My last blog discussed the only way to cure inexperience was with experience. It seems I’ve been getting loads of it thrown my way lately. The hard part is when my standard is perfection. I know it shouldn’t be, but for some reason I expect myself to be the world’s greatest public speaker. However, I’m not. But I am trying. I am learning. It’s a process. I have to go easy on myself – but really who does that???
Today I got my first experience speaking at a memorial service. It was a short service for a small crowd, but a first for me nonetheless. I was asked to do the opening prayer. Since it was my first time ever praying at a memorial service, I will admit that I read the prayer. I figured that most people would have their eyes closed so it would be no big deal. I wrote the prayer earlier this afternoon. I wanted to make sure that in the moment I didn’t let my words run loose and put my foot in my mouth. I wanted to be sensitive to the crowd and the best way seemed to script myself. Jeremy did ask if I read the prayer in the car on the way home. He thought it was a really good prayer for going off the cuff and I had confess that I didn’t think of it the moment. Oh well, hopefully no one figured it out and if they did, hopefully they didn’t mind.
I shared a couple of Scriptures and my own personal reflections on the young mom that passed away. She was a volunteer in our ministry and she dearly loved Jesus and her two boys. It’s hard in moments like these to wonder why God would let someone so young with little children pass. I know that she’s in a better place, but I wonder and worry about her boys. My prayer is that the seeds of faith that she planted in their hearts will continue to grow long after she is gone. Her love for her boys is the strongest memory I will have of her. The other thing I will take away for this situation is truly how precious life is and you never know when your time here on earth is up. This world is temporary and fleeting. I’m encouraged to live each day with purpose and love. Tomorrow is never a guarantee.
So yes, experience. I knew I wanted to grow my skill set of public speaking. I’m amazed that once I voice that just how much opportunity has come my way. I’m not the greatest thing to hit the church (I think that would be Jesus), but I do feel like I’m stepping up to what Jesus has called me to do. In a sense, that is all I can do. It might not be perfect. I need to accept that on this side of heaven nothing I do really will be. I just have to take a deep breath, thank God for the opportunities that come my way and do the best with what I’ve got. I’m certainly collecting some experience. It’s not always fun, but it’s good.