We are at the start of a new season. Slowly our area is opening again after the coronoavirus shutdown and slowed down our country for months. Change is happening all around us as the next season unfolds for our family and our community.
Today was Jeremy’s first Sunday back at church in over two months. This week our governor made it possible for churches to gather indoors with small numbers and social distancing guidelines. The announcement was made on Wednesday and the church staff jumped into action so that Sunday morning could happen. Since the number of people in the building is limited, the boys and I stayed home to continue watching church online. The transition back to church will be one of patience for our family. Jeremy, obviously, will be there because it’s his job as a pastor. The boys and I will wait for larger gatherings sizes. It felt strange to send Jeremy off on his own this morning. While we were home together, we enjoyed having a sit down breakfast on Sunday mornings. As a pastor’s wife, I got the special treat of sitting through a Sunday morning message with my husband. I wholeheartedly believe that the church is meant to gather together in person, but I’ve also enjoyed Sunday mornings at home together as a family. It will be an adjustment as we move forward.
In month of June more change is coming. The MOPS & MOMSnext year is wrapping up for me. The school year is wrapping up for the boys. We are moving towards summer mode – whatever that looks like. Summer is still a bit of a mystery. One of the lesson I’ve learned during the stay-home season is to take things one day at a time. The big picture can be unclear and that is okay. What am I doing today? What needs to be done? What should be celebrated? Each day holds so much potential. I don’t need to know all the answers and see the whole picture, I can trust that today is enough. June will definitely bring changes to the new normal we’ve established.
At the end of Christmas break this winter, I got teary-eyed. It had been such a fun time. I enjoyed the break and part of me wished I could freeze time. In a lot of ways I have that same feeling now. It’s been a good “break”. It started off weird, but eventually our family found our groove. While things are changing slowly, it does feel like a break is coming to an end. Our stay-home mandate might be gone, but we are also heading into the summer months. Maybe I should look at it as a shift from one break to another – from quarantine spring to summer break.
I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to have lots of feelings – both positive and negative – about change. It’s okay to be excited and unsure at the same time. There is still tension to be lived in. I realize that I prefer to operate in an all-or-nothing kind of a way. I either want to stay home 100% or be back to normal 100%. There is going to be an window of time where we live in-between those two extremes. We are not mandated to be home, but we are not back to business as usual. I’m reminded that grace for myself and grace for others is so crucial. The tension is yet another opportunity to give grace and show love.
I can see the new season on the horizon. Parts of it have arrived and are becoming clear. Many elements of the new season are yet to be discovered. I went to into quarantine thinking of it as an adventure. This mindset is helpful in tackling something new, especially when I feel unsure. There is another new adventure unfolding – the start of re-opening, the start of summer, the farewell to quarantine. I want to meet this new season with a hopeful heart. If I keep my eyes on Jesus and follow his lead, I can go into the great unknown, ready for the next adventure.