I wasn’t ready for Christmas to be over. I built it up as this big, exciting, focal point of celebration. The anticipation of Christmas carried our family for weeks. It was a wonderful Christmas even with COVID limitations. I know the post-Christmas blues are a real thing and I saw them coming before they ever arrived. The last week of 2020 felt extremely odd without Christmas and with so many restrictions on our free time. I would say that my after-Christmas life has been a lot of little chores, reading, and family time in the hot tub time. All good things, but the days are blurring together. We’ve had a few interesting/exciting/adrenaline-inducing moments to break up the “sameness” that seems to have settled over us.
We waited until the last day of vacation to take down our Christmas decorations. The kids begged us to wait as long as possible. Usually, I’m ready for the Christmas décor to be boxed up and put away. I enjoy reclaiming the house. On the flip side, I feel like the house is empty once the decorations are gone. I was on the fence about taking down Christmas, so it made me easy to sway when it came to keeping it up as long as possible. The house is reset to “normal” which I haven’t seen since August, so yes, it feels weird. Adjusting to empty space takes time, but I’m getting there.
Last Monday was like ripping the band-aid off after vacation. It was back to homeschooling, back to solo parenting during the day, and back to leading my MOPS group all in one day. It was a good day, but a big day. I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy over being a responsible adult again. The combination of the end of the year and my upcoming birthday tend to make me super reflective in January. I can be more in my head and spend extra time processing where I’m at and how things are going. Back to adulting, COVID restrictions keeping us at home, extra contemplation – that’s where I was last week.
After surviving the big day “back” on Monday, Tuesday was supposed to be more relaxed, more restful. At least, that was the plan. Graham had other plans. As I was getting him ready for our afternoon quiet time, he fell backwards and cut his head on a windowsill. I’m not great with blood (I almost fainted). I quickly called in back-up. My mom and Jeremy are both more medically-minded and can handle the sight of blood. My mom (who lives next door) was home and came over to help me stop the bleeding. Jeremy came home to determine if Graham needed stitches. He was unsure, so off to the doctor’s office we went. Luckily, Graham narrowly avoided stitches. I narrowly avoided fainting. We both emerged victorious. Graham was quickly back to his happy self and I went in search of chocolate!
Wednesday was spent being shocked and upset with the situation at the US Capital. I was about to have a phone date with a friend when my mom texted to fill me in. My friend and I quickly prayed at the start of our phone call, but we decided to not let this incident dominate our discussion. At the time of our conversation, I was still in the sick-to-my-stomach, is-this-really-happening stage of processing. It just seemed impossible that something like that could happen. So… anyway… like many others, Wednesday was shadowed by a whole slew of emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
I was dragging on Thursday. It dawned on me that first week of 2021 had certainly not turned out how I expected. When life feels like too much, I usually move from focusing on the big picture to looking for the small moments of goodness. On Thursday, the weather had shifted and the rain was gone. I was able to take an afternoon walk outside, under a blue sky. I needed the chance to walk with my thoughts while taking a deep breath of fresh air. I walked down to our mailbox and was surprised by an early birthday card. Small moments of goodness were all around. My soul was starting to feel some restoration after a rocky week.
The excitement of the weekend was that my hubby completed a house project that has been on the to-do for years now (pretty much since we moved in). We had hoped to add a tile backsplash around our master bathtub over Christmas vacation. After looking at title options, we decided to order online which delayed the start of the project. The tile arrived last week and Jeremy spent the weekend installing it (with Owen supervising from time to time). I love having a handy hubby! Since our master bathtub is used by two wild, splashy boys, our walls are now better protected from the tidal waves and hurricanes that occasionally occur. I love that the tile we chose pulls in the colors of our flooring and the pre-existing tile around our countertop. I look a celebratory bubble bath last night and loved being surrounded by my hubby’s handiwork. Way to go, Jeremy!
And here we are at the start of another week. I’m curious to see how week two of 2021 treats us. It’s my birthday week, so I’m optimistic it will be an improvement over last week. On Thursday, I will be 35 and officially closer to 40 than to 30. The first half of my 30’s have been a wild ride. There have been some serious lows, but also some amazing highs. In my 30’s, I have genuinely worked to understand myself better and to appreciate who I am and how I got here. It’s gives me hope for the future. I keep believing that best is yet to come!