The boys are both napping. It’s been a productive morning of multi-tasking. I spent about two hours trying to “get things done” mixed with a lots of hugs, kisses and snuggles so my children won’t have childhood memories of a distant, working mother. This is the tension of working from home – in any capacity – whether its a work from home business or just keeping up with the household chores and duties. I don’t want to be too busy for my kids, but I also have to be an adult. I think it’s okay for my kids to see me working. I want them to know that things are getting taken care and that is a part of the tangible way that I love them and provide for them. Between my various commitments, I’m finding it’s hard to do things that fill me up. Things like reading a novel or journaling or blogging. Sometimes I just don’t have the time or the brain power to invest in myself. So today, even though Graham was cranky, I kept him up so boys could go down for a nap at the same time. Once they were down, I ate a bowl of ice cream in silence and then moved to my room to read my devotional, write in my journal and now blog. This is a once in a blue moon kind of afternoon. The kids will wake up all too soon and then I will be off a vendor event this afternoon/evening. The stillness doesn’t last long.
The big news that I want to share with you all today is we officially signed our construction loan paper yesterday! We have the green light to move forward with building! The funds are available to us and green means go! (Get the pun, we have money to build, money is green, green means go). I am beyond thrilled to think that our building season will now begin in earnest now. Oh how I long for my house. My lovely new house. I can see it in my mind and I wish I could do an “I dream of Jeannie” nod and just make it appear. Jeremy spent Memorial day weekend up at the property digging a trench for power. We have plans to assemble a well house in a week and half. Jeremy has people primed and ready to come in and get the site prep going. Once the site is officially prepped, Adair will take over the process. I just can’t wait. The hope, the joy, the excitement is welling up within me. Let’s build a house!
Obviously, the other big area of my life right now is my new Usborne business. I’m still a newbie so I’m trying to not make any rash decisions on if I love or hate this business. In a lot of ways, it’s been a very positive experience and at this point, I’ve achieved about what I expected when I signed up. However, I’ve had some rocky moments. I’ve had three parties in a row postpone on me and that has gotten me down. I also have two parties coming up that don’t look like they are doing so good and might not pan out. I have a very full month of June booked, so these set backs aren’t the end all of my business, but they are hard. I find myself often disappointed. I knew that the direct sales business wasn’t going to be easy. I wasn’t ready for the emotional roller coaster though. I’m not making any decisions yet on if this for me – long term and what not. I think I would like to continue into the fall/winter. Hopefully by then I will be in my own home where I could set up a permanent office space away from the kids. I will have Owen in preschool three days a week so our family schedule will be different at that point. It might be easier then.
Now that June is here, I’m thinking about building, I’m thinking about books, I’m thinking about MOPS, but I’m also thinking about how these are the last few months without daily commitments outside of the house. Preschool is a going to be a game changer for our family dynamic. I’m excited for Owen. I know he will love it. I also know that I want to be present at home while he is here. It’s really hard to stay present with an at home business. There is always something to do, someone to contact, a message to respond to. My phone can help me be productive, but it can also be destructive. I am wrestling with all of this and trying to find healthy boundaries in my life. I’m believing good things for the month of June as we move forward with the many exciting adventures before us. Prayer appreciated!
Graham is now up, so I’ll post a picture only blog maybe tonight or tomorrow! Because, let’s be real. Most of you only read this for the pictures and updates on the kids.