Everything has a starting point. I try to live intentionally and live with the end in mind. This means I have to start somewhere. There has to be a beginning to my journey. I need to take baby steps towards my dreams. However, at the beginning, there is this “greenhorn” effect, being the newbie. If I could sum it up on one word – inexperience. You know what the only cure for inexperience is? Experience! They only way I’ll grow is if I put myself out there and try new things. At 26, I know I’m limited on the life experience side of things, so I need to chase down opportunities and welcome open doors.
With all that in mind, I would like share some humorous reflections on doing communion during our 9:00am service. On Thursday, I was asked by our lead pastor if I would be up for doing communion and I replied with a hearty “definitely”. My confidence level on the inside was a lot a lower than how I was appearing on the outside, but I know that I need to say yes to these opportunities as they come so I can grow my skill set. I’ve done communion with kids before, but adults are different. Are you noticing that theme? I’m pretty comfortable with kids. Adults are a whole different story and I’m trying to get over my fear of them!
All weekend I’ve been pondering what I will say in my 5ish minutes up front. What points will I bring out? What passage of scripture will I use? Here is what I discovered after too much time thinking – communion is what it is. There really no way to reinvent the wheel. I’ve seen it done hundreds of times by various pastors and the best thing for me to do is follow in their foot steps, instead of trying to find a creative new take. Some things are classic. Keep it simple.
This now leads me to an important question – How many hands does it take to lead communion? Answer: more than two!!! Have you ever tried holding a Bible, a microphone, a small communion cup, and a tiny cracker all at the same time? I tried it for the first time today and let me tell you, it’s tricky!!! This insight gives me a deeper respect for those who have mastered this! There was no music stand or table up front, so I have to place something on the floor. I decided on the juice cup. Mental note: don’t kick juice cup over while talking. Now I have to open my Bible and read from it – while holding the microphone and the cracker. In order to keep the cracker in my hand, I’m afraid it might have looked like I had a claw hand holding my Bible. I opened my Bible and my hand bookmark got in the way, so I tried to move it with the hand with the microphone in it…. while reading… while holding the cracker… while trying to not kick over my cup on the floor. Now add my hair deciding to fall into my face. Normally this would be no big deal. I would just tuck it behind my ear and all would be good. But wait – I have NO HANDS to do what with! So now add me trying to flip my hair back with the gentle flip of my head… Can you say awkward???? I should also mention that my legs were starting to shake towards the end. It was a bit of nerves mixed with that the fact that after eating a bunch of leftovers from my class sleepover, I felt guilty yesterday and I decided to do a 1/2 hour of upbeat step aerobics. I haven’t done step aerobics in months… so yeah, I’m feeling it today. Mental note: don’t stress your legs out the day before you have to stand on a platform – bad combo!
When I got back to my seat, I saw that I had a text message from a good friend who was in the service. She said I did a great job and that I was a natural. All I could think about how was how none of that felt natural for me. As a perfectionist, I can be hard on myself and have high standards for my performance. Honestly, I had expected myself to do better. I wasn’t as polished or graceful as I would have hoped. I must remind myself that was my first time. It wasn’t a home run, but I should be glad that I got a chance to step up to the plate. With time and experience, things like this will start to feel natural and not so strange and foreign. I wish that I was good at everything the first time I tried it, but that isn’t realistic. I’ll need experience to grow and I’m willing to try! I guess that’s where it all starts!