bring a snack for MOPS this morning. It seemed like a good opportunity to try a new recipe. They were a hit! I think they are slightly addicting so I’m glad I could share them with the MOPS moms and our staff at work. The final project was for my Wednesday night class tomorrow night.  I have fall cookie cutters that I try to use once a season and this was the time. I spent my afternoon making cookies, frosting them and covering them with autumn colored sugar crystals.

Snuggling with the puppy and a good book!

Snuggling with the puppy and a good book!

Other highlights apart from baking, I’ve had plenty of time to clean and tidy my house. My regular cleaning day for the longest time was Wednesday, but the last few weeks it’s been Mondays. I’ve also had time to read and relax with my puppy. I think that Toby is enjoying my new schedule since he gets to be out of the crate more. Yesterday I took an afternoon nap! I try to get those in as often as I can since sleeping at night has become harder.

Today was my first MOPS meeting. I’ve never been involved with MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) because I’ve never been one. I still don’t really feel like I’m a part of the club. Maybe because my baby has yet to be born so the motherhood phase really hasn’t started. MOPS has always been a bit scary for me in the past. Moms intimated me. I’ve been told “Oh, just you wait…” so many times that I feel like they don’t validate my experience working with children. Anyway, this is a new opportunity for me and one that I’m hoping to grow from. Today was a good start, but I’m still unsure how the year will look. I felt like a kid on the first day of school. I really hope the other kids like me… We even had to take pictures for the directory so it felt a lot like back to school. I’m praying this new season of life will open up ministry doors that have been previously closed to me. By actually being a mom in the near future, I pray that I’ll be able connect and relate to this group of women in a new way.

In a lot of ways this season is about slowing down and just enjoying each day as it comes. I know that things will be different once the baby arrives, but for right now I’m just making the most of this pre-baby time. Doing things like baking and having quiet moments around the house really fill me up and give me what I need. In turn, I’m able to be social and add commitments to my calendar that I wouldn’t normally.  Even though I’m “out of the office”, I’m still serving at Bethel and it feels good to keep investing in relationships as we begin a new school year. Things are good. I’m enjoying this time.

 

Social September September 12, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Family Time,Parenthood,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 3:36 pm

I’m on a mission this month! The goal is to hang out with as many people as I possibly can. I’m calling it “Social September”. It’s hunting season right now so my hubby is often at work or out in the woods. This leaves me plenty of time to visit and catch up with others without ignoring him. Plus, this is the last month where I can make plans and only think of my family of two… Soon I will be thinking of my family of three. I know that life won’t stop once I have a baby. I know that lunch, coffee and dinner dates will still happen. But I figured it might not hurt to be good and social before the next season of my life begins.

I’m so blessed by the relationships that color my life. I have a great family on both my side and Jeremy’s side. I have wonderful friends and mentors who I can share my joys and struggles with. I also have a great group of young ladies that I’ve had the pleasure of investing in for the last few years. All these relationships have brought such depth to my life and I truly grateful for each on them.

I am just 30 days away from my due date. I have no clue, obviously, when our little one will come, but I’m taking each day one at a time and making the most of it. I am officially on maternity leave as of today, so my calendar has lightened a bit. This allows me to have the energy to be super social as well as it gives me extra time at home to prepare for baby, to read, to bake, to take a nap, etc. I’m doing things that I love with my time and it feels good.

I’m very excited for this next season of life and I am quite ready to meet our little man. I know that this new season will be special in it’s own way and I look forward to all the new discoveries life will bring. Until this new season officially starts, I’m doing my best to keep doing the things I love with the people I love. Social September is a lot of fun!

 

Office Good-Byes June 11, 2013

Filed under: Recollections,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 7:50 pm
The Bethel Team saying good-bye to Christa

The Bethel Team saying good-bye to Christa

I am blessed to work in an environment where my co-workers are my friends. Especially over the years of ministry together we have built deep relationships and become very close. This is the situation with my dear friend, Christa, who is now leaving our team to move back to her home base in California. When she first was hired at Bethel Church back in 2006, I had been filling in for a month as the receptionist. Once Christa was hired, we shared the role and I was able to go to part-time. This met my needs well because I was a college student finishing my degree as well as actively involved in ministry. This gave me enough hours to contribute to our monthly budget but still have time for school and ministry. It was pretty obvious who was better at the job – it wasn’t me by the way. Christa became the rock star receptionist and really blew me out of the water. Eventually the opportunity came for me to move away from the front desk and start working with Children’s Ministries. This was perfect because CM was my heart’s passion and Christa would have full reign of the front desk – where she continued to thrive and add to the value of the position (because she’s amazing and so much cooler than me).

Because we had always shared the job, we never saw each other. We were just like ships passing. Once I was in a different role, I was actually in the office at the same time as her. This deepened our friendship and relationship to point where we’re at today. Christa has become a forever friend. She is someone that I plan on being close with 30 years from now and beyond. I’ve told her she can’t shake me and so far she doesn’t seem too freaked out by that! Little doesn’t she know what she’s gotten herself into. As I was giving her a good-bye hug today, I reminded her that we now have a lifelong commitment of friendship! It’s a forever thing! I have a close circle of forever friends that no matter where on the planet they land, I will keep in contact with them. Christa is in that circle.

Forever Friends!

Forever Friends!

Christa has kept me sane while I’ve worked at Bethel. Let’s be honest, church ministry can get hairy sometimes and she has been a friend that I trust. She has let me vent and rant at her. She has listened to my logic and told me I’m not crazy even when I’ve felt like I’m losing my mind. As I described her today at her going away party, she has been my padded room. She has been a safe place and a safe person to be real with. I will deeply miss that connection. Not only has she listened to me and loved me, she has made me laugh and provided many a brain breaks for me on busy days. It’s nice to have a buddy down the hall to chat with for a few minutes. Her family was a part of our life group a few years ago and I will greatly miss them as well. I was telling her that when I see her boys next I’m sure there going to be tall and all grown up. It will be hard to not be around for those years to watch them grow and here the funny stories. I’m sure I’ll still hear a funny story from time to time though because remember, she can’t shake me! I’ll need updates!

So this blog is an ode to friendship and to Christa. She has been a life saver for me on more than one occasion. Our similarities have made us close. We really do understand where the other is coming from because we  think the same way. It can eery at times how in sync we are. We share a love of organization and office supplies – two major bonding topics in my book. Overall, we’ve just lived life together for many years. It won’t be the same without her presence daily in my life. I’ve been honest with those around me and said that today is a dramatic day for me. All the emotions of having her leave are on the surface and I’m not even trying to filter them. Thus, I’ve been a bit of a downer as I’ve acted like it is the end of world. While the world will still keep turning, I do wish it would turn with Christa down the hall and not in California.

Christa, thank you for your friendship! Thank for you listening! Thank for you laughing! Thank you for loving! You are a treasure! California is blessed to be getting you back and Washington is mourning. Life won’t be the same. You have been a joy to work with and I am glad that you are more than a co-worker! I’m praying God’s blessing on your family as you move home and start a new season.  Good things are in store for you! You are amazing and replaceable!

I love you!

 

Sleepover and Graduation June 2, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 9:48 am
Game Time

Game Time

This weekend was a BIG weekend for me! Lots of activity! My class sleepover was Friday night through Saturday morning. It went well! I was amazed at how competitive this group is. Every game we played with very intense and loud as a result! The girls had a good time and the whole event went well. I’m always so blessed by the opportunity to invite my class over to my house. I want them to know that I’m not just their teacher on Wednesday night, but that I’m a friend and someone that cares about them all the time. I want them to know that they have access to my life beyond our classroom time. At this point in the year, I’m super attached to my student and as the end of school approaches, it means that many will be moving up and out of my classroom soon. I’m making the most of the moments I have with these girls, because as I’m watching the 1st class I taught graduation from high school, I am all too aware that my time with them is brief. Soon they’ll be middle schoolers then high schoolers and then adults off at college or chasing whatever dream God lays on their heart. It goes faster than I thought!

Celebrating Jessica's Graduation!

Celebrating Jessica’s Graduation!

Speaking of growing up fast, yesterday afternoon was my first graduation of the season. Jessica has been a mentor girl of mine for years. I met Jessica on Easter weekend when she was in 4th grade. It’s hard to believe that she now a graduated senior and so tall! A lot of my students will out grow me in height but I think Jessica is the winner so far! She’s a beautiful dancer with a heart for the Lord. It’s been a privilege to walk beside her through life’s ups and downs these last few years. At her graduation they asked that we hold all applause until the end of reading the names. It was so hard for me not break out in a loud cheer as she walked across that stage and received her diploma. I’m so proud of her!

The one downside of the weekend was the fact that I got about 4 hours of sleep during the sleepover – or lack of sleepover! When I got home from dropping the students off, I started to clean my house which is a must after having my house taken over by pre-teens. The cleaning took a little longer than I hoped and I didn’t have enough time to take a nap before having to get ready for Jessica’s graduation. So up SeaTac I went on 4 hours of sleep. I hurt I was so tired! Sadly, I had planned to go to dinner with Jessica’s family and group of friends, but I had to cancel on those plans. Instead, I was in bed before 8:00pm last night! I don’t think I’ve gone to sleep that early in a long time! I can tell I needed it! I’m grateful for a quiet morning now. My family wasn’t going to be at church today so I’m skipping the 1st service I usually attend. I’ll come in for Children’s Church at the 2nd service hour. A quiet house and relaxed start to the morning is helping me feel like I’m recovering ground after this crazy weekend. However, I wouldn’t change a thing! I love these girls and I’m am so glad my weekend got to be spent with so many lovely ladies!

 

Learning in Layers May 22, 2013

Filed under: One Thousand Gifts Challenge,Recollections,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 10:43 am

I’ve been mulling this post over in mind for a few weeks. I’m finding that as I contemplate about the future, I also have this strong desire to look back and see where the Lord has led me. It’s so evident that his hand has been on my life. Especially, the last year and a half. I had no clue the growth that would take place in my life over the last year, but God has been faithful. I didn’t learn all these lessons at once. Just like layers, God has been removing things from my heart that shouldn’t be there and replacing them with His truth. Most of these lessons I knew in theory, but they were head knowledge, not heart knowledge. I’m finding the best lessons are learned through life experience and often by walking down hard roads. The good news is that the hard roads lead to great places.

A year and a half ago, I was bitter and displeased. I had this restlessness and a desire for more. I wanted everything I didn’t need and it made me unhappy because the things I wanted weren’t panning out. I’m so thankful for the intervention I received because I see now what a slippery slope I was on. My friend and mentor, Pastor Vicki Judd, gave me a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I know I’ve written about this book many times here and you all are probably sick of how much I love this book. However, it’s impossible not to be grateful for the life change this book brought in my life. It took me back to seeing the small things. It brought me to a place of thankfulness, gratitude and contentment. I was so discontent in this season and this book was like medicine that I desperately needed. As a result of this book, I have kept extensive gratitude journals. When I’m tempted to let myself go down that road of discontentment, I am reminded of all the blessings the Lord daily pours into my life. Simple things like having dishes to unload from a dishwasher or having a bed to make or having friends to pray with or a family who loves me comes back to the forefront of my mind and puts me at ease.

At our annual church ladies retreat in April of 2012, we did some assessments to show us our spiritual gifts and our natural personality bents. The purpose to was empower women to serve where they love and to embrace the way God made them.  As an introvert in ministry, I’ve always felt a bit misunderstood, so this was a great exercise to explain to people who I am and how I function. The spiritual gifts assessment really did confirm my love for teaching and investing in people. If I’m doing these things in some capacity, I am doing what God made me to do. The exercise that I was deeply impacted by was when our leader gave us a list with hundreds of words on it. I love words and so the act of cutting down this list into seven core words was quite the challenge for me. However, it was worth the effort and I can see myself in my seven words – acceptance, compassion, courage, encouragement, integrity,  joy and vision. I have these words, as well as my spiritual gifts, as the desktop of my laptop (for about a year now). When I pull my computer up, it’s a reminder. Interesting situation, lately I’ve read a book called The Synergist and one of the categories of leaders in this book is a Visionary. According the books standards, I am not a visionary. However, when it comes to my personal life and my ministry, I value vision. I value having a direction and seeking the Lord for what he is doing. I don’t get swayed very often from my vision – once it’s set, I am working for the goal.  I was feeling kind of a poor about my lack of being a visionary after recently reading this book and re-looking at my lists has just reminded me that I have vision where it counts in my life. That makes me happy.

After this assessment, I felt pretty good about the journey the Lord has taken me on. I was just brimming with excitement for the “big” things I thought God was preparing me for. Oh my, I didn’t realize the next lesson was going to be so hard. After totally affirming who I am, God taught me humility.  Humility was hard and painful. I learned that I  have a lot of pride. I have a lot of big thoughts and big dreams and instead of looking at what was right in front of me, I was always looking to what was next, what I wanted to see happen. Humility taught me a lot about letting go. I learned that I can’t make doors open and I learned that some things aren’t meant to be, at least not in my timing. I had to let go of my expectations for myself. I had to let go of how I taught I was being perceived and just trust God. No more struggling to have my own way. Humility taught me a lot about acceptance. If I was doing what God called me do, it didn’t matter what people thought or what I thought about myself. Humility was the hardest lesson to learn because I learned it by hitting a brick wall. But God was good and he walked me through that season and I am grateful for the change that came in my life.

So now I look forward to a new season. I look forward to raising a family and entering into a different time of ministry. I can see how the Lord has prepared me over this last year to be at this point. I have learned that only person I really need to accept me is God. Even at this year’s ladies retreat, I was reminded that I only need to be defined by God. My life is more than titles and roles. I am more than what I can offer people. I’ve learned the joy of contentment. I have learned that going lower isn’t a horrible punishment. With humility comes freedom. I am free in a lot ways that I never have been. True, it’s easy to pick up those old ways of doing things and those old mindsets, but I am fighting to keep these lessons alive within me. They were worth the time and tears. I’m positive they have set me up for this next season and that they will be a source of strength in my future. God has been faithful to teach me these lessons in layers. Each one adds new depth to my life. I can only imagine what will be next. What an exciting journey!

 

Moving Forward, Moving Backward May 16, 2013

Filed under: Parenthood,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 1:16 pm

There are different seasons in life. Some seasons for moving forward and some for taking steps backward. Realistically all of life is forward motion – but your direction can change. I’m reading a book by lady who used to be a pastor’s wife at our church. She’s gone on to great things. She’s no longer a pastor’s wife and no longer defined solely by her husband’s ministry. I admire the steps of courage she’s taken and where the Lord has led. Her story is incredible and inspiring.

I think as a twenty-somethings, I came into ministry expecting to change the world. I wanted flashy titles and recognition. I wanted to make something of myself and prove to the world that women can really do anything that men do. Now, no flashy titles every happened, but I do feel like I have a made headway in advocating for women in ministry. It might not be on a national level, but in my own way, through conversations and following where the Lord has led me. Ministry can be an addicting lifestyle. It’s not a 9am-5pm job. It’s living in community with a group of people who you love and who will frustrate you and even break your heart. It’s major events and many weekly commitments… oh, and office hours. It has been easy for this one building to become the center of my life.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately – how much my life revolves around my church. Do I really want a building to be the center of my life? I am reminded though that this building represents families that I care about and it represents the call of God on my life. I don’t hang out there because it’s cool and it makes me feel important, I spend time there because I love Jesus and I want to serve his people. There is a big difference between living for Jesus and living for the church calendar.

It’s been an interesting season for me as I ponder a lot about “what next year will look like…” Will I still be able to do this? Will I still attend that? I realize in a lot of ways that I can’t keep serving in the same capacity I am now and enter into the parenthood stage of life. Something has to give. It’s hard to evaluate where I will step back from ministry because I love it and I deeply value the work I do. However, I also deeply value raising children who will know the Lord and will serve Jesus with their whole life. My ministry thus far has been to kids – other people’s kids. Now it’s time to process how I will serve my own kids, how I will lead them and how I will shape them.

I’m excited to move forward into a new season of life. I am excited for a new adventure. I know that raising a family will require a lot of me and maybe my new center will be my home and not the church. I believe serving my family is just as important as serving my community of believers. It seems less glamorous to give up the career stuff and do the family thing, but ultimately I believe that it’s a step in the right direction. I also believe that pulling back for one season doesn’t disqualify me from racing ahead in other seasons. The pastor’s wife I mentioned earlier didn’t jump into these major leadership roles until she had finished raising her family. She put her family first and that didn’t mean that she was disqualified from major influence and major leadership experiences. Different seasons for different stages of life.

Now this isn’t a blog to say that I’m quitting my job to become a full-time stay at home mom – I know my mother-in-law/supervisor at work reads this blog, so don’t misunderstand me. I’m just contemplating how things will be different. My direction in life is about to change. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time. As much as I try to wrap my head around all the changes, I know that it will still be surprising and a walk of faith. I might not know what next year looks like, but I do know that for this upcoming season, my path is changing. I’m thinking more of home. I thought letting go would be harder, but I find that I’m ready for this next chapter. I will try not to figure it all out now and I will try not to stress about questions for which there are no answers. For now, I will contemplate what it looks like to move backward and move forward – all at the same time.

 

A Retreat and A Conference April 26, 2013

Filed under: Parenthood,Travels,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 12:53 pm
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The last seven days have been a bit of a whirlwind for me. The weekend was spent in Seaside, OR for our annual church ladies retreat. I got home on Sunday afternoon and repacked my suitcase so I could take off early Monday morning for Coeur d’Alene, ID. Our pastoral team attended our network’s Annual Conference there. While I don’t want this to be a pregnancy blog, it’s hard not to mention how being pregnant played into these two trips. First off, people treat you differently when you’re pregnant. Going away to the beach with 90 ladies made for a few awkward moments for me. Everyone means well, but I had some crazy moments. It’s hard to not feel like yourself and then to not be treated like yourself. Overall, the biggest downside for me was that I didn’t have enough energy to keep up with the schedules and the hopping from retreat to conference was just a little too much. Lucky for me, I have no plans for today! It’s been a total recovery day! I’m staying in my pajamas and catching up on recorded TV shows. Of course, I’m doing laundry, but I’m letting the house wait until tomorrow.

A Gray Weekend at the Beach!

A Gray Weekend at the Beach!

Starting off with ladies retreat, the theme this year was “Dare to be:____”. The purpose was to fill in the blank with whatever you felt that the Lord was laying on your heart. I was really stressed about filling in this blank, because honestly I had no clue what I was going to put there and at the end of the conference you were supposed to turn in a card with the blank filled in. My perfectionist side knew I had to come up with something because just like a homework assignment I couldn’t leave it empty. I had joked with a friend that I should put dare to be a mom. It was just a joke but then I found myself being pressured to put that answer, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want a word that would put me in a box. I’m a little tired of being put in boxes. It’s too hard to define me by one aspect of my life. It’s too multi-layered. After a lot of thinking and praying, I came up with this: Dare to be defined by God alone. It was perfect! I have been feeling the weight of my many roles lately and wondering how I’m going to add “mother” to the mix. It was overwhelming me. I decided that I’m done being labeled. I’m done trying to fit into boxes. I’m done trying to be one thing or another. I’m ready to just let the Lord speak to me and have his love define my life. To him, I am more than I what I can offer people. Seriously, let that sentence sink in, I am more than what I can offer people! I live my life thinking about how I can serve my church, serve my family, serve my husband, serve my friends, and now serve this little life growing inside me. But who am I apart from these things? When it’s just me and Jesus? I needed to be taken back to that base level relationship where I am just me. Being just me is okay with God. He loves me and made me this way. He wants a relationship with me because I am his special creation – no other reason! It’s time to make things simple.

A Sunny Week on the Lake!

Annual Conference was held in Coeur d’Alene, ID this year which is a beautiful lake side city I visited over a decade ago and loved. I was so excited to return there! The only downside is that the conference was held all day and then the evenings were filled with dinners out. By the time dinner was over it was usually between 8-9pm and I had been going for 12+ hours. All I wanted to do was go back to the hotel and go to bed.  This conference could have happened anywhere because I didn’t really do much in Coeur d’Alene besides attend the conference, eat and sleep. I was so tired after the late nights at the ladies retreat and the long days, that I was a bump on a log most of the time. Darn pregnancy energy level.  Annual Conference is meant to inspire pastors and propel them forward in ministry. This year was hard on me. As everyone is dreaming of plowing forward in ministry, I’m contemplating scaling back so I can raise a family. I still plan on being involved in ministry -I’ll continue to teach and lead beside Jeremy, but I also plan letting some things go. My biggest fear is that our child will feel second place to our jobs and I don’t want them to hate the church and hate God as a result of that. I want to be intentional to put my family first. Honestly, I don’t know how that looks yet. I’m not sure what things will work for our family and what won’t. All I know is that my life is going to look different. It was hard in an environment where everyone is pushing forward to know that I’m going to be pulling back. There can be some guilt that comes with that. Logically I know that raising a family is an extremely spiritual endeavor and that I’m going to be more accountable for raising my kids than leading a ministry. My head and my heart struggled with priorities and where I am going and what my life is going to look like.

I could have gone into detail about the weather and the hotel rooms and the food we ate, but I thought I would get to the heart of the matter. This week away brought up more within me than I expected. It was rough stuff at times as I processed, prayed and sought the Lord for direction in my life. I wasn’t a social butterfly,which I felt bad about, but this year is different. I’m in a different spot and my life is going to keep changing in ways that I can’t even expect or imagine. There is nothing wrong with where I am at and I know that many ladies have been in my place trying to figure out that same balance and wondering how they can do it all. I’m realizing that I probably won’t be be able to do it all, but that is okay. As I let myself be defined by God alone, I have a feeling that there is going to be amazing freedom to just me! I’m excited for that! Praying I can walk in that daily and let go of all the other definitions and expectations!