Yesterday, I was driving home from a leadership conference in Tacoma and I was verbally wrestling with some things. Jeremy was very patient as I talked this out for the millionth time! He also put up with my snuffed-nose sounding conversation… He’s very kind! Anyway, I was talking things out and knowing what God has called me to do and who he has called me to be. I struggle with acceptance and so my biggest fear is that people will be upset by my choices. I know that I can’t make everyone happy and make God happy at the same time, but it would sure be nice!
On our way home we stopped by the office to check our boxes so we could order tickets for our upcoming 5th grade graduation activity. In my box out front, my dear friend, who happens to be the church receptionist, had slipped some fun post-it notes in my box. Christa and I share a love for fun office supplies, so it was such a sweet gesture. On them was a note that said “Just because!” In my next box in the back offices, I had to notes written on name tags from some of my past students who are now high schoolers. They each wrote about how they loved me, missed me and thought we should all hang out soon. If that wasn’t enough I had forgotten to grab my craft from last night. I had the girls make memory books, like yearbooks, to pass around – signing everyone’s as a way to remember the class and offer encouragement to each other. As I read the notes from my girls, I saw things like “I love all the snacks you make”, “You are a great pastor”, “Thanks for teaching this class”, “I’ll miss you next year”. The best one was from my high school helper who told me I’ve stayed with her through thick and thin and she’s glad we’ve reconnected. Other girls mentioned I was a good friend and they knew I was always there for them. I had done this exercise so I could speak into their life and the let other girls encourage them. I was equally as blessed by this activity. When I got home, I found a bathmat sitting on my entry way bench. After reading my past blog on stains, my mom called to say that she had a neutral colored bathmat just sitting in a closet and she wondered if I wanted it to replace the stained one. She brought over the new mat today when she came to let our dog out so we could be gone the whole day. Plus, I got to see my good friend who moved back into the area after being in Nashville for 6 years and I got meet her baby boy for the first time!
Can you feel the love? I’m basking in it’s glow! Even though I wrestle and struggle for acceptance, I could feel God speaking to me through these experiences. He was encouraging me to keep going and to keep doing what I do. As I read these notes, I know I’m making a difference and I have influence. I never want to take that for granted. I want to keep using my influence to passionately point people towards Jesus! I have people that care about me and show it me in tangible ways. It melted my heart! God sees right where I am at and sends in reinforcements when I need them most! I sit here – thankful! I am blessed by the relationships I have in my life and how they keep me going. So thank you to everyone who shows me love in the little ways. It’s because of you that I take heart and continue on this journey laid out before me.