I hit the wall. I’m not sure when I did, but I know for a fact that I did. I have hit the wall and I am now on the other side. And life on the other side is a haze. Translation – I AM SO STINKING TIRED!!! Okay, I knew that life with a newborn meant crazy sleep, but man, I am exhausted. And yet, each day I get up and keep going. There is no way to stop. Despite hitting the wall, I must keep moving forward, onward. Moving actually helps me from just plain falling over. Okay, this paragraph might be my sleepy, dramatic side talking.
I would love to catch you up on the last week, but I have only a few brain cells to spare and Graham is starting to wake up, so I’ll be quick. On Friday, the boys and I joined Jeremy in Seattle for a conference commitment he had there. It was a crazy outing, but it was so much fun and totally better than staying home by myself with the boys waiting for Jeremy to make it through Friday rush hour traffic. Instead of sitting in traffic, we started our Christmas shopping – in real stores! That in itself is a Christmas miracle. I thought all my presents would be purchased on Amazon this year.
On Monday, Graham was officially 4 weeks old and tomorrow he will be officially a month old. I have many updates I could give on Graham and how he is doing, but I am going to save them for his one month post. Let’s just say this kid eats a lot and spits up a lot. I live my life nursing him and cleaning up the mess that follows. Seriously, gross. I am so over spit up. Anyway, more on that later.
I’ve been doing my best, trying to stay on top of life. This means making it to church and to MOPS. We celebrated my nephew’s second birthday this last weekend and we visited with out of town family last night. Even though I am exhausted, I keep making it out of the house. I might have a struggle putting together complete sentences, but I am there and that has to count for something, right? I hope so.
Our house is crazy these days. Owen loves to “throw” his toys everywhere. He especially loves the sound they make when he throws them on the hard floor. Toby continues to bark at anything outside the window – real or imagined. Graham sadly hasn’t been as chill as he once was and more crying has happened over the last week or so. If you catch things at the right moment you might think we live in a nut house. For the most part, I am trying to compartmentalize and not let the chaos get to me. We live here. Our house is well used and well loved. The crazy is a sign of life lived and it’s a good life. Just a loud one at times.
I’m not going to lie. Life is not easy. Not every moment is fun. I am still holding to the opinion that this whole family of four thing isn’t as bad as I assumed it would be, but at the same time, I am really feeling it – the lack of sleep and the exhaustion that comes from keeping up with a toddler and an infant. I know that not everyday will be sunshine and rainbows, but I am clinging to the fact that I am not alone. Parenting continues to reveal my great need for God. He is my anchor when I feel like I am slipping away. He holds me steady even in a sea of chaos. I am loved. I am okay. I am tired, but I will make it.
There you go. Once again, a not so short, but totally real update on my life.