I feel like I’ve hit the ceiling of what I can accomplish. I’m a pastor’s wife with a bachelor’s degree in Church Ministries and a minor in Biblical Studies. I have received my license to preach from my fellowship and now I’m about to become an ordained minister. I work alongside my husband as his administrative assistant and so much more. I love my job and I love the people I work with. However, with ordination coming up in a month, I have begun to wonder what the next step is for me. I’ve been pondering what is the next goal and what am I being called to beyond this. Life never stays still and I don’t want to think I’ve reached my greatest heights yet. There must be a “next” for me.
I have felt called to writing for a long time. I love to read and I have been shaped so much for the voices of authors. My dream would be to impact people the way I have been so positively influenced. Often I have believed the Cinderella line that “a dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep.” Nothing about my dream seemed like reality. Just the sleepy thoughts of a girl who wants to do more. I’ve worried that I have nothing to say, that I’m the only one who feels this way, what if people realize that I have doubts and struggles, would my words even matter. Fear has held me back from making this dream a reality.
After much prayer and a push in the right direction from loved ones, I have started my writing adventure. I’m truly walking into the great unknown. It seems like everything under the sun has already been written. I may have no new truth to share, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t share it. I have realized that unless I speak up I will not have a voice. If I am stating the same thing as someone else, people out there will begin to see that they are not alone. I myself will also be encouraged to know that I’m not the only one to have these thoughts. There is shared strength in honesty and truth.
I haven’t taken any how to write an article classes or blogging 101, but I feel compelled to go into new territory and share what I am thinking. I want to share what I have learned and what I am in the process of learning. I want to ask questions. I want to explore God’s love and his calling on my life. I want my voice to be heard and to make a difference. My prayer is that on this journey of writing I will be able to express myself more deeply. I will go beyond the surface and address what is going on in my soul. I will be real and open. Some may think that I am crazy and honestly, I believe there is a bit of crazy in all of us. We might experience life in different ways, but there is truth in the world that binds all together and gives us common ground.
My prayer is that the Lord will guide me on this new path. I pray that I will be able to step out in truth and share my experiences with love and honesty. I know that I am woman called by God. He has a plan for me and he will equip me to do his good purposes. I don’t want to be scared anymore. So often I have believe that I must keep my mouth shut because I’m supposed to have it all together. The truth is I don’t have it all together. I never will, but I’m learning that is okay. I want to grow from my life experiences and use them to advance the kingdom of God.
So I am open for business! Open to the Holy Spirit and open to life! I am open to being seen and known. I want to step out of my comfort zone and embrace a new path that the Lord has set before me. This new territory is unknown to me and unfamiliar, but that is no longer an excuse not to explore it. I trust that there is good to be had in this great adventure and I don’t want to miss out. I will not remain silent when I know that I am called to share my story and my journey with others.