There are no quick fixes in my life right now. Things are taking time. I am starting to feel a little desperate for normal but I know that isn’t going to happen. Not for a while and not in the way I really crave at the moment.
Yesterday was our next planned moving date. A moving date that didn’t pan out (again). Friday will be another closing date that didn’t happen. It all feels so weird. We are living in a house that I could move out of in a few hours notice. We are ready to go. I guess the good thing about all these delays in selling our house is I am officially ready to go. I want to move on. I’m not as sad as I once was. I have disconnected more with Moonlit Lane and I am ready for what’s next. Maybe having our new property cleared might have something to do with that. I can see where my new home will go. We met with Adair this week and picked out all the features and upgrades we want in our new home. I can see the new goal and I am ready to move forward and make it happen.
Our closing date is still TBD. Our appraisal should be done by October 13th, if not sooner. Then we will have 7-10 business days after the appraisal to close. Instead of the middle of the month, it looks like we will move closer to the end of the month. However, I hold all that very tentative. I’ve become a bit of a skeptic.
Another upside of not moving until later in October is we will still be living on Moonlit Lane for Graham’s first birthday (however, his actual birthday will most likely be spent in Kirkland and not at home). I like the idea of Graham spending his whole first year of life here. I don’t know why it means something to me, but it does. I also love that Graham learned into walk in this house. It feels right to me. This is the baby house. The house where we brought our babies home, where we had nurseries and baby first milestones. I look at the plans for our next house and I see our “kid” house and our “teenager” house. I have loved our baby phase, but I am also very excited for the next phases.
Another thing that is taking more time in our life is Jeremy’s medical leave. It has now been extended to the end of October. MRI (the ministry counseling group) wants to do two intensive weeks with us and their first opening is the last two week of October. So now we will come back after period of time. Right now, our focus remains getting Jeremy’s health back to 100%. We are also doing a lot of evaluating and praying. We need God’s direction in our lives as we decide how the future will look for our family. We are hopeful that MRI will be a good opportunity for us to grow and help set us up for success in the future. Jeremy has another doctor’s appointment tomorrow to talk about his chest pain and see if a second opinion would be available. October holds great promise towards healing.
I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind another month in this strange state. I know that this season has purpose. It’s a surprisingly active season as we work towards Jeremy’s health. The month of October will be full. Our boys will have their 3rd & 1st birthdays. We have two parties next weekend to celebrate them. We will hopefully have movement with our house. We will have two very crazy weeks as we figure out how to spend a large chunk of our time in Kirkland meeting with MRI. I know this next month one will be a big for us. Our world has turned upside and it has the potential to keep spinning. We are trusting God to make our path straight as we follow him. I love how God gives you what you need in the moment. The other day the verse of the day on my Bible app was Proverbs 19:20-21, “Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” I couldn’t believe how perfectly this sums up life right now. On a sillier note, on a whim, I clicked on those Facebook links to show me my life quote. The quote it gave me was “There is no reason to look back, when there is so much good in front of you.” Okay, I can be a dweller. I have spent a great deal of time dwelling on the last the month and all that has transpired. There have been lots of questions, doubts and a fair amount of fear. But I am learning to live with the questions. I learning to give my doubts and fear to God. I don’t want to be paralyzed by past. I press forward because I believe there are good days ahead of us. I have great hope in where we will be on the other side of this. The hard part is I can’t race through this season. I can’t instantly acquire the healing we need in this moment, but I believe it is a head of us. I believe there is good in front of us and I want to walk to towards it. God will be with us every step. Even if things take time.