You can tell when my life gets crazy because I don’t have time to write. I really don’t feel like myself if I’m not writing. I miss it! Last week was a busy week coming off of a busy weekend. It’s just how things fell, but I need to be intentional about having quiet weeks if I crazy weekends or quiet weekends if I have crazy weeks. I want to start off by saying that I love everyone that I saw last week and I value them deeply. My issues are not with the people. I just overbooked and this little introverted needed rest. The downside to overbooking is the toll it takes on my mental health. It might have been the pregnancy hormones kicking into high gear, but I felt panicky all week. Finally, I made the call that before going into another busy weekend, I needed a down day to rest. This meant that I had to say no to some activities with people I love, but I knew that I would be not in a good place if I didn’t rest. I’m glad I made that call. Friday was just what I needed. I got to spend time with my hubby and we went out to brunch together. Our schedules had been opposite much of the week, so it was good to see him and spend time with him. I was able to take a nap and a bubble bath and watch a movie. It was a good day.
On Sunday, we sang a song in church called “Beautiful Things” by Gungor. It’s a good song, but I felt for a long time that it was overplayed. Especially when my hubby would play it on repeat in the car. However, this Sunday I was pretty weary just coming off of the emotions of the week. When I get emotional, I tend to not like the person I become. I am faced with my own struggles and weakness. I’m faced with the fact that I can’t keep it all together all the time. I’ve felt less than beautiful this week – especially on the inside. Come Sunday, I was tired. All my activities had been good and with people I love, but I was just a little run down. As this song played there is a line that is repeated often about “making beautiful things out of the dust.” I’ve felt a little dusty this week. I wasn’t at my best. I was reminded by this song that there is still hope for me even in my most human of moments. God can make beautiful things out of my dust. It’s so reassuring to know that I’m not stuck in this place forever. God can make a garden out of my mess. I’m not much of a cry-during-worship-type person, but I was about to lose it! Oh emotions! Regardless of the ups and downs that I feel, God reminded me that he take whatever I offer him and make it into something beautiful. It was exactly what I needed to hear.
This weekend was a family weekend spent celebrating a birthday and Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day was an interesting day for me. Jeremy and I had said originally that we weren’t going to celebrate Mother’s Day or Father’s Day this year. I have yet to change a diaper or rock a screaming child late into the night. It was kind of 50/50 to me. Yes, I am well aware that there is a baby growing inside of me, but it still felt weird like taking credit for something I haven’t done yet. I got SO many “Happy Mother’s Day” wishes and TONS of ladies telling me that this year counted that I eventually stopped telling people that I wasn’t really celebrating the day personally. However, my hubby had other plans! He got me a bouquet of tulips, one of my favorite flowers, and a gift card so I can buy books. He knows me well! It was very sweet of him and very much a surprise! I’m glad though that he did get me something because I’ve had plans in the work for him with Father’s Day. Now I know it won’t make him feel bad because everything will be equal! Our Mother’s Day was spent visiting both our moms and enjoying family time. It’s nice that our families live close enough that we can spend time with both on the holidays. Jeremy and I are so thankful for our moms and how they helped shape us into the people we are today. I’m sure in the coming years we will appreciate them even more as we gain a parent’s perspective on life.
So overall, lots of lessons learned this week and lots of good family time. I’ve learned that overloading my calender is bad. I learned that’s important to say when you need a break because it does pay off. I also want to thank all the people that I did see and hang out with last week. Thank for loving me where I am at! Thank you for listening to me and praying for me. I am blessed that even when I go crazy that I have people in my life who love me through it no matter what! I am blessed!