On Wednesday, we received news that our buyers were formally backing out of the sale of our home. This was the expected outcome after we arrived at an impasse over closing costs. Almost immediately, our home was back on the market. We even have a showing tomorrow. I don’t want to take a ton of time to discuss this closed door. The main thing I can say is I feel weird. I’m still in my house. We didn’t close today. I don’t feel like I belong here. I spent so much time and energy saying good-bye. I had prepared in every way to leave and then we didn’t… Now it just feels off. Like outgrowing something… I am grateful that we didn’t move just to find out that the house wasn’t sold. I would feel awful imposing on the hospitality of my in-laws while I had a perfect good house sitting empty a few miles away. Overall, this could be for the best. While it means more time, it also means a new appraisal and hopefully a better bottom line in the end.
The rest of the week has been about moving on with life. It keeps going. Wednesday was church. Thursday, my mom and I took the boys to the park. This park happens to be right by the train tracks and Owen was delighted to see three different trains. Last night we went to the storage unit and picked up more kitchen items. I have the strong urge to bake because that is a comfort move of mine, however, it’s too hot at the moment. Once the cooler weather comes in I plan on making a couple different goodies. One being a family favorite of Hello Dollies and the other will probably be something pumpkin because pumpkin also sounds like comfort to me.
During nap times, I’ve been able to make good progress on my new book, Present Over Perfect. I love Shauna Niequist. She is one of my favorite authors. This books affirms so many decisions I’ve made. I am all about the smaller life these days. I’m trying to be intentional with my time and influence. I love being home with my boys and making my family a priority. I love serving the kiddos at Bethel and I enjoy being a part of my local MOPS group. I might not run in big circles these days, but I love the small circles I am in. I know that I am encouraging others and pointing them to Jesus. This book empowers a healthy lifestyle, healthy boundaries and a healthy priorities. It encourages stillness and shows the power of small things. It’s a good read for sure. I am also equally excited to start How to Survive a Shipwreck by Jonathan Martin. I know the title seems a bit dramatic, but I can relate the shipwreck feeling. In life there will be failure and disappointment. I’m hoping for some practical encouragement from my next read.
Jeremy spend a good part of today making the outside of the house presentable. We did some more grocery shopping. We needed to restock some key pantry items. Tomorrow I will clean the inside of the house thoroughly and pray that this showing could be the one! How awesome would it be to only have one showing back on the market before we got another offer? While that seems unlikely, I can dream. This whole process has brought out two sides of me. One is always hopeful, thinking the best is right around the corner. The other is very pessimistic and “woe is me.” It’s strange to flip flop between hope and discouragement. Especially so many times throughout the day. More than trusting in my own emotions, which are all over the place, I am trusting in God. My mom sent me a quote from Corrie Ten Boom that says, “God doesn’t have problems, he has plans.” I am reminded that my house situation isn’t a problem. It’s an opportunity. God isn’t freaking out because my house didn’t sell, so I guess I shouldn’t either.