In my post yesterday, I shared a small bit about friendship and the new season I am in. I almost instantly regretted putting my thoughts out there because I didn’t want you all to think I am horrible person or a flaky friend. I tend to overthink things and my anxiety kicked in. To see exactly what I wrote yesterday, click here. I did add an update to my post yesterday, but those of you who get my posts via email wouldn’t see that. So let’s pick up where the conversation left off.
I explained yesterday that as I add new relationships to my life through new opportunities, I might have to let a few relationships go. I am totally the person who makes plans with everyone. I keep up with my people. While I value all the people I have in my life, I am curious if I stopped initiating plans, how many would reach out to me. I often wonder if some of my friendship are kept alive simply because I ask to hang out.
Now here is the part I want to clarify – if someone needs me, I will be there. I am a loyal friend. If I notice a friend who needs love and encouragement, I will be reach out. In my post yesterday, I was talking more about figuring out who my fringe friends are and how those relationships may be replaced through being in a new season.
The truth is we all have seasonal friends. We have people who we are around so we are friends with them. And then when we are no longer in the same place, the friendship fizzles. And that’s okay. For me this process started with moving as a middle school student. Some friendships didn’t survive that move. Then the transitions from high school to college – from college to work – from work to motherhood. And now from preschool to elementary school. My crowd changes with each of these seasons and as a result so do my friends.
Now I am blessed to have friends who have stuck with me through all the seasons. My forever friends who will never be able to shake me. We have history and we have gone deep together. These friends are non-negotiable. I will always pursue them. I also know that they will always pursue me. The feeling is mutual. I believe in the power of a few core friends. I would rather have a few deep friends then a bunch of surface friends. That’s just how I’m wired.
We had a group of ladies speak at MOPS & MOMSnext on Monday. They helped start the MOPS group that I am currently involved in. After all these years – 16, I believe, they are still friends and MOPS brought them together. Their story is a powerful story of finding your people and how MOPS can be that place. I love having them speak at the beginning of the year because it encourages our ladies to keep showing up for MOPS & MOMSnext. Friendships are built over time and they are worth the investment.
The message that I got from the guest speakers at MOPS & MOMSnext was two fold. The first was find your core people. Life is better when you have friends on the journey with you. Friends who pray with you, who lift you up, who encourage you and don’t walk out when your life gets tough. They sit in the muck and the mire with you. And you do the same for them. They also shared that seasonal friendship are okay too. Not all friendship will last a lifetime. It resonates with me that some friends might not be lifetime friends, but they were the friends I needed in the moment. We are a part of each others stories even if we are just in a few chapters and not the whole book.
Friendship is important to me. I am blessed by many wonderful women and families that I get to do life with. I am thankful for the moms from MOPS & MOMSnext. I am thankful for the families we hang out with at church and in our homes. I am thankful for the core friends and mentors who have been there for me for going on decades. I am thankful for family members who are also friends as well as relatives. My life has an abundance of good people cheering me on and loving my family. Friendship is such a blessing. While I might be learning a new way of balancing life, friendship will always remain a value of mine.
Since we’ve been watching a lot of Toy Story, I’ll leave you with this – You’ve Got A Friend In Me!