I’m not even sure where to begin. There is so much I want to share about my first experience preaching. I do realize that I was a part of a tri0 – a teaching team. I wasn’t the only one on stage talking for the whole duration of the time. So yes, I think it would be safe to say that my first time in a preaching capacity was a bit of a baby step. I’m not sure I would be ready for the whole thing to be on me. Maybe next I’ll team teach with one other individual before I move to it just being me… Who really knows if I’ll ever have the opportunity again?
If I were to be honest, what I did yesterday, I thought I would never do. Not because I didn’t believe I could do, but I wasn’t sure if I would ever have the opportunity. I struggle with confidence and I know this might sound like “high school” but I never thought I would be cool enough. I never thought I would be seen as having anything worth saying. However, I can see how God has been growing me and helping me to speak up. I’m being honest about who I am and what I’m thinking. It’s been really scary – putting myself out there, not hiding. Stepping up to new challenges is risky and uncomfortable!
When Pastor Kyle asked me if I would be interested in preaching on Mother’s day, my mind went into an instant pro and con list. Pro – It would be a good opportunity to grow my ministry skill set. Con – I’m not a mom. Pro – I have a lot to say to parents. Con – I’ve never done this before. The list goes on, but let’s just say I was excited and terrified all at the same time. I’m glad that I was able to do this endeavor as a team. It was really a privilege to work beside Pastor Vicki and Shereena, our youth pastor’s wife. I feel like this shared experience has taken my relationship deeper with each of them. For that, I am blessed!
So, how did it go? Well, I feel it went awesome. I was nervous, but it didn’t control me. I feel like I was able to keep a level head and share my heart clearly. I realize that I’m not a polished public speaker and I still have room to grow, but for my first time, I think it was a great experience. Because it was a shared sermon, I never felt overwhelmed. I could have talked more and not felt in over my head. It was a good surprise to find that I liked it! I enjoy myself! Praise the Lord!
I want to keep polishing my skills and growing in my confidence as a public speaker. As painful as it was, I watched the footage from both services today (our first service wasn’t recorded, so I was able to go over 2/3 of the film). I’m not a big fan of watching myself, but I wanted to see myself from another perspective – the view of the audience. I said “um” too many times. I know it was nerves. It will take intentional thought on my part to break the ums. I also said “cuz” at one point. I almost beat my head on the desk as I watched the screen. “Cuz” – really? Do I speak English? I guess not! I know as I take a good look at myself and make notes, I’ll have a foundation laid for what not to do next time.
Oh, next time… I’m not sure when it will, but I really hope there is a next time. I don’t want to shy away from opportunities like this. My prayer is that I’ll have more opportunities to develop this skill set. I know the more I do it, the more confident I will become. I never saw myself being on-stage as a part of the preaching team. I’m viewing this weekend a big win for me personally. God was so good to me. I feel like saying, “Who am I?” Why does he keep blowing my mind? I’m not worthy! Even if I’m not, I’m willing to keep walking forward knowing that God has good in store for me. I know he is leading me, because I would have never ended up here on my own!
Note: Once it’s up, I’ll share the podcast link for those that might want to hear the sermon. I also plan on sharing my sermon notes here for those who are curious about what I said. Stay tuned!