Life is full of chapters. Some are longer than others. Some go by in the blink of an eye. I’ve had time to think about my most recent chapter. We put our Winlock house up for sale in May of 2016. We spent April of 2016, cleaning the house, doing projects and getting it ready to go onto the market. This means that we’ve been in a two year process of selling the Winlock house, moving in with Jeremy’s parents, preparing to build our new house, actually building the new house and then moving into the new house! It feels odd to be at end of what seems like a really long chapter in my story.
Here is where my mind wandered this week. It’s strange to finally be in our home – at the final destination of two years worth of hoping, dreaming, working and waiting. The big thing that stood out to me is that our story isn’t over. It’s not “Jeremy, Amy, Owen & Graham moved into the new house and they lived happily ever after. The end.” – This is not “the end”, this is just the beginning. The beginning of a new chapter and a new season for our family. I guess we could be seen in the “happily ever after” portion of the story, but I’ve been on this earth long enough to to know that happily ever after doesn’t really happen this side of heaven. That is for another time and another place. But… here I sit in this new home, this new blessing that still smells like new carpet and fresh paint. Let me tell you, I’ve had waves of anxiety. At first I felt super materialistic and freaked out by new house. Surely, I don’t need something so big, so nice. What was I thinking? Then I reminded myself that I want to open my doors to others. I have space to be gracious, hospitable and welcoming. I reminded myself that if the Lord allows it, I will some day have teenagers in this house and we picked this floor plan with teenagers in mind, not just toddlers. This also led to the next freak out – what if we can’t stay to see the boys be teenagers here? What if something changes and we have to move? Do I have my heart too set on living here “forever”? And then a peace settled over my heart. God whispered to me “Do not fear. Just enjoy while it is yours.” I was almost too scared to build this dream house two years ago when the opportunity presented itself. I thought of all the “what ifs” and all the ways things could go wrong and I didn’t want that pain. And then I realized that was the voice of fear, not of Jesus. We boldly went forward with this crazy plan of selling our first home and moving in with family (something I thought for sure I would never need to do) and then built a lovely home (something I thought we never would be able to do). It’s amazing how life turns out nothing like we expect and yet it is still good. What would we miss out on if life turned out the way we thought it would? We wouldn’t have the chance to be surprised by God who has so much more in store for us than we can even imagine.
As you can tell, I’m wrestling with all the thoughts, feelings and emotions that come with change. No matter what the change – even good change, there is a shift in how we do things, how we think, how we process. I am loving our space. I am settling in and truly do feel at home here. I look around and I feel blessed beyond measure. One of the biggest blessings of the last week has been sharing my space with others. I am so excited to be a hostess and have people over. This means that in a week’s span of time I will have had two close friends/mentors over and two play dates for a total of eight guests in one week. What a blessing! What a joy! I want to have everyone over. I want to share my space, my home, my life and welcome in everyone with open arms. We’ve been given a gift. I don’t know how long this next chapter will be, but I am ready to embrace it for all that it is. So, if you’re a local friend or family member and you haven’t had a chance to come visit me, know that my door is open and I am ready! Let’s have coffee (or if you’re like me, soda, juice or water) and we’ll let the kids destroy (aka play in) the playroom. I want to share what is mine with you! Because deep in my heart, I know it’s not really “mine”, it’s God’s house and I want it to be used for his glory and his purposes! Amen!