Amy Scott's Thoughts

Sharing the thoughts that bounce around in my brain!

Me again! March 13, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Cooking Experiments,Family Time,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 2:15 pm

I couldn’t help but laugh yesterday when we got invited out to dinner. Of course, I wanted to see family while they were in town, but that would put my “plans with other people streak” up to 9 social days in row. I’m not sure that is a record, but it’s been a crazy week and a half. Anything but routine. However, that leads me to today. Wednesday. Yes, I’ll have class tonight, but today I feel like myself again and that my life has somewhat gone back to normal.

When I get super busy I notice that I don’t read and write as much. In fact, the last few weeks I really haven’t the desire to pick up a book. Strange, I know. I’ve learned that I only have so much energy and when I choose to invest it being social a lot of the things that feed my introverted soul get push to the wayside.  It’s been a great day for me to journal. I miss my times with a pen in hand or spent at the keyboard (like right now). I also gave a couple hours to reading. Surprisingly, I went from having no books I’m interested in to a pile sitting on the window sill next to me. This feels normal! This feels like the Amy I know so well.

I also had time to make a class snack. I’ve been going a bit retro in my class snacks.  Last week it was no-bake cookies from my 1963 church cook book and today it was Rice Krispie Treats. Out of the blue, they sounded so good! I can’t remember the last time I’ve made them! My favorite part of the process would be cleaning up the bowl with a spoon after it’s all said and done! I can’t let those small krispies covered in marshmallow go to waste, now can I? I’ll do my best not diving into the pan before I have a chance to share them with the girls!

I don’t want people to get me wrong. I’ve had a delightful time socializing over the last week. On Sunday I had a tasty dinner and dessert with my parents and sister. You can’t beat the combo of Chipotle and Menchies! They are a match made in heaven. Monday I met with a children’s pastor from down south. The great thing is we are around the same age and in the same line of work. Living in rural Lewis County means my interaction with other female ministers is limited to non-existent. I really enjoyed getting to know her and I do believe we will meet again in the future. After one coffee date it was off to another, I met with my mentor, Vicki, since I was in her neck of the woods. It was great to catch up since I hadn’t seen her a while. I love my times with her because she encourages me so much. No matter what she is cheering me on and telling me that I can do it. It’s nice to have someone believe in you even if you are unsure of yourself. Like I mentioned at the beginning, yesterday was dinner with Jeremy’s brother while he was over on this side of the mountains. It was a great meal and I’m always glad for an opportunity to see out of town family members.

Today is a short break. A calm to be me and do what I do best. Tomorrow I have a breakfast meeting with another children’s pastor. It’s blind date week for me since I haven’t met either of these children’s pastors before. As valuable as networking can be, I’m always a little on edge when meeting someone for the first time. I have my own insecurities I  have to deal with. Tomorrow night is our local AG business meeting. The nice part is that it will take place at one of my favorite Chinese restaurants! General Tso’s Chicken here I come! So as you can see, even a busy schedule has its perks.  I have a feeling that March will continue at this pace with a Pinewood Derby this weekend and our giant Easter Eggstravaganaza quickly approaching. I’m thankful though for quiet days where I can read and write and make childhood treats for my girls. These days are the ones that hold me together. I finally feel like me again! Here’s hoping the feeling sticks around!

 

Professor for a day and other happenings! March 9, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Family Time,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 2:42 pm

I told you I would give an update on how teaching a college class went. Here it is… It went great. The class was small – only three young ladies, but that was okay with me. It made for a very informal and conversational environment. We were talking about some heavy topics in children’s ministry so it was great to have that focused time with them. The awesome thing about being a partner with Jeremy in ministry is that opportunities like this are available to me. Because I do a lot of mentoring and personal meetings with students, I had plenty of real life examples to accompany the chapters in the book we were discussing. I love sharing with young people that I am an ordained Assemblies of God minister. It’s not about being cool, but I hope it inspires them to do the same thing and get credentialed. I’m not just a wife or administrative assistant, I am pastor at the front lines. I always want that to be clear. It was an excellent opportunity to share my passion of pastoral care with these college students. Jeremy and I make a wonderful team and between the two of us, we were never searching for something to say next. The time flew by! I was a little concerned that we would fill it all and it happened effortlessly. God is good. They told us we covered the chapters more thoroughly than any of the other subs had done in the past. We felt good that we have given them some solid things to think about. I’m learning more and more that it’s easy to talk about my own personal experiences. I don’t have to be a brilliant teacher, I just have to share what I’ve learned from walking down this path a little farther along in the journey. I love teaching. So who knows, maybe in a few years down the road this whole college professor things might be something worth pursuing. I’ll need to get my master’s degree first, but honestly, I love school and learning. There are so many options and potential for the future. Teaching this class was a win for me and I’m glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone to do it.

Uncle Jeremy playing with the kiddos!

Uncle Jeremy playing with the kiddos!

As, I mentioned in my last post, this week has been a very social one for me. Jeremy joked that people are going to think I’m lying when I say that I’m an introvert. Well, I am not lying. I am just a friendly introvert. It’s been so fun to have family in town this week. After our day in Seattle, Jeremy and I drove back home to hang out with his parents and our niece and nephew. Jeremy hadn’t seen the kids yet, so it was a lot of fun to watch him interact with them. He is a wonderful uncle! Yesterday, we drove down south to have dinner with Jeremy’s brother and his wife. We got dressed up and went to a nice restaurant. It was a lot of fun. Nice to do a date night and go all out! Today my friend, Kaly, and her son, Lucas, come over for brunch and to inspect our new floors. It’s fun to have people over to take a peek at the floors. I had fun playing with Lucas on our new area rug. He loves remotes and coasters. The simplest things can be so entertaining. I also had a great time catching up with Kaly since she doesn’t live in the area so we only see each other once a month or so. She was down visiting her parents. I always appreciate when she includes me in her weekend plans!

Enjoying a dinner out!

Enjoying a dinner out!

The busy life just keeps moving onward. Tomorrow Jeremy’s dad is coming over to help Jeremy assemble his new green house. Jeremy is like a kid at Christmas! We’ll have dinner with my parents and sister tomorrow night as well. Monday, I have two meetings down south. One with another children’s pastor and one with an old friend and mentor. I guess the social streak will be 8 days in a row. Not bad for a little introvert.

 

Social Week March 6, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Family Time,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 1:48 pm

Even as an introvert, I  do have some weeks where it seems like there is always something going on and people to see. This is one of those weeks. It’s all good fun stuff and I’m getting to hang out with some great people.

One Last Meeting

One Last Meeting

Monday, I met with my A/G Network mentor before she leaves for Africa later this month. We’ve been meeting for about a year on a monthly basis. At first it was a little strange meeting with someone that I’ve never met before. Since she’s been in missions her whole life, I wasn’t sure if we would have anything in common. The great thing is that there is a lot you can learn from people who have walked different roads in life. She’s been able to offer me a whole different perspective on ministry. Plus, she has really great stories about living with no power and running water from time to time. I admire our missionaries so much and what they are willing to do to share the gospel around the world. Her heart and commitment to Africa are inspiring. It was sad to say “good-bye” to our monthly meetings, but thanks to technology, I know we’ll keep in touch. Monday was also a Growth Group night for me so I had some ladies over for our study on One Thousand Gifts. It was a full day!

Hangin' with my niece!

Hangin’ with my niece!

Yesterday, I got the joy of having breakfast with sister-in-law, Andrea, and her kiddos!  It was a great morning. We had doughnuts, which I totally can’t remember the last time I had one. Very tasty! My nephew taught me how to play stick golf on his mom’s phone. Let it be known that anything related to golf I am extremely poor at and this game was no exception. Lucky for me, Carson cheered really loud when I finally got the ball in the hole. It made it worth it. Since this branch of the family tree lives three hours away, it’s always a special treat to see them and hang out.

Today, my sister came over for lunch. I made french toast and she chatted with me while I made no-bake cookies for my class snack. Even though we live within a half hour of each other, her school and work schedule can sometimes be opposite of mine. It was fun to catch up on life and just chill and relax. One of the great things about hanging out with April is that there really is no frills necessary. We sit, we talk, we eat. Nothing fancy. I don’t mind being that kind of hostess!

The big day of the week will be tomorrow when Jeremy and I teach a class at Northwest University. Just call me Professor Amy! Jeremy and I went over the material this morning and I think we’re set. Now we just got to do it. Hopefully it goes well and I can add it to the list of things I’ve accomplished. It’s just one day… I do realize it’s not the same thing as teaching a semester. Baby steps. After the class, we’ll see if traffic allows me to go to a family party that evening. So the socialness just keeps on coming!

Friday we have a dinner plans down south with Jeremy’s brother and his wife. I haven’t seen them in a long time, so it will be great to catch up. We’re going to a new restaurant for Jeremy and I. It will be a bit of a food adventure. I like checking out new places.

I will admit that Saturday is looking pretty good to me. Yes, I will still have church in the evening, but I’ll have the ability to stay in pajamas until late afternoon if I want to. I’ll need a little down time after all this socializing. It’s a good week filled with fun opportunities with awesome people. I probably won’t have much time for blogging, but I promise to let you know how the teaching experience goes. Maybe this will inspire me to get my master’s degree and become a college professor…. who knows!

 

Comfort Cookies and Other Things I Need February 6, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Cooking Experiments,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 3:44 pm

My day hasn’t turned out the way I expected. It hasn’t been bad, but it’s had a few bumps that I didn’t foresee. It seems like my week has been a bit bumpy as well. I keep trying to stay on top of it all and I just don’t feel like I’m keeping up.  So in order to avoid a panic attack, here are the few things keeping me together.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies!I wasn’t sure I was going to have time to make a snack for my class tonight, but things fell into place and I was able to home this afternoon. I decided to make Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies because oatmeal and chocolate are some homey and yummy and comforting. I needed to make something that would feed my soul and these cookies are the ticket. I had just enough oatmeal on hand and they turned out great. Tonight is a snack that I made for myself more than the girls and that is okay.

Prayer has been the one constant in my life over the last week. While I’m pretty routine with my prayer time, it seems like this last week I’ve stepped it up. When you’re empty, the one place to fill up is at the feet of the Father. This morning especially I took a lot of time to read my Bible and pulled out my prayer journal to pen all my thoughts to the Lord. Throughout my day, the constant connection to the Lord is what brings peace and assurance to my heart. When I talk with God it reminds me how small I am and I how I really can’t do this without him. Prayer has been sustaining my life and giving feet to my faith. Without it, I’m sure I would fall apart.

When the stress level rises I turn on the music. I’ve been listening to Switchfoot and The Rocket Summer. I love losing myself in lyrics and singing along to these heart songs. As the music fills my home I find myself relaxing and my blood pressure lowering.

I’ve been rereading some great books by authors I dearly love and have touched my heart. I’m reading both Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  Both books are celebration of life and about finding light in the dark. It’s so good for me to be reminded. God is here in the small moments of my daily life. His gifts sustain me and I continue to count them because they are like bread, they give me life. Authors can good friends and I’ve been hanging out with some the best buddies through the page.

However, I can’t spend my entire life making cookies, listening to good music and reading soulful books. Today is Wednesday which means ministry. I have dinner with a young student whose family is going through some very serious trials. I’m not exactly sure what to tell this tender heart as we converse.  I will do my best to encourage her and to give her peace. I’m praying for God’s words because mine seem so flat and not enough. This situation is bigger than us and that means we need to give it to God. I hope I can help her see that God is walking beside her each second of this difficult journey. After dinner it will be time for church and I will see my class of girls for the first time in two weeks. The cold had me down last week, so I’m happy to rejoin them. Today is a week before the sleepover deadline so I’ll be nagging them pretty hard to get those permission slips in.  I also feel like such an adult when I remind them of deadlines.

Speaking of being an adult, I still need to clean the kitchen up from my cookie baking! Signing out!

 

Growth Group Time February 2, 2013

Filed under: One Thousand Gifts Challenge,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 9:46 pm

It seems like time flashes forward when I blink. Or maybe it has something to do the fast that most of my life been lived on the couch since last Monday. I don’t know, but all of the sudden I find myself in the month of February with a Growth Group about to start on Monday evening. Oh my! Where did all the time go? This was always so out in the distance. Now it’s here. I’m not sure I’m ready.

One thing is for sure, my house isn’t ready. Because of the great illness, I haven’t touched my house in a good long time. It’s not often my floors go a week without vacuuming (at this point you are either worried or impressed). My game plan for tomorrow is to clean the house and then probably take a nap. Since I’ve been down with this bug my energy level has popped back up yet. There is something about a clean house that sets my mind at ease. There are very few things I control in life and the tidiness of my house is one of them – except when I sick and that even goes out the window. I think having things fresh and tidy will signify that my days of being down are over and I’m ready to reengage in life. I keep telling myself this – here’s hoping my body agrees (as of today the bug is still slightly fighting me – I will rejoice when I no longer need kleenex handy).

Originally I was brainstorming what things to provide for food. At any social gathering, I was taught that the more food provided is better (Thanks Dad for that lesson – now I always overfeed people). I want something to be homemade because that seems thoughtful, but at the same time the only homemade things I make are baked goods and women seem to stay away from those. Maybe a plate of cookies and I’ll stop by the store for a veggie tray. I don’t know. I want to a good balance. Something sweet and something healthy. Don’t even get me started on beverages. My house is so low on liquids. We have a strange K-Cup assortment, water and A-1 sauce… Just kidding about the last one. But really water is classic, right?

As you can tell I’m over-thinking the details. It won’t be a Martha Stewart approved gathering, but who cares! The biggest things that are weighing mind would be along the lines of I really don’t know the ladies that are attending this group and from the little I do know, they are older than me. And my fear of leading adults rears its ugly head yet again. Kids are easy. Adults are scary.  I guess I’m using this blog to ask for PRAYER! I’m not sure how this is going to go, but I’m jumping in. It feels like head first. I pray that I can let my fears subside and trust God that it will all work out. I guess if I show up and engage then God will work out the rest. This could be a great opportunity to deepen relationships at Bethel Church with women who I don’t usually come in contact with.

Oh another funny thing – I have no idea what I’m going to do with the dog and the husband. Both will be home at this point. Toby can be a little crazy when guests first arrive. Dumb dog. He calms down after a while, but he really lacks in the first impressions department. Jeremy really doesn’t want to be around while his house is invaded by women. We don’t have a great man cave or spot for him to hide, so he might be in the bedroom for the evening. My guess is he’ll move the Xbox so he can play Halo and shoot people while we have our Growth Group on the other side of the wall. What a contrast!

Whatever happens, happens. God is good and it will all work out. I just need to take a few deep breaths and trust that I’m not in over my head. Even if I am in over my head, that is when God does some of his best work. So join in me in prayer as I prepare for this new experience. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!

 

What Goes Around… January 28, 2013

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 8:45 pm

I’m not sure if it’s Children’s Ministry or just working at a church in general, but I get exposed to a lot of bugs. January has been a pretty illness prone month for our staff at Bethel and the Scott household seems to be no exception. At the beginning of the month it was the flu. I only got a touch of it, but my hubby got it bad. Now it’s my turn to go down, not with the flu, but with a terrible sore throat. The strange thing  is seemingly came out of nowhere.

This weekend I preached in Children’s Church because our curriculum had us at Deborah, Barak and Jael. I just couldn’t pass up a chance to empower our young girls. I’m a firm believer that Deborah is a prime example of God giving leadership to women. I also think it’s impressive that Jael was so brave and received the honor for the victory. After preaching my voice felt horse and I thought I was just a weakling who over used my vocal chords. In the middle of my afternoon plans, my throat started to hurt and hasn’t stopped since.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the conversation I had with a student yesterday… She came up to me at the beginning of worship and asked me what to do because she has strep. I told her to listen to the music and in her heart follow along and tell God how much she loves him. I was assuming that she was fine to be at church, but now I wonder…

I also have a friend who was down last week with a cold and still getting over it… I tried to keep my contact limited, but…. Oh well, I guess that is the thing about a church job. It’s hard to keep your distance from people. Let’s face it, people show up at places all the time when they should be at home in bed. I do it too. We push ourselves, especially when it comes to church because it would be unholy or we want to see our friends or we don’t want to let some down when we should stay home. I’m sure people do the same thing with work and sending their kids to school. We just don’t have time to be sick. I know I don’t.

However, I am sick. It doesn’t matter where I got it. I’ve spent the day watching mindless movies on Netflix and trying to not swallow. Watching mindless movies is not so bad, but I’m finding that unless I want to lay in a pile of my own drool, swallowing is a must. Arg. Here’s hoping this bug goes away as quickly as it found it me. I’ve heard of the 24 flu so many this will be the 24 hour cold. I’m just praying against strep throat. The last thing I need to a trip to the doctor and meds.

Okay, I think this qualifies as the most productive I’ve been today. I should probably sign out before I undo all the good I did by resting all day. It seems like no matter what – what goes around seems to find me. Thank you children of Bethel Church for shooting holes in my immune system. I can’t say that I love sharing every bug with you, but I guess I’d rather get it from people I love.

Time to read a book in a bed. Praying for a sore throat free day tomorrow! Who knows, it could happen! I believe in miracles and healings! Amen!

 

Staycation December 19, 2012

Filed under: Family Time,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 10:45 pm

Every year our church office closes in between Christmas and New Year. It’s always a blessing and I appreciate this time off so much. For the last few years, Jeremy and I have taken the last of his vacation days before this week off. This allows for about 2 weeks off around the holidays. I will admit that I’m like a school kid – I LOVE the Christmas break. It’s perfect for visiting with friends and family.

Lots of people have asked what we planned do with our time off. I think most assumed we would travel or something, but nope. We’re doing a staycation. It’s been so relaxing! Monday, I was able to clean my house because I had been putting it off. I  did a lot of reading as well. Jeremy is now the proud owner of an Xbox, so we did some bowling and table tennis with the Kinect. It was lots of fun just to be chill and hang out.

Monday night we also watched White Christmas and then within minutes of finishing the movie, it started to snow here. It was perfect! Both Jeremy and I love to watch snowflakes fall, so we just stared out the window in happiness. Monday night, we also put our one month free trial of Hulu Plus into action. I will now admit that I’ve joined the many who watch Downton Abbey. It’s been so good to have a new show to watch. I’ve certainly had the time this week!

Snowflake Lane!

Snowflake Lane!

Tuesday was a lot of Downton Abbey and then Jeremy, my sister, and I went up north to see Snowflake Lane! It’s a holiday music and lights show on one of the main streets by Bellevue Square. They make it “snow” every night during the show. Now, I know we had just seen real snowflakes that day, so it wasn’t quite the same thing, but it was still a pretty cool effect. It turns out that they use soap suds. I would have never thought of that. Before the show, we had a different meal at The Cheesecake Factory. We opted to eat out of the patio (in December) so we could be seated right away. They had their heaters on, but it was still cold enough to keep my jacket on while eating. It was interesting to be the street and hear the Christmas music playing and the people bustling by. It was very cold on the street for the show, so we warmed up by walking around the mall a bit and getting hot beverages at Starbucks! I have to get as many red cups as I can!

Today I did a little bit of work by having lunch with a friend to talk with her about Growth Groups at our church. It was a good lunch and I was glad for the opportunity to catch up with her and help her find a place to serve at Bethel Church. I always get passionate about encouraging people to find the right fit in the church. Serving is just so life giving. I stopped by the office to drop off some stuff and pick up a few things. It was fun to say hi to everyone and get hugs! I was quickly on my way back home to hang out with my hubby and of course, watch more Downtown Abbey.

I’m not really sure what the rest of my staycation looks like…. probably a lot more reading and maybe more fiddling with Hulu. I have a coffee date tomorrow with my network mentor. It will be a little bittersweet because it might be the last time I meet with her before she heads back to the mission field in Africa. I’ve been so blessed to get to know her. I know her prayers have been with me and mine I have been with her.  I will certainly miss my times with her. On a happier note, I hope to drive around looking at Christmas lights one of these evenings. That is something I love to do every year. As for traditions and hopes, many have been fulfilled over the last week and I’m really pretty happy and well-rested! It’s been a great staycation and I’m sure it will keep being awesome!

 

Signing Out November 6, 2012

Filed under: Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 7:35 pm

Today was a big day. I am super tired, but that’s good, in the sense that I literally gave it all I got and them some. For those of you who are wondering about my MOPS speaking engagement, I’m pleased tell you it went well. The group was much smaller than I had anticipated. While that might make some speakers sad, it put me at ease. It didn’t seem as daunting.  I was nervous about hanging out at MOPS. I thought it would be awkward, but it really wasn’t. The table I sat at welcomed me and put me at ease. By the time I got up to speak, I wasn’t even nervous. I feel like the presentation went well. The short clip I showed made a few of the ladies tear up. I always view crying ladies as a good sign, because that means they were touched by it. I was able to convey what I wanted and the time factor wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought. So yes, I would put this experience in the WIN category! Hurray! It wasn’t as painful as I expected, but I’m glad to have it behind me. The cutest thing is I got text right as I sat down from my husband telling me that I had done a good job. Now Jeremy wasn’t in the room, so I asked him how he knew. He told me that he was listening in the hallway. How cute/creepy is that? It made me happy to know that he was there cheering me on, even if I couldn’t see him.

I think the combination of Fall Fest mixed with a speaking engagement has left me a little empty. Not in a bad way, but I realize that I need to start filling the bank back up. I’ve read some amazing books lately that have deeply impacted me and now I think it’s time to throw a novel into the mix – something fluffy. We’ll be gone this weekend at a conference and visiting family. While that might not be restful, it will be a chance to get out of town and routine. I’ve decided to go off the grid for a while and sign out. I’m going to take a blogging break and a Facebook break. I decided that my life isn’t so important that people will freak out without my updates and insights. I just need to get away and get some fresh air. I need to do silly things and I need to let myself off the hook.

I’ve contemplated doing a semi-media fast for a while and I get hung up, because I really do love writing here and I like posting status updates and showing people my life through pictures. I guess I’m just realizing  that it’s not mission critical. You don’t need to know my every move. And honestly, I don’t need the constant information download.

I guess this is good-bye for a while (about week or so). Don’t worry, I’ll come back. I just need some down time. I need to sign out. Life is too short to spend my time scrolling through news feeds and worrying about what people think of me. I’m sure the world keep turning even if I’m not informed about everyone’s happenings. If something is worth sharing, I’m sure my friends and family will call me or text me. I’m not hiding from the world, I just don’t feel like sharing right now. It’s not permanent, so check back in shortly!

Signing out!

 

Dealing with Nerves: The Drama of Public Speaking November 4, 2012

Filed under: One Thousand Gifts Challenge,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 2:34 pm

I will be the first to admit that I’m a nervous person and I worry way more than I should. I feel like over the last few years I’ve been making progress in accepting how out of control I am. It makes me realize just how BIG of a factor God is in my life. I’m learning that trusting him means stopping my worry cycle and really putting aside my anxious thoughts. If I worry all the time then I’m pretty much saying I don’t trust God to come through for me and that the weight of everything is on me. Let’s be honest, worrying very rarely makes things better and improves the outcome of things… but still, it’s so hard. It comes so naturally. I have to be really intentional if I want to derail the worrisome train of thought I have running in  my mind.

With that being said, this Tuesday is really stressing me. I’ve been asked to speak at our church MOPS group about gratitude and what I’ve learned through counting gifts. Anyone who has been following my blog for sometime knows that I’ve read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp three times. You know that I’m on my way to counting 4000 gifts. I don’t do this because I’m a pro at it – I keep doing it because that is how long it’s taken me to get this! And truthfully, I still haven’t and I probably never will. This is one of the reasons why I feel completely unqualified.

My next big hang up is I’m scared of speaking to adults, especially moms. This might seem strange, but moms really scare me. They are like a part of this club that I’m not a member of. I work with kids all the time, but they say stuff like “Just wait until you have kids” and “You’ll understand when you’re a mom”. When I hear things like this it makes me feel like they are so much smarter than me and that I have nothing to say to them. They are on a whole different plain of being, one that I won’t understand until I join the club. It’s difficult for me because I’m so worried that I’ll say something that will elicit the look (the one that says “You don’t even know”) along with a just wait statement. I’m not even talking about something related to mothering, but the whole mom club is a group that I’m just not comfortable with.  I’m totally freaking out!

The thing that really getting to me the most is speaking for 45 minutes. I’ve taught at a conference workshop alongside Jeremy. I’ve team preached on Mother’s Day with two great ladies. I’ve never been responsible for 45 minutes of time all on my own. As I’ve been preparing my thoughts and notes, I’ve been blown away at how the length of time is a game changer for me. I’m used to splitting things up between people. I’m used to trying to keep my part down to a certain amount of time. Now I find myself trying to fill time. I’m used to practicing out loud word for word what I’m planning on saying. With 45 minutes, this tasks seems so much harder than I’m used.

Okay, now that I’ve whined, I’ll bring it home with the good church girl responses – I believe them in my heart… I just wish my stomach would get on board and stop feeling like I could throw up. I know that God is right beside me through all this and that he’ll help me through. I believe that it’s important to do things that feel bigger than yourself so God can show up and blow your mind. Doing something bigger than yourself means you have to rely on God because there is no way you can do it alone. Every time I start to feel like I should breathe into a paper bag, I’m reminded that I’m not doing this by myself. I’m sharing this presentation with God. There is a good chance I might fail… There is a good chance that 25 minutes in I might be starting at the floor trying to make the time stretch. These are very real possibilities. I just don’t want fear to keep me from growing. I don’t want fear to stop me from trying.

Tuesday could be the best day ever and be the next step in my development as a public speaker. Tuesday could go terribly wrong. I might be scarred and need counseling. One thing is true – I will not be alone. No matter what happens when I’m up front, God will be with me. His love won’t change based on how well I do. I just need to trust him. I need to let go of the nerves and just believe that he is good all the time,  no matter what, regardless of my personal performance. This is good news. I just have it keep repeating it to myself!

 

When God Reads My Blog! October 20, 2012

Filed under: Children's Ministry,Women in Ministry — Amy Scott @ 2:03 pm

More pumpkin fun!

Okay, so I know that God knows all the thoughts in my head before I think them, so nothing comes as a surprise to him and he really knows me – in a weird, deep down, I would probably be freaked out if I really knew how much kind of way. My last blog post was all about pumpkins and how much I love them and all the wonderful pumpkin treats I’ve eaten this month. I also mentioned that I haven’t pumpkin pie yet. No joke, within 24 hours I was at a luncheon that served pumpkin pie for dessert! I could have laughed out loud. In fact, I think I might have. No one knew that I’d just been blogging about pumpkin pie. It was like God saying, “See, I know you!” It might seem silly, but moments like that just make me feel special and loved. I know that in the grand scheme of things like pumpkin pie aren’t a big deal, but I can see God in the little things, the small blessings. Pie made me feel loved! God must read my blog…

Life has been moving it’s normal rapid pace. The luncheon I mention was for the ministers in our local AG section. I was really scared that I was going to be the only lady there, but I was happily surprised to see that I wasn’t alone – one other lady attend. It’s hard being a female minister in a section that has only 4 credentialed women (including myself). I keep asking those above me and praying that there is something I do to see this number grow. I know that’s difficult due to our rural location. I guess I’ll keep praying. Maybe some great idea or opportunity will present itself eventually. I really want to be a voice for women in ministry, but it’s hard to be a voice when it seems like their is no one to speak to.

The great thing about ministry is that you are never really alone. After that luncheon, I had dinner plans with my AG network mentor. She and her husband are home from Africa and she’s been such a blessing to me. She offers a different perspective of ministry and she understands what it can be like to be a credentialed women in a male dominated environment. I’m glad that even though I’m not surround by a ton of other female ministers, I am surround by a handful and they keep me going and inspire me.

Jessica was a beautiful butterfly!

Not only do I love being mentored, but I love the process of mentoring! Last night I was at the theater cheering on Jessica, one of the girls I mentor. Jessica and I met while she was still in children’s ministries and we’ve maintained our friendship ever since. Now she is a senior and doing a production on the same stage that I did a production my senior year. While practicing at the theater, she saw my name on the cast poster for Les Miserables. I didn’t even realize that my name was somewhere in that hallway. Moments like that make me feel like the roots I have in this community have been worth it. It’s been a joy getting to know my students through the years. It’s a special treat to share the same stage or the same milestones in the same locations. Sometimes I get jealous of those who have moved away to the big cities. I wish that I could get to Costco in 10 minutes, not 45… but then these moments come when staying put makes sense and I can see the fruit of deep roots.

I have been seen by a loving God who cares about smallest and silliest things. I have been empowered and mentored. I have been encouraged to stay the course and keep loving people right where I’m at. I am pouring myself into a kids that will affect this community and for that, I am grateful for roots. I am thankful for the whole process. I am thankful for time – time spent developing, growing and going deeper!